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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29486487">Fangs Into My Lover</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeroplaneseok/pseuds/aeroplaneseok'>aeroplaneseok</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Biting, Childhood Friends, Double Penetration, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Huang Ren Jun/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas - Freeform, Liu Yang Yang/Mark Lee, M/M, Mild Blood and Injury, Mild Painplay, Non-Human Genitalia, Recreational Drug Use, Rough Sex, Size Queen Lee Jeno, Smoking, Soft sex, Strength Kink, Werewolves, Wet &amp; Messy, aka they micro dose on shrooms once, also COVID doesn't exist in this au because i said so, fem!yangyang, multiple sex scenes, non-binary Mark Lee, this is like half plot half porn lol, yes this tag is back babeyyy!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:34:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>46,601</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29486487</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeroplaneseok/pseuds/aeroplaneseok</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeno and Jaemin have a lot of history between them after being attached at the hip for their entire childhoods, but when Jaemin leaves for North America in 2018, it's nothing more than that - history. </p><p>Three years on, and Jeno had all but forgotten about him, but when Jaemin returns, it forces him to face up to the feelings he thought he had buried in the past.</p><p>“Jaemin? Na Jaemin?”</p><p>His eyes twinkle, far too happy for someone losing that much blood from the two pricks of the vampire bite on his neck. </p><p>“The very same,” he rasps, cocky and awful, just like he was when Jeno last saw him three years ago. “Hey beautiful.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>137</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Fangs Into My Lover</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/meiqis/gifts">starrymeis (meiqis)</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>First off, please read the tags before proceeding, this fic isn't /too/ heavy in its themes, but if light alcohol and psychedelic micro-dosing isn't your thing then please don't read. </p><p>Now my disclaimer is out of the way, I want to give a HUGE thank you to Chii (starrymeis) for being the godparent of this fic, without them, it probably wouldn't exist in the first place. You've been such a huge help with all aspects of this fic, from the overall premise to the tiny wording details to the design of one of the main characters and the world of the AU itself. Also thank you to Ash (glitterjungwoo) and to my girlfriend Bethan for supporting me and generally being amazing 🥺 love you both &lt;3</p><p>If you'd like something to listen to while you read, or just want to get more of an idea of the tone, please check out the <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1gjiqOquKn9gZGQtn96MeC?si=pOjbjLneS1yvIWt2drPIIw">playlist</a> I made to accompany the fic! I did my best to show the shift from the angst at the beginning to slowly falling in love, using lots of my favourite songs. </p><p>Thank you so much in advance for reading, and check out the notes at the end for some goodies! (it will spoil the fic though so read that first, don't just skip ahead!)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jeno had always been puzzled by the obsession humans have with the past. </p><p>In every single history book from elementary to high school, they told of the war of a century ago that raged for two long years, tearing the country and the people apart in its wake. Vampires had attacked mercilessly, drawn out of their caves by humans settling too close by, and they fed on people and livestock alike. Werewolves - the only creatures with enough natural strength to overpower them - battled for months and months to protect their packs and their livelihoods, until finally the vampires conceded. </p><p>For many years after the war, the humans worshipped the ground that werewolves walked on for their service, gifting them medals and titles of nobility, along with all the wealth they could wish for. Over time, however, this obsession seemed to wear off, each new generation of werewolves more average than the last - at least to the humans.</p><p>Jeno’s father is a descendent of those courageous wolves, so goddamn “brave and noble” in fact that he disappeared soon before Jeno was due to be born. Both he and his sister borrow half their genes from their werewolf father, and the other half from their human mother who raised them single-handedly. Long gone are the days when werewolf blood would make one a celebrity, but Jeno had always asked himself <em>‘why would it?’ </em>when he integrates so seamlessly into human society, albeit left with a few wolf instincts that no amount of schooling could train out of him. </p><p>Wolves live minute-by-minute, always in the present, this being the reason why Jeno had constantly been perplexed by the need humans have to still teach of wars from hundreds of years ago. That is, until he fucked everything up so badly at age eighteen that he realised - it’s so that they don’t repeat their mistakes, and Jeno would never forget his mistake of trusting Na Jaemin. </p><p>🐺</p><p>
  <em>February 2nd 2021 </em>
</p><p>“Goodnight Mrs Jung!” Jeno waves politely to his colleague, tucking his chair under his desk. </p><p>“Take care, Jeno,” she smiles, her keyboard still clacking away even when her eyes aren’t on it. </p><p>“See you tomorrow, drive safe.” He slings his bag over his shoulder, zipping up his tatty parka and twirling his car keys around his finger as he heads for the door. </p><p>“You too!” she calls after him, the radio softly playing behind the reception desk, and Jeno locks the door after him as he leaves the doctors’ surgery. </p><p>All he can think about is the nice hot shower that awaits him at the gym, his membership card clicking against his bundle of keys as he walks briskly over to his car, his shoulders almost touching his ears in his efforts to keep warm. Dr Lee said it was due to snow tonight, and Jeno doesn’t doubt it, the clock in his two-door car reading 7pm, and he can see his own breath as the engine sputters and eventually turns over. He turns the heating dials with shaky fingers, blasting hot air on his windscreen in an attempt to clear it from condensation as fast as possible, and switches his headlights on. </p><p>As the glass clears, Jeno squints at a shape just visible at the side of the building, illuminated by his headlights. The shape moves, and Jeno scrambles out of his car, leaving the engine running as he approaches the figure slumped against the cinder blocks. They’re groaning, body almost limp with their legs outstretched and loose white button-up streaked with blood. </p><p>“Are you alright?” Jeno calls out to them, hurrying across the grass verge, churned more to mud than anything at this stage in the winter. The person is only wearing a thin shirt and a leather jacket, and even with tight jeans and heavy black boots on, it’s nowhere near enough layers to protect them from the cold. </p><p>As Jeno reaches their side, squatting down to find where all the blood is coming from, the shock of blue hair stirs and they lift their head to meet Jeno’s eyes. </p><p>“Oh my god,” Jeno breathes, shock and adrenaline twisting his gut as his eyes land on the two holes in the guy’s neck, but even more so when he takes in his appearance. There’s a dopey smile on his face, sick and twisted and smug, and it’s a face Jeno would know anywhere. </p><p>“Jaemin? Na Jaemin?” </p><p>His eyes twinkle, far too happy for someone losing that much blood, and Jeno sees red streaked all over his hands that lie limp and crumpled in his lap. </p><p>“The very same,” he rasps, cocky and <em>awful, </em>just like he was when Jeno last saw him three years ago. “Hey beautiful.” </p><p>🐺</p><p>Jeno at least has the sense to bring a scarf with him when he parks in the multi-story at the city hospital. It was almost an hour’s drive with traffic and the parking is so fucking expensive, but he promised. </p><p>He’s not sure if Jaemin even heard him last night as he was bundled into the back of the ambulance, but he asked Jeno to promise to visit him, and if Jeno is anything, he’s a man of his word. He shivers in the waiting room, his parka is still hanging on the washing line after being scrubbed furiously with a wet rag - Jeno had balled it up and used it to try and stop Jaemin’s bleeding - so he’s only got his hoodie for warmth. </p><p>“This way, sir,” A nurse leads him through to Jaemin’s ward, and he’s greeted with a blinding smile when he rounds the corner and is faced with Jaemin’s bed. </p><p>“See!” Jaemin beams, “I told you he’d come!” </p><p>“You sure did,” the nurse smiles, charmed, the corners of her eyes creasing, and Jeno stands awkwardly at the foot of Jaemin’s bed, glancing cautiously at the heavy dressing on the juncture of his neck. </p><p>“I’ll leave you two to catch up,” she says, giving Jeno a polite smile before leaving to check on other patients. </p><p>He sits down on the hard plastic chair at Jaemin’s bedside, lips pressed firmly together. </p><p>“So, uhh, how are you feeling?” Jeno asks tentatively. </p><p>“I feel great,” Jaemin smiles, “My bed is pretty comfortable, and this stuff makes me feel like I could lift a mountain right now.” He gestures to his IV, it’s just fluids, but Jaemin seriously looks like he could use them. His under eyes are a deep purple and Jeno still remembers him well enough to know that his cheery act is nothing more than that, an act. Jaemin looks like he got the life sucked out of him - literally - his teeth a dazzling white when he smiles, even when his skin is dull and the bridge of his nose is split, butterfly strips taping the wound closed. Jeno looks to his hands folded in his lap, and his knuckles are riddled with scars and scratches. </p><p>“That’s good,” Jeno swallows, “I’m glad they gave you a nice bed.” </p><p>“It’s really soft, here, get in and feel it for yourself,” Jaemin winks, clearly delirious, and Jeno sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, a headache searing in his forehead. </p><p>“Jaemin, what are you doing here?” he asks bluntly. </p><p>“Eh? In case you didn’t notice, I was injured, so I went to the doctors’ like a normal person,” he says tightly, “What were you doing there?” </p><p>“I work at the surgery,” Jeno replies, crossing his arms firmly. </p><p>“Oh,” Jaemin blinks, and then leans forward with a gentle smile, “So you <em>did</em> become a nurse after all!” </p><p>“Technically I’m a receptionist…” Jeno mumbles, “but I’m being trained by the senior nurses two days a week— Anyway that’s besides the point, I mean what are you doing <em>here</em> -in the country?” </p><p>“Wow,” Jaemin leans back against his pillows, gazing up at the ceiling, “I really thought you would’ve moved away from that shithole by now,” he says calmly, as if he’s talking to himself. </p><p>“Yeah, well, some of us don’t get swept off to America at the drop of a hat. <em>Some</em> of us are still paying off our community college debt by ourselves and can’t afford to move out of the ‘shithole’ that used to be your home, too.” </p><p>“Sorry for being randomly scouted off the street, I guess,” he replies sarcastically. </p><p>Jeno grinds his teeth, “Answer my question, Jaemin. Why are you here?” </p><p>“Fucking hell, you’re <em>still</em> so nosy,” Jaemin rolls his eyes. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m taking a vacation.” </p><p>Jeno scoffs, “A vacation from what - living off Mommy and Daddy’s credit card?” </p><p>The fire in Jaemin’s eyes suddenly fizzles out, dying like a stamped out cigarette, “Actually, Jeno, my mother passed nine months ago.” </p><p>“Oh god… I’m so sorry,” Jeno backs off. Even though they fought a lot, he knows how much Jaemin’s mom meant to him. </p><p>“It’s fine,” Jaemin scrubs his eyes with his thumbs, “She hated me anyway.” </p><p>“Don’t say that,” Jeno replies softly, stomach twisting with so many emotions he feels like he might throw up. </p><p>They sit in silence for a moment, anger stewing between them, and Jeno finds himself staring into the middle distance at Jaemin’s neck, blood already spotting onto the dressing. </p><p>“Fuck are you looking at?” Jaemin spits when he catches him staring. </p><p>“Are you going to press charges?” </p><p>“What?” He pulls the collar of his hospital gown up over his dressing, but the flimsy material falls straight back down again, hanging over his collarbones. </p><p>“I saw the bite marks last night, are you going to press charges if the cops find the scumbag leech that did it?” Jeno whispers, the public finding out there’s a vampire in town again would only cause a mass panic. From birth, Jeno was taught just like every other kid on the planet that vampires are incredibly dangerous and <em>not</em> to be messed with. He’s only ever had to be wary of them a handful of times in his life, and they haven’t killed anyone in the whole county for forty years, but last night that nearly all changed. </p><p>“I dunno,” Jaemin sighs, “It was kinda my fault.” </p><p>“How?” Jeno cocks his head, the Jaemin who left three years ago would cower purely at the mention of vampires. His blood freezes in his veins at the thought of Jaemin not making it, or worse still, being turned - a fate far, far worse than death itself. </p><p>“I was buying speed from them,” he says matter-of-factly, not an ounce of regret in his voice, like this is a normal Tuesday night for him. </p><p><em>“Speed?” </em>Jeno hisses, tempted to smack Jaemin round the head if there weren’t other patients on the opposite side of the curtain. “What the hell, Jaemin?!” </p><p>Jaemin shrugs, unaffected by the disappointment in Jeno’s expression. “Shit happens, I thought at least you’d be pleased to see me.” </p><p>“Seriously?” Jeno deadpans, “Why would I be pleased to see you after you stole my fucking identity?” </p><p>“Christ, this again?” Jaemin rolls his eyes once more, “I didn’t steal your identity, I got you into one of the top universities in the country, what’s so wrong about that?” </p><p>“I’m not having this argument again,” Jeno says, getting up from his seat and stuffing his hands into his pockets. “My parking ticket is about to expire, goodbye Jaemin.” </p><p>“Whatever,” Jaemin waves him off, picking up his phone and putting in his earbuds, “You should’ve just left me there to turn.” </p><p>Jeno inhales a sharp breath, the old wounds in his heart being torn open again. “We both know I’m not stupid enough to do that.” </p><p>He doesn’t look back when he walks away, so he doesn’t see the tears that finally fall down Jaemin’s cheeks and make a break for it to drip salty off his chin onto the bedspread. </p><p>Jeno tucks his phone against his ear as he finishes rolling his cigarette, his back against the perspex wall of the smoking shelter on the edge of the hospital site, and the dial tone rings on and on in his ear. He lights the cigarette and takes a drag as the tone clicks over to voicemail. </p><p>
  <em>“It’s Donghyuck, leave a message.” </em>
</p><p>“Hey Hyuck, it’s me. You’ll never guess who’s back in town - Na fucking Jaemin.” </p><p>🐺</p><p>Jeno has a full two days of freedom from thinking about Jaemin, a blissful 48 hours of working and going to the gym and sleeping. Of course, that peace is shattered in the grocery store, of all places. </p><p>“Hello stranger.” Comes a deep voice behind him, and Jeno spins around, ready to hurl the carton of eggs in his hand right at Jaemin’s head. </p><p>“Are you following me?” he snaps, ignoring the oddly large smile on Jaemin’s face. It’s only a small store, so if he raised his voice loud enough he could have Jaemin escorted outside within the minute. </p><p>“Woah, easy with the accusations,” Jaemin teases, holding his hands up in surrender. Jeno simply glares at him, he has no time in his life anymore for this shit. “You’re the only halfblood in town, Jeno, it’s not hard to sniff you out.” </p><p>Stupid werewolf pheromones. </p><p>“I see the hospital discharged you - you all clear?” Jeno huffs, letting Jaemin step a little closer so that an elderly man can move past them. </p><p>“Yeah, they said I was lucky that particular venom wasn’t very potent, otherwise I would’ve been a goner for sure.” </p><p>Jeno doesn’t mind him being closer, doesn’t feel the need to shuffle backwards to put some space between them. He hates to admit it, but he feels… sorry for Jaemin. </p><p>“As in, turned?” he breathes, afraid of saying the words in anything louder than a whisper. </p><p>Jaemin nods, “I’m all good, no vampire in here,” he taps the side of his head. “I’ll have a pretty cool scar though once this dressing comes off,” he grins, and Jeno can’t help but mirror a little smile back. </p><p>“How long were you in Andong?” He doesn’t know why he’s asking all these questions, he could just walk away, but sheer curiosity makes him continue. </p><p>“They discharged me the day after you visited. I don’t have a car here though so that was one expensive cab ride.” He whistles lowly, rocking back and forth from heel to toe, and Jeno furrows his brows. </p><p>“Isn’t there anyone you could’ve called to go get you?” </p><p>Jaemin shakes his head, a polite smile on his face, “All my old friends hate me now after what happened between us.” </p><p>Jeno’s eye twitches. “I don’t think they hate you…” </p><p>“Well, no matter, I’m here now!” he says cheerily, and it must be exhausting pretending to be that happy. Jeno can still remember that exact look in his eyes, completely dead to the world with a smile on his face. “I have a job interview I gotta prepare for, so see you round.” </p><p>“Yeah, good luck,” Jeno calls after him without thinking, unsure if Jaemin even heard him as he walks away. </p><p>He watches him go - Jaemin is much taller than when he left, his legs are longer and considerably more toned; perks of being a professional dancer he supposes. Where he was a skittish teenager before, he now walks with purpose, with a lazy confidence that Jaemin had always possessed under the surface since kindergarten. He’s much broader too, his shoulders and chest filling out his bomber jacket nicely, with an undeniably handsome face to boot. The butterfly strips are gone from his nose, but there’s still a faint scratch there that only accentuates the gentle slope of his nose, his eyelashes long and dark and casting shadows on his cheeks. Jaemin has grown up since he’s been gone, and maybe it’s time Jeno did too. </p><p>🐺</p><p>“Wait, so, tell me again what happened?” Donghyuck drawls, a new beer in his hand and Yukhei’s chin hooked over his shoulder. Jeno glances nervously at the spindly legs of the barstool, unsure if it can really hold the weight of both Donghyuck and his lightweight boyfriend leaning on him. </p><p>“Yeah, I was in the bathroom for the first half,” Renjun chimes in, sitting between Donghyuck and Jeno, Hyuck’s hand sturdy on his thigh. </p><p>Jeno sighs, glances up at the TV behind the bar showing a pool game, and looks back to the three curious faces before him. </p><p>“Tuesday night I’d just clocked out and I found him bleeding out in the parking lot. Obviously, I called an ambulance, and Wednesday morning I went to visit him since they’d put him in the South Andong hospital - that’s really all there is to it.” </p><p>“Woah, woah, slow down,” Renjun frowns, the most sober of the four of them, “Bleeding out?” </p><p>“I think he was in a fight,” Jeno lies, “Clearly he lost.” </p><p>Donghyuck splutters on a laugh, “You didn’t ask him how it happened?” </p><p>“No, I was too busy giving him first aid and then in the hospital we just argued.” He folds his arms, done with this talking point now, he came to the bar to forget about Jaemin, not talk about him. </p><p>“Jen,” Renjun says gently but firmly, “You brought this up, of course we’re going to ask questions.” </p><p>“Sorry, it’s just weird seeing him back here again,” Jeno mumbles, rocking his half empty bottle on the bartop before taking a sip, the beer now lukewarm from the heaters being turned up so high. </p><p>“I bet,” Donghyuck muses, turning to check on Yukhei, and Jeno watches as he gently pushes his bangs off his forehead, murmuring something to Yukhei that makes his eyes slip closed as Donghyuck continues to card his fingers through his hair. It’s such a sweet gesture, and Renjun leans back to check on him too, taking Yukhei’s hand from where it rests on Donghyuck’s waist and bringing it up to press a kiss to his knuckles. </p><p>Renjun has a dopey smile on his face when he turns back around, one that he wouldn’t let anyone except his boyfriends see when he’s not tipsy, and Jeno’s heart aches for someone to look at him like that too. </p><p>“So where’s Jaemin staying?” Renjun asks, Jeno snapping his gaze away from the two behind him as Donghyuck starts laying gentle kisses on Yukhei’s cheeks - he doesn’t need to see that. </p><p>“Dunno,” Jeno shrugs, “Maybe a hotel?” </p><p>“Damn you really did just fight, huh?” Renjun places a sympathetic hand on his shoulder, offering him a gentle smile.</p><p>Jeno was really banking on his best friends being a little more sympathetic to him when he brought up Jaemin - at least he would’ve been able to complain about the way he left again, how he fucked Jeno over. </p><p>“How come you guys like Jaemin now?” he whines, the alcohol setting in as he takes another swig from his bottle. </p><p>“He was our best friend too,” Donghyuck huffs, and Jeno simply stares down at the scuffed wood of the bartop, listening, “And it’s been three years, Jen, I couldn’t hold onto all that anger for that long.” </p><p>Jeno presses his lips tightly together, not ready to look Donghyuck in the eye as his head spins with too many thoughts and questions to count. </p><p>“Why are you mad at Jaemin?” Yukhei says, audibly drunk, and Jeno whips his head up. </p><p>“You know why, hyung,” he sighs, downing the last few dregs of his beer. </p><p>“No, tell me?” Yukhei whines, pouting like a child, and Jeno can’t be mad at him, not when he’s nuzzling his cheek into Donghyuck’s shoulder, his eyelids heavy but expression entirely determined to hear Jeno’s answer. </p><p>“Because—” he begins, “Because, he— Jaemin — he always— He’s—” </p><p>His mind draws a blank. Impossible. He hates Jaemin for what he did to him, but in trying to sum up why he’s upset with him still, no <em>good reason</em> comes to mind. The only thing he’s felt towards Jaemin in three years is hatred, but Jeno’s words die in his throat as he really thinks about the boy, his caring heart, his cheerful smile, his intuitive wisdom. </p><p>“If…” he starts, shaking his head as if to manually reboot his brain, “If you hated someone, and you happened to run into them in a store, would you go up and talk to them?” </p><p>He looks over to his friends cautiously, their faces filled with surprise and <em>so </em>many questions, and the response is a resounding no. </p><p>“Huh…” Jeno muses, and just as he’s about to elaborate, Yukhei makes a gagging noise like he’s about to throw up, and his boyfriends leap up from their seats. </p><p>“Okay, that’s enough big boy, I think we’re walking home. You need some fresh air,” Renjun fusses, scrambling to wrap an arm around his waist and help Yukhei stagger to his feet. </p><p>“You okay?” Donghyuck asks Jeno, wincing as Yukhei stumbles and leans his full weight against him, “We’ll walk you home if you like?” </p><p>“Yeah, thanks,” Jeno smiles politely, “You’ll need my help anyway if this one passes out on the sidewalk.” </p><p>“I’m not that drunk,” Yukhei drawls, giggling, and Renjun and Donghyuck roll their eyes in unison. </p><p>🐺</p><p>That night, Jaemin runs through his mind non stop as Jeno stares blankly up at his bedroom ceiling. He had crawled straight into bed after saying goodnight to his friends, with promises to grab a drink again sometime soon, but Jaemin refuses to let him sleep, immortalised in his memories just how he was the night Jeno found him - the pain-drunk smile on his face tinged with relief. </p><p>Jaemin was pleased to see him - he realises. Not to be home, not to be getting medical help, pleased to see<em> Jeno. </em></p><p>Mrs Na is there in his memories too, and Jeno cries for her, wishes he could’ve gone to her funeral and been there for her family after she passed. She was wary of Jeno’s genes, he’d always sensed it, but she was never unkind to him for being half werewolf, just very protective of Jaemin - oddly so. They needed each other, her and Jaemin, always needing to know where the other was and then calculating how long it would take them to reach the other at any given moment. Jaemin’s father, although more accepting of the whole halfblood-thing, had the same defensive issues, and Jeno vividly remembers how he had shouted until his face turned blue when he and Jaemin had once, at age eight, found their way into a locked room in his house which contained only a bronze dragon encased in bulletproof glass. </p><p>Jeno rolls over and takes his phone from his nightstand to scroll through his contacts, he breathes a sigh of relief as Mr Na is still saved there next to Jaemin’s mother’s mobile number, and he decides to call him first thing in the morning to check up on him. He was like a real father to Jeno for his entire childhood, he even taught him how to drive, and guilt suddenly washes over him for not thinking to contact him even once after Jaemin left. </p><p>The memory of that day still makes Jeno’s heart ache, his mom had gently offered to drive him over an hour to Daegu airport to say goodbye, but instead Jeno had walked to the archery centre and shot arrow after arrow into the bullseye all day long until his hands were raw and blistered. </p><p>Their fight had happened a week prior to the flight on the first day of summer vacation, when the heat had baked the concrete in Jaemin’s front yard until it was rock hard. It had grazed the skin off his palms when Jeno pushed him and he fell to the ground, and he’ll never forget the look in Jaemin’s eyes as he stared between Jeno and the blood beading on his hands. He watched Jaemin’s heart break, and Jeno didn’t stop him when he got to his feet and raised his fist, tears in his eyes and his teeth gritted in anger as he swung, and punched Jeno square in the jaw. </p><p>His parents had to pull them apart as soon as they heard the commotion, dragging Jaemin inside as they continued to scream at each other, and that was the last Jeno saw of him - yelling and crying and broken. </p><p>🐺</p><p>Jeno jolts awake to his phone ringing, buried under the comforter, and he fishes for it blindly. </p><p>“Hello?” he croaks down the line, cracking his eyes open. There are dried tears on his face and he doesn’t even remember falling asleep, but his neck and shoulders kill from sleeping on his front for too long. </p><p>“Morning sunshine,” Renjun laughs, and Jeno drags himself upright in bed, his eyes still adjusting to the sunlight pouring in through his window - he forgot to close the shitting blinds last night. </p><p>“Renjun?” He breaks off into a yawn, and Renjun laughs again, “What’s up?” </p><p>“I’m bored on my break and you weren’t answering my texts!” he whines childishly. </p><p>“Your break? Shit, what time is it?” </p><p>“Uhhhh,” Renjun pauses, “Almost 11, so—” </p><p><em>“Shit!”</em> Jeno scrambles to his feet, grabbing whatever clean clothes he can find and tossing them into his tiny bathroom. “My shift starts in less than an hour, sorry, I gotta go.” </p><p>“So much for asking me about my day,” Renjun jokes, and Jeno can <em>hear</em> him rolling his eyes on the other end of the line, “Go on, don’t be late.” </p><p>“Thanks, Junnie,” Jeno sighs, turning the squeaky shower dial and letting the water heat up. Looks like it’ll have to be a protein shake for breakfast again at this rate. “I’ll call you later, yeah?” </p><p>“Please do before I hit the next shitty customer with the closest blunt instrument,” he says with a theatrical sob, and Jeno laughs, promising to call him back later before jumping in the shower. </p><p>Shower, check, dressed, check, breakfast, check - Jeno runs through the list in his head as he locks the front door. He pats the pocket of his jacket, and of course, no filler. Jeno remembers now, he rolled the last of it earlier in the week, and the longer he thinks about it the more he <em>really</em> wants a cigarette. Fuck it, there’s time to run to the convenience store before his shift starts, but only just. </p><p>He’s running late, he doesn’t have time for this, doesn’t want to think about him again, but Jaemin is standing behind the counter of the convenience store, and Jeno wants to scream. </p><p>Everything was good when Jaemin was gone, because Jeno didn’t have to think about anything. He didn’t have to think if he did the right thing, or if he missed Jaemin, or if Jaemin missed him. Jaemin was gone, end of story, nothing he could do would bring him back, so there was no point thinking about those things, no point in regretting. He simply wrung his heart out like a wet rag to erase Jaemin from it, hated him so much that he didn’t need to unpack any of it, just tied everything up in a neat little bow and hurled it off a cliff. Jaemin makes him <em>feel, </em>and Jeno just wants to be numb again like the past three years - no thoughts, no feelings, and no Jaemin. </p><p>“Hi,” Jaemin says, breathing life into Jeno as he stands frozen in front of the counter, but he doesn’t want it, doesn’t want Jaemin to wake him up from his colourless life if being awake means he feels this guilty. </p><p>“Uh,” Jeno starts, “Thirty grams of Amber Leaf, please.” </p><p>Jaemin leans on the counter, licks his upper lip and cracks a smile like he can’t believe what he’s seeing. “Whatever happened to <em>‘Jaemin, those things will kill you’</em>?” Jeno doesn’t know what to say, yeah he used to be a stickler for the rules, people change. “You’re a nurse, what do your coworkers think?” </p><p>“They don’t care,” Jeno shrugs, tapping his debit card impatiently against the counter as Jaemin turns to take a packet of loose tobacco from the locked cabinet behind him. </p><p>“Do <em>you</em> care?” Jaemin says, more gently this time, and it can’t be an accident that it comes out like <em>‘I care about you’. </em></p><p>“I don’t know, Jaemin, not really. I’m kind of running late here…” </p><p>There’s a pause, and it feels so surreal to have a conversation with Jaemin again, like he’s a figment of Jeno’s imagination that could vanish at any moment. </p><p>“We’re not so different, you know?” Jaemin hums, ringing him up, “I may have changed while I was away, but you’ve changed too, Jeno.” He doesn’t look up as he speaks, nimble fingers working the till and long eyelashes practically brushing his cheeks - <em>pretty.</em> “When you really think about it, we’re more alike than ever.” </p><p>He plucks Jeno’s card from between his fingers, swiping it and handing over his filler with a polite smile before Jeno can catch up. </p><p>“You’re going to be late,” Jaemin says after a beat of stunned silence. </p><p>“Uh, oh shit, yeah,” Jeno replies, back in the room, “Thanks, and uhh, good job on getting hired.” </p><p>He doesn’t dare look Jaemin in the eye, and their fingers brush as he takes his card back. </p><p>“Thank you, see you round, Jeno Lee,” Jaemin calls after him, rolling his tongue over Jeno’s name in an exaggerated American accent, and Jeno sprints back to his car. </p><p>🐺</p><p>He’s painfully distracted at work, his eyes keep glazing over, making stupid mistakes by spelling names wrong and falling over his words on the phone, filing mail into the wrong pigeon holes, packing away new stock incorrectly. Maybe it’s because he’s only got a protein shake and tobacco in his system, but his heart won’t stop pounding, his fingers shaking as the inexplicable sense of anticipation builds, and every patient that walks through the door makes him jump. </p><p><em>Fuck you, Jaemin,</em> he says to himself every time he finds his mind drifting, because of <em>course</em> it’s Jaemin doing this to him. First he leaves, then he comes back to stir the pot, and now he won’t even let Jeno do his job in peace, making his head pound from all the memories he brings back up - good and bad ones. Jeno wishes he didn’t care, wishes he could just stop re-evaluating every decision he’s ever made about Jaemin, but he can’t. He can’t stop caring, it’s in his blood, and deep down he knows Jaemin is still part of his pack, he’s just not ready to admit it to himself. </p><p>It’s when he has to run to hand in repeat prescriptions at the pharmacy window before they close, does he get pulled up by Eunyoung, a senior nurse. </p><p>“Jeno-ya,” she sighs, her tone stern yet understanding, like she knows that Jeno knows he’s not doing his best. “Why don’t you take your afternoon break, clear your head.” </p><p>“Sorry, I— I didn’t sleep very well last night.” He scratches the back of his head, “I’ll be back in five minutes.” </p><p>“Make it twenty, I’ll cover for you.” Eunyoung’s lips twitch up to flash him a quick smile, and Jeno bows graciously before fetching his car keys from his desk drawer. </p><p>He keeps it together as he walks calmly out through the reception area, holding the door open for a boy on crutches, and the wind cuts straight through his tunic as he steps out into the parking lot, even with a white long-sleeved shirt layered underneath it. Crossing the asphalt, his steps quicken, and once he’s out of sight of the windows, he breaks out into a sprint to his car. This is so stupid - Jeno knows it - but he has to do this, and he crosses town with his knuckles white on the steering wheel until he’s parked up outside his apartment, front wheel on the kerb. </p><p>Jaemin is alone in the convenience store when Jeno bursts through the door, his heart in his throat as he approaches the counter, Jaemin’s eyes wide with shock and arms drawn into his chest. </p><p>“I know this is stupid—” Jeno pants, glancing at his watch, he’s got thirteen minutes, “And this is unexpected, but I— I just couldn’t stop worrying about it and it was driving me insane and—” </p><p>He pauses to try and catch his breath, swallowing thickly, and Jaemin stares at him like he’s one of the poor birds Jeno’s cats bring home from the yard. “Jeno, what’s going on?” he asks, and the worry in his voice feels like a stake through the heart. </p><p>“Where are you living right now?” he asks before he can stop the words tumbling from his mouth. </p><p>“What—?” </p><p>“Just tell me,” Jeno breathes, “Please?” </p><p>“Here, in the back— Jeno— Why? What’s going on?” </p><p>He’s not angry, eyebrows pinched together with concern and Jeno feels like he’s about to pass out, he just can’t get his breath back, but he has to offer. Jeno knows the owner well enough to know that he’s not a trustworthy guy, Jeno visits often enough to see how hard he works his staff while he sits in the back and counts his money over and over again. </p><p>“Come stay with me?” </p><p><em>“What? </em>Jeno, if you don’t tell me what’s going on right now I swear to god—” Jaemin grips the side of the counter, leaning over it, tipping towards Jeno, and this is the closest they’ve physically been in years. </p><p>He has to tell him - explain that he can’t bear to see Jaemin fall the same way he did, can’t stand the thought of Jaemin returning home from America only to be utterly alone, sleeping in the back of a convenience store where the owner would pickpocket him without hesitation. Sure Jaemin is here now, but who knows how long he’ll stay in one place, and it could be that their paths would never cross again. Jaemin could leave this job tomorrow and Jeno would have no way to contact him, to know if he’s okay. No, he has to step in and do something before the fates take Jaemin away from him again, he can’t lose him a second time, not when he makes Jeno feel this alive. </p><p>There’s so much he has to say, but if he’s not back at his desk in the next nine minutes he’ll be in a disciplinary meeting before the end of the week. </p><p>“I can’t explain everything right now but—” He leans over and grabs a scrap of paper and a pencil from under Jaemin’s arm, scribbling down his phone number. The warming citrus scent of his cologne is so comforting at this proximity, and Jaemin has been doodling flowers at the top of the page; tulips, the younger’s favourite. “Just— call me? Please, Jaemin?” </p><p>“Okay,” Jaemin breathes, nodding worriedly, “Okay, I’ll call you.” </p><p>“Thank you,” Jeno smiles, relief washing over him, and he takes off again for the door. “My shift finishes at eight!” he calls over his shoulder, letting the door swing shut behind him as he jogs back to his car. </p><p>🐺</p><p>Jaemin does call him, and he listens while Jeno explains himself, albeit very clumsily, struggling to find the right words to justify why he cares all of a sudden. Truth be told, Jeno doesn’t really know the reason himself, he just knows that his gut tells him to sink his teeth into Jaemin (metaphorically) and never let go, and this time he’s going to listen. </p><p>“Are you sure?” Jaemin asks, doubtful, “What are you gonna do for rent?” </p><p>Jeno paces up his narrow kitchen, “I wouldn’t expect you to pay rent but we can split the utility bills, and you buy your own food.” </p><p>“Okay…” He still doesn’t sound convinced, “Where would I sleep?” </p><p>“I have a sofabed. The only people that ever visit are Renjun, Yukhei-hyung and Hyuck so they won’t mind you being there.” </p><p>“Mhmm,” Jaemin hums, and Jeno grinds his teeth nervously, impatiently - and Jaemin’s voice is so deep through the phone. “What about if you bring boys over, where am I supposed to go?” </p><p>Jeno blushes, “I don’t… I don’t have the time for dating, Jaemin, I- I’m too busy with work.” </p><p>It’s true - but he omits the fact that he’s not been interested in getting that close to anyone again since Jaemin left. Yeah he’s had hookups, plenty of them, but never anything more, not ready to trust anyone with his heart again. </p><p>“Pfft,” Jaemin scoffs, “That’s just code for ‘I can’t get any’.” </p><p>He can hear the grin in his voice, and Jeno clucks his tongue in annoyance. “What about you? There’s no way you’re bringing anyone back to my apartment.” </p><p>“I thought it was <em>our</em> apartment,” Jaemin whines, and Jeno could punch him right now. “But fine, fine, I promise I won’t fuck anyone on your sacred sofabed.” </p><p>“Not <em>anywhere </em>in the building, Jaemin, understand?” he replies firmly, squashing the image of Jaemin getting hot and heavy with someone in any other place in the apartment just to mess with him. </p><p>“Jesus, <em>okay! </em>I won’t pass first base within those four walls.” </p><p>“Thank you,” Jeno sighs, exasperated, and runs a hand through his hair. There’s a pause, and for a moment he’s scared Jaemin hung up on him. </p><p>“Do you have cable?” </p><p>“Yeah, came with the flat.” </p><p>“Then I’m in,” Jaemin says, “You have my number now, so text me the address and I’ll come take a look around tomorrow.” </p><p>“Okay,” Jeno replies distantly, still a little stunned that he actually said yes. </p><p>“Oh, also, I’ll bring bubble tea, you still get mango, right? Large size, aloe vera jelly, no ice and normal sugar, yeah?” </p><p>“Yeah…” he breathes, “Same as always.” </p><p>“Same old Jeno,” Jaemin laughs, “Alright, bye wolfie.” </p><p>The line goes dead and Jeno lets out a quiet, choked noise, before he mutters, “Wolfie…” tasting the name as it rolls over his tongue, and he doesn’t hate it, not when Jaemin says it in that saccharine sweet voice. </p><p>He finds himself standing in that exact same spot, leaning on the kitchen counter an hour later when his friends show up for a <em>very</em> late dinner. Donghyuck brought back leftovers from the swanky restaurant he works at, and even though they all know the three of them could scrape clean every takeaway container between them, they chose to share it all with Jeno. </p><p>“Hyung, can’t you make Hyuck change?” Jeno groans for the third time in ten minutes as they divide the mountain of food onto four plates in the kitchen, Renjun and Donghyuck laughing loudly over something in the lounge. </p><p>“We both know Renjun would never let that happen,” Yukhei sighs, a dreamy smile on his face, and Jeno glances over his shoulder again and… yep, Renjun is in Donghyuck’s lap. </p><p>“What is it with him and that fucking busboy uniform?” he grumbles, pouring four large glasses of soda. </p><p>“I think it’s how it fits over his shoulders,” Yukhei replies with a sheepish smile, and Jeno doesn’t want to know what that smile means. “And his hips.” </p><p>“Okay, we’re done here!” Jeno announces, picking up two plates, and he hears the shuffling of Yukhei’s footsteps following him as he leaves the kitchen. </p><p>Renjun slides off Donghyuck’s lap with a giggle to set up the collapsable table tucked down the side of Jeno’s couch, and Jeno turns his glaring to Donghyuck when he reaches over and smacks Renjun’s ass. </p><p>“God, you three are like russian dolls,” he complains, setting down the plates on the low table. </p><p>“Huh?” Renjun and Donghyuck say in unison, sorting all the king prawns onto one plate since they’re Yukhei’s favourite. </p><p>“You’re always inside each other.” </p><p>The food is so good, and the company is even better, both leaving a warmth in Jeno’s chest as the night goes on and they bring out the six pack of beers in the fridge. That’s when he leans back on his hands, neck floppy and head too fuzzy to care all that much about Renjun pushing his tongue down Donghyuck’s throat not even six feet away from him. </p><p>“Guys come on, get a room,” he groans. They’ve been together for a year now and he’s starting to give up hope that their honeymoon phase is ever going to end. </p><p>“Shhhh,” Donghyuck giggles drunkenly, but he pushes Renjun away and flops across Yukhei’s lap instead. “This is what you get for setting us up.” </p><p>“That’s not fair,” Jeno retorts, kicking Donghyuck under the table, “Organising two blind dates because I was sick of watching you moping around doesn’t mean that I want to see you making out on the rug from my childhood bedroom.” </p><p>“We’re not making out,” Renjun says indignantly. </p><p>“Not yet, anyway,” Yukhei winks, and he and Renjun high five each other. </p><p>“Whatever!” he laughs, stealing a dumpling off Yukhei’s plate. “At least you can’t do this exhibitionist shit anymore once Jaemin’s here.” </p><p>Three heads whip up to stare at him in various degrees of shock and confusion. Shit. </p><p>“Jaemin is living with you?!” Donghyuck shrieks not thirty seconds later when the truth is extracted from him by dropping crushed ice down his shirt. </p><p>“Yeah, he was sleeping behind the counter at the convenience store so I said he could stay here.” Jeno sits up on his knees to shake the last of the ice out of his clothes. </p><p>Yukhei wolf whistles at him, and Jeno tosses a handful of ice in his direction. “Not like that, hyung! This is a sofabed, and it’ll just be until he’s settled enough to find somewhere permanent.” </p><p>That last part isn’t strictly true, they discussed no such timescale, but Jeno makes a mental note to speak to Jaemin about it tomorrow. For all he knows, Jaemin could be going back to the US next week anyway. </p><p>“What happened to you hating him?” Donghyuck asks, suddenly much more sober. </p><p>Jeno takes a deep breath, “I thought about what you said, and maybe I could’ve been a little kinder to him after all these years.” </p><p>“Oh, Jen…” Donghyuck coos, shuffling over to wrap an arm around his shoulders. The apartment is completely silent as they let him continue, Yukhei taking his hand and squeezing it supportively. </p><p>“He…” he inhales sharply, choked up, “He might’ve died that night if it wasn’t for me, if I hadn’t found him. I just keep thinking… I don’t know why he came back, but selfishly—” </p><p>He breaks off into a sob, and Renjun swoops in with kleenex to dab his eyes, “Hey, hey, you’re not selfish, it’s okay.” </p><p>“Selfishly,” he continues, throat tightening, “I feel like this is my opportunity to give him a second chance.” </p><p>He glances at his best friends’ faces, and Yukhei looks like he’s about to cry too, all of them nodding gently. </p><p>“You don’t have to give him another chance if you don’t want to,” Donghyuck says, squeezing his shoulder, and Jeno leans into the touch. </p><p>“I know,” he sighs shakily, wiping his tears with the back of his hand, “But I do want to. We’ve both changed so much, and it was a stupid thing to fight over anyway,” he says bitterly. “He’s still Jaemin but he just feels… different. Like every time he looks at me, I feel like he needs me - more than he ever did before.” </p><p>His chest <em>aches</em> with the effort of keeping his breaths even, so at last he gives in and lets the tears go. </p><p>“I just want him back, Hyuck. I— I want him back.” </p><p>🐺</p><p>Jaemin isn’t mentioned again until a few hours later, when Jeno has cried himself out, but still feels like shit, and Donghyuck offers to stay the night as his closest friend. </p><p>Renjun and Yukhei hug him goodbye at the door, and they kiss Donghyuck goodnight, leaving them to pile all the pillows and blankets into Jeno’s bed. </p><p>It’s only midnight, but Jeno is exhausted, and the comfort of Donghyuck lying next to him helps put his mind at ease. </p><p>“Sorry I cockblocked you,” he says quietly, unsure if Donghyuck is even awake. </p><p>“Don’t worry about that,” Donghyuck replies, sounding half asleep himself, “I couldn’t just go home and leave you like this. In fact, you should be relieved the others even agreed to go back, otherwise there’d be four of us in this bed tonight, and Yukhei snores like you wouldn’t believe.” </p><p>“Thanks, Hyuck,” Jeno laughs softly, running his fingers over the plush blanket thrown over their chests. </p><p>After a moment of comfortable silence, he speaks again. “Why couldn’t I just be human?” </p><p>“‘Cause your mom was too kinky?” Donghyuck jokes, and Jeno shoves him. </p><p>“Not funny,” he grumbles, trying to quiet the amused shaking of his shoulders. </p><p>“Then why are you laughing?” Hyuck teases, and Jeno bats him again, a subconscious smile creeping onto his face. “No but Jen, for real, being fully human isn’t perfect either. We can be so selfish and cowardly, only looking out for ourselves and no one else - but for you, helping others is in your blood.” </p><p>“I suppose…” He rolls his head on the pillow, watching the snow fall outside through a crack in the curtains, the whole street bathed in an orange glow. “I just wish it didn’t make me hold grudges like that.” </p><p>“You just needed some time, is all. Look, you can’t change the past now, but you’re seeing Jaemin tomorrow, so why not take every opportunity to earn his trust back from now on?” </p><p>“What if I’m too late?” he whispers, taking fistfuls of the comforter and squeezing, “What if I can’t fix things?” </p><p>“D’you really think Jaemin would be letting you back into his life if he didn’t want you to be there, too?” </p><p>🐺</p><p>
  <em>February 19th 2021</em>
</p><p>Soft music, fried food, smell of sweat, pink toothbrush, no socks, whistling, extension cord trip hazard, new cologne. </p><p>It’s a little scary how fast Jeno adjusts to all the little marks Jaemin leaves around the apartment to show he’s there, whether he means to leave them or not. It’s only been a week and already he’s stopped batting an eye when he comes home and there’s American R&amp;B filtering through from the kitchen, riding on the waves of the scent of whatever Jaemin is making himself for dinner. Sometimes he gives Jeno the leftovers; not verbally, he just grunts and gestures to the new tupperware on Jeno’s shelf in the fridge. </p><p>He always brushes his teeth at the same time in the morning, regardless of if Jeno’s still in bed, having to scramble to pull the covers over his bare chest as Jaemin pads through to the bathroom. </p><p>“Why do you always do that?” Jaemin says on the morning of their eighth day as roommates, his voice thick with sleep. </p><p>“Do what?” Jeno mumbles, smacking his lips and rolling over in bed to face the bathroom, comforter held close to his body. </p><p>“Watch me like that.” He spits toothpaste into the sink and Jeno suddenly becomes aware of how his eyes follow his every movement. </p><p>“Sorry,” he replies, “I like people-watching… Remember when you used to yell at me for doing that?” </p><p>Jaemin huffs out a laugh, a little strained-sounding from the awkward tension that still hangs over them. “Yeah, it’s crazy what you get mad about when you’re eleven and have no frame of reference.” </p><p>Jeno can’t tell if that’s a deliberate jab at him, but he says nothing under the guise of sleepiness, watching with lazy curiosity as Jaemin flosses his teeth. </p><p>He could probably write Jaemin’s biography now from all the small conversations they've had in the three minutes it takes the kettle to boil, or in the commercial breaks interrupting a TV movie, to name a few examples. </p><p>Jaemin’s dad is still in America, Miami to be exact, he’s started his own recruiting agency for singers, dancers and actors, and sets them up with record labels, dance crews and studios. He was really understanding when Jaemin had left his dance crew after his mom passed, but Jaemin felt too much pressure to get back into it with his dad now being in the industry too. Jaemin had danced with them for nearly two years, touring the US together and starring in many music videos and live performances - and if Jeno stayed up until 4AM watching all of them, Jaemin doesn’t need to know. </p><p>He was in Dallas when his mom got sick, and Jaemin returned home immediately to take care of her every day until she passed very suddenly. Jaemin told him about his mom one night when he was high, off his face on ketamine with his words slurring together and an expression so solemn it gave Jeno chills. Jeno managed to hold it together until he excused himself to the bathroom, where he broke down, hand over his mouth to muffle his sobs, and when he came back, eyes puffy and red, Jaemin was passed out on the couch. </p><p>For a few months, Jaemin had tried to work in a sports apparel store in Miami, but it didn’t work out. He never says why he decided to come back to Yecheon, only that it was a mutual decision with his father, and he was back indefinitely. </p><p>
  <em>Indefinitely. </em>
</p><p>Jeno doesn’t know how to feel about that, all his emotions swirling together in a big, bubbling pot of stew until he can’t untangle them from each other anymore. </p><p>🐺 </p><p>“Does it bother you that I use?” Jaemin asks carefully on Day Ten - a Friday. Neither of them have another shift until Sunday, and Jeno has a book on midwifery balanced in his lap as he sits on the end of his bed, watching Jaemin play video games using his PC. </p><p>“No,” he replies, flipping the page, “Should it?” </p><p>Jaemin exits out of PUBG and opens up Solitaire. “Nah, I don’t really use that often anymore. I was just thinking about how the Jeno I knew three years ago would take me straight to the cops for even <em>implying</em> I knew where to buy weed.” </p><p>“I don’t care about that stuff anymore, Jaemin,” he sighs, eyes glued to his book, “There are things that are legal that can do you way more harm.” </p><p>“That’s very progressive of you,” Jaemin quips, “What changed?” </p><p>“I grew up, I guess, stopped caring about being a teacher’s pet and started caring about the people around me.” </p><p>The elephant in the room has grown so large now that Jeno can feel it stepping on his toes. The people around him did once include Jaemin - and look how that turned out. God, Jaemin probably thinks that Jeno considers him just as a tool for his own personal growth, when that couldn’t be further from the truth. </p><p>“Look, Jaemin…” He takes a deep breath, but— no, he can’t do this. Not yet, not now. “Me and the guys are going to the bar tonight, do you wanna come with?” </p><p>Jaemin freezes, his hand on the mouse stilling, “You sure? I wouldn’t want to impose…” </p><p>He suddenly looks so small in Jeno’s gaming chair, one knee tucked into his chest with his oversized t-shirt draping over him like a blanket, legs bare from the mid-thigh down. </p><p>“Don’t be silly,” Jeno laughs, but it just comes out awkward, “They’d love to see you.” </p><p>“Then I’ll be there,” Jaemin says, a smile in his voice, and he glances over his shoulder, eyes landing on the book. “‘You planning to specialise?” </p><p>“Maybe,” he hums, “I’m just looking into my options.” </p><p>“In childbirth? That sounds…” Jaemin shudders dramatically, starting a new game, “Traumatic.” </p><p>“Hey! Giving life is a beautiful thing, and—” He cuts himself off when he flips the page to some pretty grizzly photographs. So much blood— “Okay, maybe that’s enough of that for today.” </p><p>Jaemin laughs, bright and genuine, and Jeno realises he hasn’t heard him laugh properly in almost three years. God… </p><p>“What about pediatrics? You were always really good with kids.” </p><p>Huh. “I… Hadn’t really considered it before.” He scratches the nape of his neck, placing the book back on its shelf. </p><p>“Well, you should!” Jaemin smiles, still with his back to Jeno, “Remember the nursery we used to volunteer at? They loved you, Jeno, I don’t think there’s a kid on earth that wouldn’t love you.” </p><p>“I’m not a good role model for them,” he mumbles, so quiet he’s surprised Jaemin hears it. </p><p>“Bullshit, what makes you think that?” </p><p>This… this is too much. </p><p>All of it, it’s just so much with Jaemin being back and making him remember <em>everything</em> each time Jeno looks at him. That neat little box Jeno had packed everything away in is slowly becoming unwrapped, and as much as he scrabbles to push it all back in again, it just spews out even faster. Every time Jaemin speaks, he’s reminded of how much his voice has changed; every childhood memory he brings up, it’s a memory Jeno had spent so long trying to erase. He thought he could handle it, thought he could do right by Jaemin this time and just <em>grow up.</em> </p><p>He’s not numb anymore and it’s fucking terrifying, because every time Jaemin looks at him, it makes him regret throwing this all away. And for what? Some stupid university that he probably would’ve hated attending anyway? Not for his reputation either, no one ever found out about what Jaemin did, and even if they did, who would care? For his pride? Hah! Nothing about how he handled the situation was anything to be proud of. </p><p>No, Jeno knows the real reason, and he’s always known it, just could never fucking admit it to himself, could never admit it was all one big moral grey area. </p><p>He hates Jaemin so he has someone to hate other than himself. </p><p>God - it’s all becoming clear now. Maybe Hyuck was right about Jaemin wanting to let him back in, but chances are, in all those years where Jeno was locking himself in an echo chamber of self-assurance, he was giving Jaemin even more reason to believe that he just didn’t care. </p><p>The world seems to come crashing down around him, ripping his bedroom apart and breaking him from the inside out as Jaemin stares at him like he can see right through him. No. No, no, no, Jaemin shouldn’t see his heart like this anymore, shouldn’t be able to read him like an open book, because Jeno isn’t ready to let him back in again. He can’t keep doing this, can’t keep being eaten alive by regret with every passing second Jaemin is here, he has to get out. </p><p>Jeno could slap himself, has he not learnt anything? There’s no running away from this; Jaemin flew to the other side of the world, for fuck’s sake, and <em>still</em> Jeno’s not been able to escape the grave that he dug for himself. For years, he’s been sitting at the bottom of the pit - numb, dead - waiting for something to bring him back to life again, but he can see now that the only way out is to climb headfirst through all the pain, all the hurt. It was naive of him to <em>ever</em> think he could get back to the surface without facing up to how he got down here in the first place.  </p><p>How did he let this happen…? </p><p>His head pounds - the dam he had built to hold three years of pent-up guilt and regret has suddenly burst, sweeping him up in its current and tearing him apart. He was wrong, he was so, so wrong to burn every bridge between Jaemin and himself. Jaemin is his pack, Jaemin is his <em>family, </em>and he threw it all away because he was weak, and a coward, and nothing like the werewolf blood that pumps through his veins. He’ll never be like them, stuck in the intersection of too wolfy to be accepted by humans, and too human to be respected by other wolves. </p><p>All of these thoughts pass through his head in a matter of seconds while Jaemin, blissfully unaware, waits for Jeno to answer a question which would require him to explain all of this to him. <em>I can never be a good role model, Jaemin, because I broke your heart and cut you off for no good reason. </em>What the fuck, Lee Jeno? </p><p>“I— Sorry, I— I have a headache, I forgot what we were talking about.” </p><p>“Jeno, it’s okay—” </p><p>“That reminds me! I ran out of ibuprofen so I’m gonna— I’m gonna go get some for my head, so if you want anything from the store, just— just, uhhhh—” </p><p>He grabs his phone, his wallet, his jacket, and Jaemin follows him wordlessly from the bedroom to the lounge, where he slips on a pair of beaten up Vans, too out of it to tie up shoelaces right now. </p><p>“Jeno?” </p><p>He swipes his car keys from the hook near the door, right beside Jaemin’s set of house keys. </p><p>“Hey, Jeno, wait!—” </p><p>The door closes behind him and Jaemin doesn’t follow, he at least lets Jeno keep the shred of dignity he has left as he drives out into the middle of nowhere, pulls up on the side of the road and <em>breaks. </em>There’s no one around for miles to hear him scream, pained and guttural, as he slams the car door shut and throws his body against it, kicking at the tyres until pain blooms white-hot across his shins. He picks up a rock by his feet and hurls it into the forest, hearing the echoing crack of it ricocheting off the trees, and he falls to his knees and sobs in the dirt. </p><p>When he picks himself back up again, Jeno has no idea how much time has passed, and he slips into the driver’s seat, exhausted, lighting up a cigarette with shaky fingers. He watches the body of smoke float away as he exhales; twisting, flowing around itself and drifting up into the wide expanse of sky, bracketed by the conifer trees all around him. There’s the distant swishing sound of traffic on the main road back into town, and Jeno kicks his feet in the dirt, resting his elbows on his knees with the car door wide open. All around him is the sharp, refreshing scent of pine, and the only clear sounds are the calls of birds that make this place their home. </p><p>He takes it all in, filling his lungs with crisp, fresh air, and puts out his half-finished cigarette in the cupholder. The dirt brushes out of his sweats easily, and Jeno rubs his sore legs gently before swinging them into the footwell and starting his car. </p><p>🐺</p><p>“Hey, feel better now?” Jaemin smiles gently, poking his head out from the kitchen. </p><p>Jeno toes off his shoes by the front door, returning a small smile, and leaves the blister pack of painkillers and bottle of Gatorade on the couch as he shuffles into the kitchen. </p><p>“Don’t say anything,” he mumbles, sidling up to Jaemin, his hands in the washing up bowl. </p><p>Maybe he’s a little selfish for seeking comfort in Jaemin like this, but he’s cried himself stupid and all he needs right now is the reassurance of physical touch. So he sighs quietly as he reaches Jaemin’s side and tentatively bumps their shoulders together, eyes slipping closed as he leans his head on the younger’s shoulder. Despite everything, it feels good to come back to him, to come <em>home</em> to him. </p><p>Jaemin’s opposite hand reaches across his own body to carefully rub Jeno’s arm for a moment, and the touch is so soothing, so caring, that Jeno has to stop himself from tearing up again. </p><p>“Sorry,” he says quietly, standing up straight again, “I think I’m getting a migraine so I just… feel a bit sorry for myself right now.” </p><p>“S’okay,” Jaemin replies, easy and casual. “Why don’t you take a quick nap before we go out?” </p><p>“Yeah, that’s not a bad idea—” He cuts himself off with a yawn and Jaemin chuckles amusedly. </p><p>“We gotta leave the house at about nine, by the way,” he calls over his shoulder as he pads sleepily into his bedroom. </p><p>He sets an alarm on his phone for 8PM - that gives him two and a half hours to sleep before he’ll need to get ready - and crawls on top of his unmade bed. Jeno doesn’t even remember falling asleep; as soon as his head hits the pillow he’s out. </p><p>When Jeno wakes up, it takes him a moment to find his phone in the darkness and shut off the alarm, and he realises belatedly it’s because his blackout blinds have been closed. Rubbing his eyes groggily, he also discovers a bowl of stir-fry on his nightstand, still warm, and the bottle of Gatorade has appeared beside it, a few ice cubes bobbing on the surface. </p><p>“Jaemin-ah?” he calls out sleepily, blushing in shame when his voice comes out small and babyish. </p><p>“Hmm?” Jaemin calls back from somewhere in the apartment. </p><p>“You made me dinner?” </p><p>Padding out into the lounge, he squints at the bright lights, and finds Jaemin running a pencil liner over his lashline in front of his shaving mirror. </p><p>“Well, I made myself dinner and had leftovers, so eat up before it gets cold.” He doesn’t look up from his ministrations, but his voice is in that tone Jeno knows he uses when he’s trying his best not to dote on people. </p><p>“Thanks, Jaemin,” he replies simply, before heading back to his room and taking the bowl of food to his desk, where he can savour every delicious bite. </p><p>They end up leaving early, Jaemin waiting for him by the door as Jeno rolls a couple of preemptive cigarettes, because he’s terrible at rolling when he’s drunk. </p><p>Jaemin’s pastel blue hair is gelled back off his face, a technique he’s clearly perfected from years of doing his own hair and makeup for the stage, and it honestly suits him almost <em>too</em> well. His face has lost a lot of the puppy fat they both had when they were teenagers, and his hairstyle only accentuates his maturity, a few strands of his bangs falling into his eyes, which are tightlined with black pencil and framed by strong, angular brows. He looks like he’s stepped out of a magazine, wrapped up in a black hoodie and a fleece-lined denim jacket that fit his torso like they were tailor-made for him, and on his legs are leather pants that would be ridiculous on anyone else, but on Jaemin it just works. </p><p>“Ready to go?” he smiles as Jeno grabs his pair of tattered Docs and laces them up. </p><p>He feels pretty underdressed next to Jaemin, opting for jeans, a turtleneck, winter coat and scarf. Going for a pair of round, wire-framed spectacles really isn’t helping the whole dark academia look, but Jaemin doesn’t comment, he simply looks him up and down and smiles an ambiguous smile. God, Jeno just needs to be drunk already. </p><p>“Yeah - you feeling nervous about seeing everyone again?” He locks the front door behind them, zipping his keys up in his coat pocket as they start walking towards the bar. </p><p>“Not really,” Jaemin hums, “I think we’ll have so much to catch up on, there won’t be any time to be nervous.” </p><p>“That’s good,” Jeno tucks his chin tighter against his chest, trying to protect his face from being bitten by the wind. “Wait, oh my god, I don’t think I ever told you,” he suddenly laughs. </p><p>“Told me what?” Jaemin’s smiling too, pupils sparkling with glee as he looks at Jeno out of the corner of his eye. </p><p>“They’re all dating now.” </p><p><em>“What?” </em>Jaemin splutters, and Jeno can’t help but burst out laughing. “When did this happen?” </p><p>“About a year ago,” Jeno replies, still calming his laughter, “Hyuck kept complaining to me that he wanted a boyfriend, so, almost as a joke, I invited Yukhei and Renjun on blind dates with him.” </p><p>“Uh huh,” Jaemin hums, amused, urging him to continue. </p><p>“He liked the dates so much that he asked them both out for a second one, but at the same place and time.” </p><p>“Oh my god,” Jaemin giggles. </p><p>“I swear to god, they both almost killed him on the spot, thought he was a two-timer, but he pitched the idea of polyamory to them and, well, the rest is history,” Jeno smiles at the fond memories, he’d never seen Donghyuck so happy before they started dating. </p><p>“What do you mean - ‘the rest is history’?” Jaemin laughs, his breath condensing in the cold air, like steam pouring from a dragon’s mouth. “This is history you gotta fill me in on, man!” </p><p>“You can ask them yourself, we’re almost there. Plus, Donghyuck will take any opportunity to talk about his love life, so watch out.” </p><p>“Noted,” Jaemin salutes him playfully, and Jeno smiles, momentarily so caught up in the conversation and Jaemin’s impish smile that he skids on a drain lid, and starts actually looking where he’s going again. The freezing temperature makes them arrive even faster than usual from walking at such a brisk pace to keep warm, and Jeno lets out a sigh of relief when he steps inside and is immediately bathed in warmth and soft lighting. </p><p>They hang their jackets up by the door and make their way over to the bar, Jaemin looking around with child-like curiosity as they wait for a bartender, and Jeno suddenly realises this was the bar that they always planned to have their first drink in. </p><p>“It’s different on the inside than I imagined,” Jaemin marvels, leaning against the counter to take the whole room in like it’s an art gallery and not a run-of-the-mill smalltown bar. </p><p>“What were you imagining?” </p><p>“I don’t know, really, but the way we talked about this place when we were kids made it feel like it was the Taj Mahal.” That easy smile never leaves Jaemin’s face, and he shapes his words around his smile, like it’s a part of him again. </p><p>Jeno laughs, “I know it’s not our first drink ever, not by a long shot, but we can still have <em>your</em> first drink here together?” he suggests, a little scared by his own determination to do things right this time. </p><p>“Yeah,” Jaemin says, grin spreading even wider, “I’d like that.” </p><p>They order soju, just like they’d always planned, and Jaemin pours out two shots before holding up his glass. </p><p>“To the future.” </p><p>“To the future,” Jeno replies, knocking their glasses together, and they take their shots in unison. </p><p><em>The future.</em> Oddly enough, it’s something Jeno is excited for now. </p><p>“Oh my god!” Someone cries from the other end of the room, and Jeno whips round to find the owner of the familiar voice. </p><p>“Jaemin!” Donghyuck calls in delight, not even bothering to take off his knee-length padding as he hurries over to them with open arms, Renjun at his side, and Yukhei a few strides behind them. </p><p>“Hey!” Jaemin beams, the three of them squealing in delight as Jaemin wraps Donghyuck and Renjun up in a hug, squeezing them in his arms. </p><p>“Glad you could both make it,” Yukhei smiles as he approaches Jeno, offering him a hug too while the others jump up and down in their little circle. </p><p>“Hey, hyung,” he sighs, never one to turn down the rare but amazing hugs Yukhei gives. </p><p>“Lucas!” Jaemin cries in an American accent, and Yukhei hugs him, and Donghyuck and Renjun both hug Jeno, and then each other, and then Yukhei, fit to burst with excited giggles. </p><p>“No way, you got even taller!” Renjun says to Jaemin in dismay - height was always a sensitive subject when they were kids. </p><p>“Not by much,” Jaemin laughs humbly, and Jeno quietly offers Yukhei a shot as they observe the three of them catching up. </p><p>His friendship with Yukhei only really blossomed after he started dating the others - since he’s an academic year older than the four of them, and Jaemin had only interacted with Yukhei on the annual three-day school trip to Seoul. Jeno knew him a little better from being on the badminton team with him, but especially in the past year, he and Yukhei found a quietness in each other when they needed to take a backseat from his high-energy boyfriends. </p><p>It’s no wonder Jaemin would still call him ‘Lucas’, the name he adopted for high school after a lifetime of teachers not giving a shit whether they pronounced his name right or not, and the name he dropped as soon as he left. </p><p>“I almost didn’t recognise you,” Donghyuck says, “You’re so hot now!” </p><p>“And I wasn’t before?” Jaemin waggles his eyebrows, and the three of them fall into a fit of giggles again. </p><p>“Seriously, where did you get that tan?” Renjun chimes in, graciously pulling Donghyuck’s coat off his shoulders. </p><p>“I lived in Florida for a while, that’s where I flew out from.” </p><p>Renjun and Donghyuck exchange an impressed look, like they can read each other’s minds just from one glance. </p><p>“That’s so cool, you gotta tell us all about America!” </p><p>“Guys, let’s at least sit down first,” Jeno interrupts. He wants to hear every tale Jaemin has to offer too, but their loud excitement is drawing glares from the other patrons. </p><p>“Sure,” Jaemin smiles, “What are you guys drinking? Come on, my treat.” </p><p>He takes everyone’s orders, and turns to Jeno last, “Jeno? Another round of soju?” </p><p>“No thanks,” Jeno hums, a smile playing at the corners of his lips, “Surprise me.” </p><p>Jeno gets what he wants, he gets absolutely shitfaced, but he also gets something he didn't know he needed, too. He has <em>fun.</em> Jaemin is full of stories from all over North America, from Orlando to Juneau to Toronto to San Francisco to Mexico City, if there's a dance competition worth talking about, he's competed in it. </p><p>Granted, a lot of the details Jeno is never going to remember; the fruity cocktail Jaemin bought for him goes straight to his head, making him giggly and loose-lipped. It tastes so good though, like cherry cola, and the silver glitter mixed into it that inevitably sinks to the bottom of his glass is fun to swirl around when it's empty. After that comes shots, and beers, and by the time Jeno has poured out the last drop of soju, poking out his tongue to catch a drip of it that runs down the neck of the bottle, Jaemin has finished speaking and Donghyuck has recounted a cliffnotes-version of their lives while Jaemin was away. He doesn't speak too much for Jeno, just gives Jaemin the broad strokes, but all of that can come another time, when Jeno is sober enough to tell the stories himself. </p><p>"There he goes," Renjun smiles, bringing Jeno out of the daydream he was in. He blinks, refocusing his eyes, and relaxes his jaw around the fabric between his teeth. </p><p>"Oh— Sorry, hyung," he mumbles, rubbing the sleeve of Yukhei's sweater where it's wet with saliva. Jaemin makes a confused noise beside him, and Jeno pretends to listen intently to Yukhei and Donghyuck's conversation about some TV show, but really his focus is on Renjun as he leans over to Jaemin. </p><p>"He always does that when he's drunk," Renjun says, an amused fondness in his voice. </p><p>"Why?" Jaemin replies curiously, in an even lazier drawl than usual. </p><p>"It's just a habit, he doesn't realise he's doing it, but I think chewing on people is how all werewolves show their affection." </p><p>"He <em>bites</em> you?" Jaemin hisses, and Jeno bristles at that, hackles raising. </p><p>"Not hard, chill out," Renjun laughs, "I'll swap seats with you if you really don't wanna get nibbled, but he's harmless, dude, you know this." </p><p>"I know, I know," Jaemin teases, "It's fine though, I don't mind." </p><p>But Jeno is pretty sure his feelings go a little deeper than simply <em>not minding,</em> especially when he loses himself in the floaty feeling that takes over his body, and snaps back into focus with his mouth around Jaemin’s bare wrist. </p><p><em>“Mmph,”</em> he says, trying to call Yukhei’s name, but still not quite putting together why his mouth won’t close around the syllables. </p><p>“Ouch, easy there Dracula,” Jaemin teases, but his voice sounds so fuzzy and far away, and Jeno reaches out for anything that will ground him, his limbs floppy and useless. </p><p>“Sorryyyyy,” he whines, finally figuring out how to unlock his jaw again. </p><p>“Christ, your teeth are sharp,” Jaemin laughs, and Jeno can only groan, his head spinning. </p><p>“Here,” he murmurs, offering up his wrist again when Jeno starts gnawing on the collar of his turtleneck, nearly puncturing holes in the fabric. He takes it sloppily, leaning his head on the table again, his teeth nestled comfortably against the soft, tanned skin of Jaemin’s forearm. </p><p>After a few moments of chewing gently, his gums start to ache, and he groans again, sitting up just long enough to turn over and crumple into Yukhei’s side. </p><p>There’s lively conversation going on around him, but Jeno can’t make out a word of it, his eyes so heavy and bones even heavier, and he hums a song quietly to himself. </p><p>“Jen, hey, Jeno?” Someone jostles him lightly, and he cracks his eyes open - it’s Yukhei. “I gotta go to the bathroom, can you sit up?” </p><p>“Mmmmm,” Jeno replies, letting Yukhei gently push him into an upright position, and then the warmth and stability of his body is gone. </p><p>“‘You doing okay?” Donghyuck asks, a hand on Jeno’s shoulder as he slides into the space Yukhei left vacant. </p><p>“‘M really drunk, Hyuckie,” he mumbles, smiling giddily. </p><p>“You sure are,” Donghyuck coos, reaching up to fix his hair. “You wanna go home soon?” His voice is gentle and soothing, and Jeno secretly <em>loves </em>this, being doted on and taken care of, and to his best friends it probably isn’t a secret. </p><p>“Nyeah,” he replies, wishing someone could take care of him not just as his best friend. “Where’s Jaemin?” </p><p>“He’s here, look!” </p><p>Jeno turns around, and sure enough, Jaemin is right beside him, his cheeks flushed from the alcohol, and smiling gently at him. </p><p>“Hey,” Jaemin smiles, body slumped against the back of their booth, eyes sparkling, “I’m right here.” </p><p>“Hi Jaemin,” he replies, smiling brightly back, just to say his name. </p><p>“You gonna be okay to walk back?” </p><p>“Yeah!” Jeno says firmly, attempting to sit up straight, but he can’t help swaying from side to side. “No…” </p><p>Jaemin laughs, “I’ll call a cab for us, yeah?” </p><p>Jeno nods, suddenly hit by another dizzy spell so strong that he topples forward, cheek landing against something soft and warm, and he squeezes his eyes closed until the room stops spinning. That’s when he realises the thing he landed on was Jaemin’s stomach, and he’s about to pull away when he notices the weight resting on his back - Jaemin’s arm - holding him. </p><p>“How about I call them now, before you really fall asleep, hm?” Jaemin says softly, voice low and soothing, and for Jeno’s ears only. </p><p>“Okie,” he sighs, and it would be so easy for Jaemin to thread his fingers into his hair in this position, Jeno wouldn’t stop him. </p><p>Jaemin shifts underneath him as he reaches for his pocket, but his arm stays firm around his torso, and Jeno can hear the beeps of him dialing the number into his phone. </p><p>He vaguely registers Jaemin telling him something about ‘fifteen minutes’, and Renjun pressing a paper straw into his mouth, force-feeding him water like he always does when any of them get too drunk. Jeno sips his water quietly, listening to Jaemin and Renjun’s conversation, and when he’s this drunk, it feels almost like Jaemin never really left, like he’s never missed a second of their lives. </p><p>Pressing closer into Jaemin’s side, he tries not to think about that, and instead focuses on the smell of his cologne, his warmth, the way his ribcage rumbles every time he speaks. Jeno can hear his heartbeat, loud and clear, and he wants to prise open Jaemin’s chest and cradle it in his hands, tend to his heart until all the marks he left on it are healed over, like nothing more than a bad dream. He splays his fingers out across Jaemin’s stomach, feeling it rise and fall with each steady breath, and that sensation is stronger than ever now when he’s so close, the sensation of Jaemin breathing life back into him. It feels like he’s being fed in the strangest way possible, and the closer their bodies are, the stronger Jeno gets. Jaemin is feeding off him too, taking what he needs to build himself back up again, and Jeno lets him take as much as he likes. </p><p>Jaemin takes him home, guides him into the back of the cab after they’ve both hugged their friends goodbye, and Jeno misses his touch even when Jaemin is sitting right beside him. </p><p>“What’s the time?” he mumbles when they finally get inside, leaning against the wall while Jaemin bolts the door. </p><p>“Nearly 3,” Jaemin replies, tugging on the sleeves of Jeno’s coat until it falls off his shoulders. </p><p>“‘Wanna go to bed,” Jeno whines, fighting just to keep his eyes open. </p><p>“You’re gonna go to bed with your shoes on?” Jaemin laughs, flicking a few lights on. </p><p>“Yes, ‘m too tired.” </p><p>He pouts, and his eyes suddenly fly open when he feels the spectacles lift off his nose. </p><p>“Idiot,” Jaemin says, taking the glasses and placing them on the sideboard. Stepping closer still, he gently unwraps the scarf around Jeno’s neck and hangs it up next to his coat, the apartment silent and still around them. </p><p>Jeno’s heart leaps as Jaemin drops to his knees in front of him, and he’s not sure whether to feel relieved or disappointed when he simply unties Jeno’s shoes, standing back up again to let him kick them off. He follows Jaemin wordlessly as he pads through to Jeno’s bedroom, turning on a lamp as he goes, bathing the room in soft yellow light. </p><p>The world seems to hold its breath as Jeno lies down on his bed, closing his eyes for a moment before gazing softly up at Jaemin. </p><p>“You can’t sleep in those clothes,” he whispers. The night is theirs, and Jeno asks with his eyes for Jaemin to take it, to cross into unexplored worlds with him. </p><p>Jaemin takes his shirt off slowly, careful not to jostle him too much as he pushes the fabric up and up and up. </p><p>“Is that better?” Jeno replies when his shirt is on the floor and Jaemin is in his lap, his hands warm on Jeno’s bare chest. </p><p>“You still have your clothes on,” Jaemin breathes, brushing their lips together. </p><p>“You’d better get rid of them, then,” he says, cradling the back of Jaemin’s neck to kiss him. He’s never felt so high, Jaemin turning his body to liquid that melts into him, and Jaemin is kissing him and touching him and pulling at his jeans, dragging breathy little noises out of him, and <em>fuck,</em> Jeno feels so good he could—</p><p>🐺</p><p>“Shit,” Jeno groans, trying to pull the comforter over his head, but it’s nowhere to be found. His legs are tangled in fabric, and his skull feels like it’s being split open. </p><p>As he blinks the sleep out of his eyes, he finds a blanket draped over him, and it takes him a moment to put the pieces together. He’s lying on top of his comforter, wearing the same clothes he went to bed in, and Jaemin is nowhere to be seen. </p><p>Oh no. He didn’t seriously have a wet dream about Jaemin, did he? </p><p>Jeno takes a cold, cold shower, massaging his scalp under the spray to try and soothe his pounding headache. Today is definitely going to be a day for doing nothing but lying in bed and trying not to die from his hangover, he decides. He dumps his clothes from last night in the laundry basket and gets into his pyjamas - a sweatshirt and basketball shorts - before cracking his bedroom door open. </p><p>Jaemin is still asleep, lying on his stomach with tufts of blue hair sticking up at the crown of his head, and Jeno creeps closer to peer over the back of the couch. He’s wrapped up snugly in his comforter, breathing softly through parted lips, and he looks so peaceful like this, eyelashes brushing the delicate skin of his under-eyes. Stirring slightly, he brings his right arm up onto the pillow, and Jeno’s stomach twists as he catches sight of the bite marks on his wrist. </p><p>He never leaves that many marks, but in the patchy memories he has of last night, he doesn’t recall Jaemin ever pushing him away or being uncomfortable, and the longer he stares at the indents in his skin, the more he feels strangely… satisfied. No— he doesn’t want to think too much into that, and he tiptoes towards the kitchen with a shake of his head. </p><p>Jaemin gets up at 2PM, shuffling into Jeno’s bathroom with his eyes barely open and a hand inside his shirt, scratching lazily at his stomach as he raises his eyebrows at Jeno in greeting. </p><p>“I made you breakfast,” Jeno says quietly when Jaemin unlocks the door a few minutes later, drying his wet hair with a hand towel. </p><p>Beads of water run off the ends of his hair, the locks of sky blue clumping together, and the droplets land on his shoulders and chest, leaving little marks where they soak into the fabric. </p><p>“Really?” he rasps, voice gravelly from sleep, and Jeno’s head pounds again. </p><p>“I guess it’s more like lunch now, but yeah, there’s eggs and ramen if you want it.” </p><p>Jaemin leans back against the wall, the towel draped around his shoulders, and Jeno’s sure that he dreamt everything that happened last night, but it felt so real. Even down to the smell of Jaemin’s hair and the way his shoulders must feel when Jeno held onto them for support, it was all eerily accurate. </p><p>“Thanks, Jeno,” he smiles graciously, bringing Jeno back into the room. He lifts his right arm, tracing his thumb absentmindedly over the bite marks, and Jeno opens his mouth to apologise, but then he catches the tender smile on Jaemin’s face as he admires them, and any such apology is mangled into a choking noise. </p><p>“Don’t worry about it, you make food all the time for me, so…” he says after clearing his throat profusely, twisting his fingers in the blankets. “How did we get back here last night?” </p><p>Jaemin chuckles, making himself comfortable against the wall, like he’s not in any rush to cut their conversation short. “I called us a cab, and you knocked out as soon as your head hit the pillow, leaving me to do all the evening chores myself.” </p><p>“Ah, sorry,” Jeno smiles sheepishly, “I was really tired.” </p><p>Flashing that ambiguous smile again, Jaemin seems to swirl his words around his mouth as if deciding whether he wants to spit them out or not. </p><p>“How’s your jaw?” he grins, and he really has to stop grinning like that, cocky and annoyingly attractive. </p><p>“What about my jaw?” Jeno blinks, pulling the comforter tighter around him for protection. </p><p>“Doesn’t it make it ache, biting people that much?” </p><p>Jeno’s blood freezes, an ice cold chill trickling down his back as Jaemin just keeps smiling that all-knowing, cat-like smile of his. </p><p>“I— I didn’t bite that much, did I?” He blinks up at Jaemin with wide eyes, bombarded with even more guilt. </p><p>“You didn’t, I’m only teasing.” Jaemin pushes himself upright and shuffles out of the room - something is definitely up with him. </p><p>🐺</p><p>
  <em>February 27th 2021</em>
</p><p>It’s the following Wednesday, three days before the full moon, when Jeno finds out what that something is. He and Jaemin have been working tirelessly, so wrapped up in the chaos that is working in healthcare and retail in the winter that he forgot all about the full moon. His colleagues comment on his good mood and praise him for working so efficiently, and originally he had tacked it all up to simply having Jaemin back in his life and in his apartment to keep him company. </p><p>That is, until he finally confronts Jaemin about his odd behaviour, and he realises it's something else entirely.</p><p>"Okay," he huffs, sitting in the armchair, watching TV with Jaemin, who's perched on the couch but he's not really watching. "What's up?"</p><p>"Nothing's up," Jaemin says indignantly, and Jeno sighs.</p><p>"Something is definitely up, just spit it out." It's his turn to sport <em>that</em> grin now, crossing his arms smugly over his chest as he waits for Jaemin's response.</p><p>"Fine. Why are your fangs... like that?" he murmurs, voice hushed like it's this huge taboo.</p><p>"What—" Then he realises, "Ohhh, the full moon must be in a few days, they always get bigger in the build-up to it."</p><p>"Forgive me for the stupid question," Jaemin says cautiously, "But are your abilities the same as before?"</p><p>"Not exactly, so it's not a stupid question," Jeno starts, "I still get the same emotional symptoms that you saw, but my fangs grow a lot bigger, and this is kinda embarrassing, but my head-hair gets... bushier." He laughs at his own ridiculousness, but Jaemin takes him dead seriously, because he remembers how emotional Jeno would get. Jeno’s learnt how to control it a bit more now, but he leaves out all of the more <em>intimate</em> details.</p><p>"Can I see them, your fangs?" Jaemin says after a beat of silence, eyes locked onto the TV.</p><p>"Jaemin— I—"</p><p>"It won't be weird!" he laughs, but there's an unmistakable rosy tint to his ears. "I just wanna, y'know, look at them, I've never seen werewolf fangs before."</p><p>"Aren't you lucky you have me to help you fulfil that lifelong dream, then?" Jeno sighs, but he can't even pretend to be mad at Jaemin when he's sitting up eagerly and patting the couch cushions next to him.</p><p>"Say <em>ahhh," </em>Jaemin coos when Jeno is perched next to him, nervously shifting since their knees are so close to touching and Jaemin is smiling at him expectantly.</p><p>So Jeno opens his mouth, baring his fangs a little, and Jaemin's eyes widen, his mouth going completely slack as he sees the full size of them for the first time; about two inches long, and a good inch in diameter at the gums, that tapers down to a sharp point. His two top incisors are almost big enough that they'll spill out of his mouth in a few days' time, making it impossible to venture out anywhere without a mask on for fear of being stared at constantly. Jeno relaxes his jaw, letting it drop, and saliva is already collecting behind his gums from not being able to swallow. </p><p>Jaemin's reaction is <em>far</em> from what he expected. He's speechless, simply staring at Jeno intently, his eyes fixed on his teeth, and he shifts a little closer, peering at his open mouth. </p><p>Jeno has to close his mouth to swallow the spit that threatens to spill out past his bottom lip, and that seems to snap Jaemin out of his trance. </p><p>"What'd you think?" he asks, surprised at how breathless he sounds to his own ears. </p><p>"They— They're <em>sharp,"</em> he breathes, and Jeno simply nods, suffocated by the air that lies thick between them. </p><p>Jaemin doesn't ask him to, but Jeno opens his mouth once more, giving him a second look at the very fangs he had bitten Jaemin with last week. The marks are still faintly there on his wrist - Jeno can see them as Jaemin raises his arm from his lap to hover in midair. </p><p>He asks without words, and Jeno nods in answer, holding his breath as Jaemin reaches up gingerly and presses the tip of his finger against the right-hand fang. The pressure is a little painful on Jeno’s sensitive gums, and he winces slightly, Jaemin catching it immediately. </p><p>“I’m okay,” he says, nodding reassuringly, “The sudden growth just makes my gums ache.” </p><p>Just like that, Jaemin takes his chin between his forefinger and thumb, holding him in place, and Jeno’s breath hitches loud enough that Jaemin must hear it. He keeps him steady as he glides his finger over his tooth again, this time a little more sure of himself, and carefully rubs over his gums. </p><p>It feels so nice, and Jeno lets out an appreciative little hum, his eyes already slipping closed as Jaemin massages the tender area, swollen from the extra space his fangs take up. With his eyes closed, Jeno can hear even clearer how loud his own pulse is, hammering in his ears as Jaemin’s middle finger joins his index and glides carefully over his skin, and Jeno’s palms are suddenly clammy, hyper aware of every sensation. He can feel Jaemin’s breath against his cheek, how his thumb twitches where it rests against his chin, and he can even smell Jaemin’s new shampoo - scented like vanilla and cocoa butter. </p><p>He shifts, leaning back so he can rest against the cushions, and Jaemin comes with him, hesitating for a second before rubbing tiny circles over the gums on the left side. </p><p>“Is that helping?” he breathes, voice soft and only for Jeno’s ears. </p><p>“Uh-huh,” Jeno nods, suddenly aware of how much saliva is building up beneath his tongue. He flickers his gaze up to Jaemin - who smiles sweetly at him while keeping up the same gentle pressure. </p><p>Shit, he can’t just let it all run out of his mouth, but he doesn’t really want to push Jaemin away either in case he scares him away, he’s really starting to like this gentle, caring side of him. He considers his options for a moment, and at last pools the saliva to the back of his tongue, and carefully swallows without dislodging Jaemin’s fingers. </p><p>Jeno is sure he hears him gasp quietly, and he really hopes he wasn’t paying attention to the frankly gross sight of Jeno swallowing his own spit right in front of him, but he must’ve seen it. </p><p>“If you want me to leave you alone, just say,” Jaemin says gently, taking his fingers out of Jeno’s mouth to let him reply, and he hates that he misses the weight of them. </p><p>“It’s okay, my gums are really sore right now, so— I appreciate it.” He doesn’t dare look Jaemin in the eye, just stares at his own lap and at Jaemin’s fingers that are coated in a shiny layer of drool. </p><p>“More?” Jaemin asks after a pause, and Jeno nods, eyes still fixed on the middle distance. </p><p>“What about over here?” Jaemin hums to himself, tracing his finger from his upper fangs down to his lower teeth. Jeno is about to tell him that he doesn’t have fangs down there, but any argument dies in his throat when Jaemin hooks his finger over his teeth and presses carefully at his inner gums. </p><p>Poking and rubbing, he works his way carefully over every tooth until he reaches his molars, and by then his finger is brushing up against Jeno’s tongue with every pass. How they got here, he doesn’t know, but all he can think of is how much he wants Jaemin to press his digits against the flat of his tongue, to rub the pads of them over it and let them get coated in his spit. </p><p>He needs to swallow again, and this time he has to close his jaw a little in order to do it, lips closing slightly around the intrusion, and Jaemin makes an approving little hum, swiping his finger across the tops of his teeth to do the same on the other side. </p><p>It’s fucking agony, being so on-edge with Jaemin unknowingly teasing him like this, having to pay close attention to every move he makes so that he doesn’t do anything stupid like let his eyes roll to the back of his head. He’s so wrapped up in thoughts of Jaemin climbing into his lap that he doesn’t realise more drool is collecting right where Jaemin’s finger is pressing, blood quickly rushing south as he clenches his fists tight by his sides. It’s only when he tilts his head down a little does he feel a line of saliva run out of his mouth, and he jumps forward to try and catch it with the point of his tongue, grabbing Jaemin’s wrist before it runs all the way down his arm. </p><p>“Sorry,” he lisps, breathless, Jaemin’s finger pressed to the back of his tongue and Jeno’s hand wrapped around his wrist, looking up at him while in such a compromising position, and he and Jaemin flush the same shade of bright red. </p><p>Fuck. <em>Fuck.</em> What’s gotten into him? Why is he so turned on from something as embarrassing as drooling over his friend’s hand - if Jaemin even is his friend again? </p><p>He jumps back, dropping Jaemin’s wrist, and his eyes follow the motion of it falling into his lap and—  Oh God. </p><p>Oh <em>fuck. </em>Jeno’s brain combusts just like that, all those thoughts he had been trying so hard to hold back cascade out, breaking free of their ties as he tries to look anywhere but Jaemin’s lap while still stealing glances at it because <em>holy fuck.</em> </p><p>Jaemin is hard. And what’s more, he’s <em>huge.</em> The tent in his sweats is unfathomably big, and screw his fingers, Jeno wants <em>that</em> down his throat, choking on it as Jaemin pets his hair and—  </p><p>“Sorry, I—  I didn’t mean to— Y’know…” <em>Drool all over your hand. </em></p><p>“It’s okay,” Jaemin rasps, and Jeno has to stop his eyes rolling into the back of his head because <em>fucking hell </em>Jaemin sounds so hot when he’s turned on. “I’ll just go— wash my hand, but don’t worry about it, could’ve happened to anyone.” </p><p>Jaemin smiles tightly, and Jeno turns away subtly as he moves to stand up, giving Jaemin the privacy to walk to the bathroom. </p><p>He’s gone for considerably longer than it takes to wash your hands, and Jeno feels hot all over, burning up under his skin and willing his boner to go away because what the hell did they just do? He tries so, so hard to ignore the obvious implication of what Jaemin is doing - humming a song to himself, washing the dishes - but the whole time, only one thought remains. </p><p>
  <em>Jaemin is using my spit to touch himself with. </em>
</p><p>🐺</p><p>They don’t talk about it, don’t acknowledge it, but the full moon comes that Saturday, Jeno’s fangs spilling out of his mouth, and he almost punctures a hole in his pillowcase as he bites down on it, rutting his hips madly against the mattress. </p><p>It always makes him a little more emotional than normal, a little more needy, and as he shoves his hand down his pants, he longs for someone else to take care of him instead. </p><p>Jaemin is in the next room over, cooking Jeno dinner, because he’s been pouting around the house all day, and he doesn’t have a lock on his door. Not that Jaemin would, but he could walk in at any second and see him like this, stripped down to his boxers, clinging onto a pillow while he grinds his hips sloppily into his fist - and Jeno wouldn’t mind if he did. It’s probably just the effect of the full moon, he tells himself, but what he wouldn’t give to have Jaemin slide his fingers into his mouth, and then use the slicked up digits to fuck him silly, holding him down with his face in the mattress. </p><p>What if Jaemin knows what he’s doing right now, like some sixth sense? If he saw right through Jeno and is hard too, thinking about all the same dirty things Jeno is? Things like whispering in his ear in that stupid low voice of his that makes Jeno weak at the knees, telling him what a <em>good boy</em> he is, and how good he looks with fingers inside him. </p><p>He cums with Jaemin’s name on his lips, his body shuddering to a halt as he twitches with the aftershocks, whimpering into his pillow. </p><p>“Nice nap?” Jaemin asks when he emerges from his bedroom, in clean clothes and with his hair tamed down again. </p><p>“Mhmm,” Jeno hums, leaning sleepily against the door of the refrigerator. </p><p>“Good,” he smiles, handing Jeno a little plastic pot from behind his back, and he instantly perks up. </p><p>“Jelly?” he gasps, voice small and babyish. </p><p>“Yeah, I got your favourite,” Jaemin beams, a soft smile on his face as Jeno glances at him once to ask if it’s okay, and then tears the lid off the container to dig into the gummy worms. </p><p>“Dinner’s almost ready, so don’t spoil your appetite,” he warns, pinching Jeno’s cheek before moving back over to the rice cooker. </p><p>“Okieee,” Jeno hums, clutching the box of jellies close to his chest as he pads into the lounge and curls up in the armchair. </p><p>He and Jaemin still have their awkward or tense moments, but they’re both <em>trying,</em> Jeno can sense that now. Instead of letting any pettiness or a grudge turn things into a full-blown fight, they try to work things out and understand each other, and right now, that’s all Jeno could ask for. He still feels unrelentingly guilty for their past, but the foundations of their friendship are finally being laid down again, and he’s going to build it properly this time, do things right by Jaemin at last. </p><p>🐺</p><p>
  <em>March 1st 2021</em>
</p><p>Rome wasn’t built in a day - Jeno knows this - and rebuilding a friendship that had been broken with a finality such as theirs was going to take a long time. But there’s no doubt that Jaemin, arrogant, insufferable Jaemin, is getting on his fucking nerves. Yeah, sure he’s been working ten-hour days, but so has Jeno, and the lounge is a fucking mess, and Jaemin is listening to that stupid Justin Beiber album that he knows Jeno hates. Jeno knows he’s too stubborn, and he needs to pick his battles, but he can’t stop himself from escalating the situation, especially when Jaemin is wearing that tight, white t-shirt that makes Jeno feel too many emotions, and one of those being <em>rage. </em></p><p>So, he escapes to the grocery store, headphones in and a basket full of sugary fruits for him to sink his fangs into. He’s making his way to the soda aisle when he sees a familiar face that makes him tug one of his headphones out. </p><p>“Yangyang?” he calls to the young woman across from him, who’s pointing to a fabric softener that her taller partner retrieves from the high shelf for her. </p><p>“Yangyang?” he says again when she turns around, a bright smile blooming across her face, “It’s Jeno, Lee Jeno?” </p><p>“Jeno-ya!” she cries, grabbing her partner’s hand and leading them over. She dabs Jeno up, which makes him burst out into laughter, and she looks him up and down with a toothy grin on her face. </p><p>“Fancy seeing you back here, how are you?” Jeno smiles back genuinely, he hasn’t seen Yangyang since they left high school and she moved away to Daegu for university. </p><p>“I’m really good,” she replies, glancing up at her partner and smiling warmly, “I should introduce you, Jeno, this is Mark, my datefriend! Mark, this is Jeno, we went to high school together.” </p><p>Mark is a little taller than Yangyang, especially with a slight platform to their sneakers, and they look different from the pictures Yangyang had shown Jeno in high school, a lot more mature, with much less of a babyface now. Their shoulder-length bob is slightly wavy and topped with a white beanie to protect from the cold, with a silver ring through their nostril, and tattoos covering their forearms where the sleeves of their denim jacket are rolled up. </p><p>“Mark,” Jeno says, offering a hand out to shake, “I’ve heard so much about you over the years, you two finally got together, huh?” </p><p>“It’ll be two years in the summer,” Mark says warmly, “She asked me out as soon as we were able to meet up.” </p><p>Yangyang giggles, “We <em>had</em> been talking for two years before that, Markie.” </p><p>“So did you move over here?” Jeno asks curiously, he remembers clear as day how Yangyang had pined over them for so long, having Skype dates almost every day since Mark lived in Shanghai, but never making anything official. </p><p>“Yeah, we live in Daegu now, but thought we would visit for the week, y’know, relive some old memories of hers,” Mark explains, lacing their fingers with Yangyang’s. Jeno’s eyes follow the movement and— </p><p>“Woah! You guys are…?” </p><p>They both giggle bashfully, Yangyang untying their hands to hold out her left hand. </p><p>“We’re not telling everyone at once, but yes, we got engaged on Christmas Day.” </p><p>“Congratulations!” Jeno beams, leaning forward to squint at the ring - he stupidly forgot his glasses back at the apartment. It’s beautiful, silver with rubies and diamonds encased in it, and it sparkles daintily on Yangyang’s ring finger. </p><p>“Wow, I’m so happy for you,” he smiles warmly. Yangyang really deserves this - a kind soul to match with hers. </p><p>“Thank you,” Yangyang returns a smile just as big, bouncing on her toes with excitement. She glances up at Mark, who nods, and then speaks again. “Are you doing anything right now?” </p><p>They finish up their grocery shopping and meet at a cafe around the corner, where Jeno insists on paying for their coffees, and grabs a bottled iced coffee to take back for Jaemin as a peace offering. </p><p>In a corner by the window, they sit and talk, sharing stories from high school with Mark and sharing new stories in the time they’ve been apart. Jeno doesn’t mention Jaemin - that’s a lot to think about for a Monday afternoon - instead he talks about work and his friends and how his family are. Mark opens up a lot more than Jeno would have expected, they’re charming and funny and easy to talk to, and he can see why Yangyang was always so enamoured with them. </p><p>“You’re a werewolf?” Mark hums in a natural pause in conversation, and Jeno nearly chokes on the last sip of his coffee. </p><p>“Baby!” Yangyang scolds, “You didn’t have to say it like <em>that!” </em></p><p>“Like what?” they protest, and the couple pout at each other for a moment, clearly engaged in an intense silent fight. </p><p>“It’s okay,” Jeno interrupts, laughing nervously to cool any tension, “I’ll admit, you don’t have to talk to me for long to notice I’m not fully human.” </p><p>“Sorry, dude, I just—” Mark clears their throat, tucking their hair behind their ear, “I’m a werewolf too, isn’t that crazy!?” </p><p>“Oh my god… that’s awesome!” Jeno exclaims with a grimace, not quite knowing what to say. Of course, he can see it now - Mark’s yellowish eyes, the fangs - he really shouldn’t have taken his contacts out after work. </p><p>“Where are your pack based?” Mark says excitedly, leaning across the table, and Jeno glances nervously at Yangyang. </p><p>“Uhh,” he laughs tightly, picking at his fingernails, “I don’t have a pack.” </p><p>“Oh?” they hum, tilting their head to one side in confusion, “How come?” </p><p>
  <em>Because I’m an outsider, because I was never introduced to my family’s pack, because no one would want me, because I’m a useless fucking halfblood. </em>
</p><p>“Mark,” Yangyang says gently, placing a hand on their arm, “That’s kind of…” </p><p><em>A sensitive topic. </em>Yangyang knows a portion of Jeno’s fears, his own insecurities making him scared to even try for fear of being rejected. She knows the insecurities aren’t grounded in reality or born from trauma, but they’ve always felt so real. </p><p>“Oh— shit, sorry!” Mark backpedals, giving Jeno an apologetic look, eyes like saucers, “We can talk about something else, man, no worries.” </p><p>“I— It’s okay,” Jeno smiles tightly, placing his mug down neatly on the table. “I should probably get back and— I wouldn’t want to keep you both out for too long.” </p><p>“Are you sure, Jeno?” Yangyang worries, standing up as Jeno does. </p><p>“Yeah, don’t worry!” he says cheerfully, “I have a session with my personal trainer tonight and, y’know, gotta make myself dinner first.” </p><p>Yangyang seems convinced, “Alright, don’t let us make you late! It was really nice to see you again, and I’ll text you, so keep in touch.” </p><p>She smiles warmly and politely hands Jeno his bag of groceries. </p><p>“Of course,” he replies, “It was great to catch up, and so nice to finally meet you, Mark.” </p><p>“You too, man!” Mark jumps to their feet, “And sorry about… uh, you know.” </p><p>“Don’t worry about it,” Jeno reassures, “Take care of yourselves!” </p><p>“You too,” Yangyang calls after him, and Jeno waves as he exits the cafe and passes by their window, double checking he’s out of sight before he lets his bottom lip wobble. </p><p>He manages to calm himself down by the time he reaches the apartment, unlocking the front door with slightly shaky fingers, but he tells himself it's just from the cold. One look inside the lounge, and he feels his blood boil, every emotion he’s bottled up throughout the day bubbling to the surface, threatening to explode at any second. </p><p>“Jaemin!” he yells, dumping his jacket on the floor in the hallway, teeth grinding as he marches into the lounge. This can’t be happening, he just wanted to come home to some peace and quiet but he can’t live like this when Jaemin has made the lounge a complete mess, and Jeno fucking <em>asked </em>himto tidy it up, but of <em>course</em> he didn’t listen. </p><p>“What?” Jaemin grumbles, lying on the couch with a sea of trash and laundry <em>still </em>surrounding him. </p><p>“We fucking talked about this,” Jeno roars, nearly screaming, and his whole body feels hot, like it’s going to burst, “Why can’t you just do the one thing I asked of you? The one thing!” </p><p>Why does he even bother? Tears burn hot on his lashline, and Jeno blinks them away angrily. He refuses to cry over something as stupid as this, but his mind is too full of all those insecurities suddenly brought to the surface again to deal with this right now. It’s just too much, he’s overloaded with so many thoughts already, and he feels his reserve breaking as he takes in how severely messy the room is. This is going to take an age to clean up, and it’s not even his cleaning to do, but the sight of it is so overwhelming that he just can’t do this anymore - not today. </p><p>“Jesus—” Jaemin startles, sitting up, “Alright, I’ll tidy up, sorry.” </p><p>“It’s not much to ask, Jaemin, <em>seriously!</em> So please can you just— Please—” </p><p>He crumples at the knees, bracing himself against the armchair as he sobs into the back of his hand, and Jaemin drops everything to rush to his side. It’s embarrassing, humiliating even, hot tears falling down his cheeks out of pure <em>anger.</em> Jaemin shouldn’t have to see him like this - coming to pieces over something so fucking supid, but this is just the straw that broke the camel’s back, the last piece that tips him over the edge into hopelessness. </p><p>“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” he says softly, a hand gentle on Jeno’s shoulder, “I’m sorry I didn’t tidy up, I promise I’ll get it all done now, Jeno, promise.” </p><p>Everything burns, his eyes, his throat, his chest, all of it burning with white hot pain as he shakes, and that little voice in his head screams at him <em>‘I’ll never be good enough.’ </em></p><p>“I’m sorry—” he hiccups, cupping his palm over his mouth to try and muffle his sobs, and Jaemin rubs his back soothingly. “I’m so— sorry.” </p><p>“Jeno, what’s going on? You can tell me, I wanna help you.” </p><p>“You can’t!” he cries, “Not unless you can change my fucking DNA.” </p><p>“Sit down, Jen,” Jaemin says, guiding him over to the couch, and Jeno stumbles forward, letting Jaemin lead him. </p><p>“I— I—” he stutters, no idea of where to start, and his throat constricts so tight it’s nearly impossible to speak. His head feels like it’s going to explode, Jaemin just barely fanning the flames with a gentle arm around his shoulders. It’s too much, too much to think about and his head spins with all of those fears and insecurities ripping out of the darkness in his heart he’d stashed them away in. Just like his crushing guilt, he thought he could origami-fold them up into a tiny box and squash them away forever, but here they are, bursting forth and making his temples throb with the weight of a thousand worries. </p><p>“It’s okay, just let it all go,” Jaemin soothes, nudging his shoulder slightly with the hand wrapped around them, and Jeno crumbles. </p><p>He lets Jaemin hold him as he cries into his chest, clutching at his shirt and trying desperately to muffle his sobs as Jaemin holds him close, letting him curl himself up into a ball, knees tucked alongside Jaemin’s legs. Jeno cries and cries until no more tears come, and Jaemin is still there, rubbing his back and rocking them gently from side to side, humming to him softly. </p><p>“It’s okay,” he repeats, and Jeno reaches into his pocket for a tissue, wiping away the tears and snot before tossing it into the closest pile of trash on the floor, and Jaemin snorts a small laugh. He feels no shame about the touches as he settles back down against Jaemin’s chest, wrapping his arms around his middle and feeling Jaemin soften against him, relaxing in his hold. </p><p>“Sorry,” he mumbles in a small voice, throat dry and lips even dryer. </p><p>“Don’t apologise,” Jaemin reassures, “Now, what’s going on?” </p><p>“Do you…” Jeno begins, licking the cotton from the corners of his mouth, “Do you ever just feel… inferior? Like you were born to be <em>something</em> but no matter how hard you try, it’s impossible?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Jaemin replies, chest rumbling beneath Jeno’s head, and that has the elder taken aback. “Where everyone expects you to be something you’re not, even though it’s in your blood?” </p><p>“Yeah, exactly like that…” he breathes, glancing up at Jaemin. The amount of empathy in his eyes is immeasurable, looking at Jeno like he can feel all his pain, all his heartache, and that look alone takes some of the hurt away. Just knowing that Jaemin is trying his hardest to understand… it takes some of the weight off Jeno’s shoulders, able to unload at least a portion of those feelings into Jaemin’s open arms. </p><p>“Well, I met another werewolf today - the first one I’ve met that isn’t my sister - and they… they’re everything I wish I was.” </p><p>“In what way?” </p><p>“They— They have a pack, and they have yellow eyes, and they— They can <em>turn.” </em></p><p>“Turn?” Jaemin parrots, sweeping the stray hairs of Jeno’s bangs off his forehead with a single finger. The touch is soothing, meant to be a gesture of kindness and understanding, and Jeno feels himself welling up again, because he didn’t realise how much he’d missed having those subtle touches that mean so much to him. </p><p>“Unh,” Jeno hums affirmatively, squeezing his eyes shut, “I can’t turn, Jaemin. I’ve never been able to.” </p><p>“Oh… I’m sorry to hear that,” Jaemin says sincerely. </p><p><em>Oh. </em>That wasn’t the reaction he was expecting. Jeno is used to this being a positive, that <em>thank god </em>he can’t go and eat people or whatever humans assume all werewolves do. He doesn’t know where to go from here, was so ready to explain himself and be left with a hole in his chest when he’s inevitably told how lucky he is, and what a relief, and that he has nothing to worry about. Because he does have a lot to worry about, an awful lot, and the implications that his mixed genes have on his werewolf status is humiliating. </p><p>“Thank you,” he whispers, voice wobbling again, and Jeno clears his throat harshly to stop it from giving him away. “No one’s ever responded like that before…” </p><p>“What do people normally say?” </p><p>Jaemin squeezes him a little tighter, rubbing his palm in circles over his shoulder, the warmth of his skin seeping through Jeno’s sweater. </p><p>“That it’s a good thing, and I should be happy, and they’re glad I’m not like those <em>other</em> werewolves,” he says bitterly. </p><p>“What the hell?” Jaemin bristles, fingers tensing up, and he holds Jeno tighter still, as if trying to protect him from their words. “Do you want to be able to turn?” </p><p>“So badly,” Jeno breathes shakily, “Not even for the ability, just so that I can have a pack and— and be accepted as one of them, not some outcast who isn’t good enough to be a <em>real </em>werewolf.” </p><p>Curling in tighter on himself, he squeezes his eyes shut again, like that’ll stop the thoughts from consuming him. Jaemin, however, bats them away with a flame of his own, a flame he’ll use to defend Jeno, and that thought alone gives him goosebumps all over his body. Jeno doesn’t need to be protected, Jaemin knows this, he can fend for himself - but having someone who is willing to fight for him, <em>that </em>is a special thing to have in his arsenal. </p><p>“You <em>are</em> good enough,” Jaemin says, breath tickling his hair, and Jeno isn’t inclined to believe him, but he doesn’t argue back. “You’re not broken for being like this, and I’m so sorry people don’t realise that, because you really are one of a kind, Jeno.” </p><p>“Jaemin… I—”</p><p>“Don’t interrupt!” Jaemin jokes, voice so overdramatic it makes Jeno snort out a little laugh. “If those wolves won’t accept you, then fuck ‘em, we can find you a new pack, or hell, create a pack of your own. You don’t need to stoop to their standards to have a community - I know there are plenty of wolves out there who will love you for who you are, not just the half of you that they want you to be. I know this is something you can’t fix, and that bothers you, but Jeno, you have nothing to feel insecure about, nothing at all.” </p><p>Jaemin’s voice hitches, his pitch shaking a little, and Jeno is already crying softly again, rubbing his wet cheeks on Jaemin’s shirt, on the soft fabric and attempting to nuzzle the kind heart beneath. He’s still wearing that stupid too-tight white shirt, and Jeno punches his chest, light as a feather, just to show Jaemin he’s still mad at him - a little.</p><p>“Can you help me find a pack?” he asks, voice small. </p><p>“Of course,” Jaemin replies firmly, with a reassurance that rubs off on Jeno, and <em>yeah </em>he might be caught between two worlds, but they’re two worlds he loves dearly. </p><p>“God, I just feel so stupid that I’m so hung up over this,” Jeno huffs. “I’ve never met any other wolves, and no one has ever said anything malicious about me being a halfblood, I just… hate being like this.” </p><p>“You’re not stupid,” Jaemin says immediatley, tone firm, “It’s okay to feel that way, and I’m glad that you recognise that you’re escalating things a little. We’re all our own worst critic, so cut yourself some slack, Jeno, you’re in a very unique position, so it’s understandable that it’ll take a little while for you to find your people.” </p><p>They sit quietly on the couch for a while, Jeno whispering his deepest insecurities, and Jaemin has a rebuttal to all of them. He praises and reassures and squeezes Jeno’s shoulders until his chest is warming from the inside out and his cheeks tingle with a light dusting of pink. Jeno doesn’t say much after that, and neither does Jaemin, breathing deeply and steadily, simply holding him and Jeno letting himself be held. </p><p>It feels like his heart has been placed back into his chest after autopsy, a Y-incision running across his body as Jaemin reassembles him. He’s never bared so much to one person before, cleared out all the corners of himself and shown it off in all its disgusting glory, black tar seeping through Jeno’s fingers as he lets Jaemin examine him. After his chest has been hollowed out, scraped clean of all the bad, Jeno is left empty and raw, but Jaemin is there, and he places Jeno’s heart, beating once again, and squeaky clean, back inside the cavity. He fills him with all the good tingly feelings that warm Jeno from his toenails to the crown of his head, packing him with softness like he’s a Build-A-Bear, and then lovingly stitching him back up again. Jeno is the one with the medical knowledge, but Jaemin knows him better than any other living soul, knows all the nooks and crannies that his fears hide in, and he stomps them all out with his heel. Jaemin places each stitch with care, tracing nonsense patterns on Jeno’s back, breathing life back into him again just like he has been ever since the day they were reunited. </p><p>By the time Jeno stands up, the apartment in darkness since the sun had set long ago, he’s alive. He’s Frankenstein’s monster - and Jaemin looks proudly upon his creation, offering Jeno a glass of water before leading him to his room. </p><p>He wants to hug Jaemin, wants to wrap his arms around his neck and pull him in tight, and maybe Jaemin does too, from the way he hovers close to Jeno’s side. Perched on the end of his bed, he thanks Jaemin quietly <em>“just… for everything”</em>.</p><p>🐺</p><p>
  <em>March 10th 2021</em>
</p><p>Renjun is a good friend to him, sometimes almost <em>too</em> good of a friend, because he kindly took the liberty of setting Jeno up with a date. Granted, Jeno was flattered that this guy wanted to go out with him, and on a weekday night, no less, but like Jeno has been saying for the past six months or more, he doesn’t have time for dating. </p><p>Renjun assures him that this guy is really nice, and that Jeno really needs some dick, which he doesn’t deny. He’s been feeling so much better in himself, and his bond with Jaemin has grown even stronger after their heart-to-heart - just knowing that there’s someone looking out for him makes Jeno sleep easier at night. So maybe he should get out there a bit more, and if this guy still wants to meet up after being set up with Jeno by <em>Renjun</em> of all people, then he must <em>really</em> be a nice guy. However, there’s only a few hours to go until their movie date, and usually Jeno would have already spent hours in the bathroom by this point, getting himself ready for what will almost definitely turn into a hookup if he wants it to - but he’s still lounging on the couch. </p><p>It’s not that he’s not interested, just… something feels <em>off, </em>but he’s probably just nervous - yeah that must be it, he’s nervous about going on a formal date with a guy he’s only texted briefly with. It must be because he hasn’t been on a proper date in months, because he’s always too tired or not interested or too busy. His friends have been trying to get him back in the dating pool for just as long, because they’re good to him and want him to be happy, but truth be told, Jeno has felt so numb that the idea of opening up to someone else terrifies him. So, yeah, he must just be nervous, he convinces himself of this. </p><p>Still, that does nothing to soothe the flip-flopping of his stomach as he reluctantly drags himself off the couch and into the bathroom. It has no windows, so it’s pitch black inside, but he strips his shirt off as he pads over to the shower to heat up the water, and as he turns back to switch the light on, he nearly jumps out of his skin at what he sees. </p><p>“Jaemin?” he shrieks, covering his bare chest with his balled-up shirt. </p><p>Jaemin has airpods in, and he pulls one out of his ear, looking around in confusion, and he jumps back in shock too, accidentally pushing the door shut with the movement so that the bathroom is plunged into total darkness. </p><p>“What are you doing?!” Jeno squeaks, skin prickling from the exposure to the cool air. </p><p>“I’m finally fixing that broken towel hook,” he says defensively, and as Jeno’s eyes adjust to the dark he can see the faint outline of a screwdriver in his hand, clear evidence of his work behind the door. “What are <em>you </em>doing?” </p><p>“I was just about to take a shower,” Jeno holds his hands up in innocence, as if Jaemin can see him, “I have a date tonight so…” </p><p>“A date?” Jaemin parrots, tone laced with something Jeno can’t quite place. </p><p>“Yeah, is that not allowed?” He’s getting cranky now from squinting in the dark, and he fumbles around, searching for the door and for the lightswitch on the other side of it. </p><p>“A date? Seriously?” Jaemin says incredulously, and Jeno bristles, adrenaline flooding into his system as he clenches his fists at his sides. </p><p>“You got a problem with that? You jealous?” he spits, “God, you’re not my mom.” </p><p>Jaemin scoffs, “I’m not saying you shouldn’t go, but—” </p><p>“But <em>what,</em> Jaemin?” Jeno feels his skin start to heat up, annoyance slipping into anger as he feels his way closer, hoping he can just push Jaemin out of the bathroom. “Why are you being so weird about this?” </p><p>“I can’t tell you,” he huffs, “You’ll think I’m crazy.” </p><p>“Well I kinda think you’re crazy now for not telling me!” </p><p>His skin tingles, a heat growing underneath, and this goes deeper than simple annoyance, Jeno can tell, but he can’t for the life of him figure out why he feels like <em>this. </em>His skin is clammy, and the cold air in the bathroom is making his bare nipples twitch into life, blood flowing into the sensitive buds and firing off all those sensitive nerve endings, and that pisses him off even more. Every brush of his shirt against his skin makes him want to scream, can’t stand the feather-light sensation when the rest of his body is on fire, and <em>yeah </em>he already had sex on the brain since there’s a possibility of it tonight, but it just doesn’t make sense why he’s feeling these two conflicting emotions at the exact same time. </p><p>Heat courses through his veins, and it’s not his rut, he knows what that feels like, it’s something else, and it gets stronger the closer he gets to the door. It’s still pitch black, and that only adds to the bubbling pot of anger, and Jeno just needs to punch something, get all his pent-up energy out, and right now Jaemin is looking like a perfect candidate when he’s acting so <em>strange. </em></p><p>“I can’t explain right now,” Jaemin says, “But just— don’t go.” His voice is <em>wet,</em> and the sound makes everything worse, Jeno’s body and his mind in very different places, especially when there’s no visuals to distract from the clicky sounds of his tongue smacking against his teeth and cheeks as he speaks. </p><p><em>“Why?” </em>Jeno growls, jumping in surprise when he at last finds soft flesh under his hands, his palm landing on what he can only assume to be Jaemin’s chest judging by the height, and Jaemin’s fingers curl around his wrist. </p><p>“Just—” Jaemin’s breathing is laboured, and so is Jeno’s, he can feel the puff of it against his cheek as he tries to intimidate Jaemin out of <em>his</em> fucking bathroom, adrenaline coursing through his veins and making his heart rate spike. “Stay here.” </p><p>“Fuck you,” Jeno grits out, pushing Jaemin until his back hits the door, crowding him against it, and it feels like he’s vibrating out of his skin with frustration. </p><p>“Oh, you’re <em>so</em> not subtle,” Jaemin says, cocky, and before Jeno can ask him what he means, his fingers are gone from around Jeno’s wrist and he grabs the back of his neck, crashing their lips together. </p><p>Every inch of Jeno’s skin sparks and crackles as he presses all of his anger and frustration into Jaemin’s mouth, teeth clacking from the ferocity of it, and that heat inside him sizzles to a boil as Jaemin licks into his mouth as if he’s trying to take all the control from him. Jeno threads his fingers into the hair at the nape of Jaemin’s neck and tugs there, pulling a throaty sound from the younger, and in return he’s nipping at Jeno’s lips, teeth so sharp it makes him gasp from the pain. Jaemin doesn’t soothe over the bites with his tongue, just pulls him closer for a bruising kiss, and this, <em>this </em>is what he needed, something rough to get all his energy out, and that stupid date is the last thing on his mind as Jaemin flips them around, pinning Jeno to the door instead and slotting his knee between Jeno’s. </p><p>Smoke and flames spring from the places where their bodies meet, and Jeno has never been kissed so roughly in his life, ragged breaths stolen in the tiny breaks where Jaemin isn’t licking across every corner of his mouth or sucking on his tongue. The muscle is hot and heavy and slick as Jaemin pushes it between his lips, and Jeno drags him closer, panting harshly as he lets him take what he wants, then backing off to allow Jeno to surge forward, to flick his tongue over the roughness of the roof of Jaemin’s mouth. </p><p>Jaemin grabs at his waist, his hips, pressing him into the door so hard that his back is forced to arch, and Jeno gasps loudly when Jaemin’s thigh makes contact with his crotch. </p><p>“Take your fucking shirt off,” he gasps, rolling his hips down onto the firm muscle, his eyes barely staying open, even though there’s nothing to see in the darkness. </p><p>“I thought you were going out?” Jaemin teases, and Jeno rolls his eyes with a groan. </p><p>“God, shut up, I want you instead.” </p><p>“Watch your mouth,” Jaemin tuts, but he obliges, pulling away a little so he can yank his shirt over his head, and Jeno skirts his fingers over his ribs in its wake. </p><p>He runs his palms all over the warmth of Jaemin’s torso, feeling the soft skin and the firm muscle beneath, finding little places where the muscles are cushioned with fat, and he squeezes there, all while Jaemin hooks his tongue behind his teeth again. Jaemin offers up his thigh once more, this time stepping even closer so that his cock is pressed against Jeno’s hip, and they grind against each other with little gasps and twitches. </p><p>His body feels incredible pressed against Jeno’s, rolling his dancer hips expertly, rutting against the jut of his pelvis with too many layers of fabric to properly feel the shape of him - much to Jeno’s dismay. There’s too little space between them to kiss anymore, so Jeno latches his tongue onto the column of Jaemin’s neck, licking off the salt there and scraping his teeth over the thin skin. He’s rewarded with little throaty noises, Jaemin groaning and shuddering as he raises his knee, and Jeno returns a yelp of his own as the limb presses into his balls, but he doesn’t mind the pain that shoots up his spine every time he rolls his hips down. </p><p>Jaemin is slender but so broad at the same time, his shoulders wide and sturdy as Jeno runs his hands over them, squeezing the muscle under his palms. His touch trails down Jaemin’s back, where his spine dips into a pretty arch, the muscles constantly shifting under Jeno’s hands as Jaemin grinds on him and feels up his body too. Fingers fluttering over Jaemin’s ribs, Jeno lathes his tongue across the juncture where his neck meets his shoulder, dipping into his clavicle just to swirl his tongue into it and nip at the skin there, before pressing wet kisses all along the length of his shoulder. </p><p>The younger brings a hand up to cradle the back of Jeno’s neck, his other hand squeezing along his bicep, and Jeno takes that as his cue to open his mouth even wider. </p><p>“Fuck,” Jaemin gasps as he sinks his fangs into his skin - not hard enough to puncture, but enough pressure that Jaemin bucks his hips harder, seeking out more rough friction to counter the two sharp points of pain. </p><p>“Mmmf,” Jeno grunts, mouth full of Jaemin’s skin, salty and soft. </p><p>He yanks Jeno up to his full height by his hair, and he can’t do anything to hide the desperate whimper that falls from his lips from the rough movement. </p><p>“Jaemin-ah,” he pants, rocking his hard cock against the meat of Jaemin’s thigh, and he knows Jaemin must be smirking as he shoves his fingers into Jeno’s mouth. </p><p>With a startled noise, Jeno relaxes his tongue, letting the two digits slide to the back of his throat and gagging lightly as Jaemin presses down on his tongue. He scrabbles at Jaemin’s hips as he pulls out again, instead sliding Jeno his thumb to suck on, the younger licking up the drool that slips from his mouth, and Jeno whines. It feels so dirty, Jaemin’s thumb pressing heavy in his mouth as his tongue sweeps over Jeno’s bottom lip, collecting the saliva that drips out as he swirls his tongue around the digit, sucking on it messily. </p><p>“God,” Jaemin groans, slipping his thumb out and using it to circle over his nipple, the wet glide of it making Jeno jolt as he reattaches their lips. </p><p>“Jaemin— Nnnh!” he whines into his mouth, swivelling his hips desperately as he feels his cock spurt out more precum, probably soaked through both his underwear and sweats by now. </p><p>Jaemin tweaks his nipple one last time before he seems to get the message, guiding Jeno’s face against his neck again and letting his fingers drift across his twitching stomach, muscles jumping beneath his touch as he feels his way down to Jeno’s waistband. </p><p><em>“Oh—”</em> Is all Jaemin can say as he cups Jeno over his sweats, grinding the heel of his palm against the length of his cock, thumb dancing over the head as it tents his pants. </p><p>Jeno almost begs, the word <em>‘please’ </em>on the tip of his tongue from all the teasing, even though they’ve only been here for a few minutes; the time seems to drag by the longer he’s made to stand here not getting the wet friction that his body craves. The words die on his lips, however, when Jaemin yanks down the waistband of his sweatpants and boxers in one go, before curling his fingers over the head of Jeno’s cock. </p><p>“F— Fuck,” he gasps, sliding his cock through the tight circle of Jaemin’s fist as he spreads his precum down his length, coating it in slippery fluid before pumping him more confidently. Jeno sinks his fangs into Jaemin’s neck, pulling a soft moan out of the younger, made louder when Jeno slips his hand between their bodies and palms Jaemin’s cock over his jeans. </p><p>His movements are sloppy, uncoordinated, as he scrabbles at the front of Jaemin’s pants, switching back and forth between rubbing over his bulge and trying to unbutton his jeans, his grip faltering every time Jaemin slides over the head. Jaemin must have realised by now that Jeno’s cock is distinctly not human, but he doesn’t say anything about the girth or the lack of prominent glans, just digs his thumb into the tip, since Jeno has no frenulum for him to do that to, and the sudden pressure on the little bundle of nerves makes him moan embarrassingly loud. </p><p>“Here,” Jaemin offers, stilling his hand around the base of Jeno’s cock and using the other to unbutton his jeans. Jeno lathes his tongue impatiently over the younger’s neck, picking a new spot to nibble on while he listens to Jaemin’s clothes rustle. </p><p>“Now,” he rasps, voice so low and gravely it makes Jeno’s cock twitch, and Jaemin can most definitely feel it with his fist still wrapped around it. “Before you—” </p><p><em>“Shit—” </em>Jeno breathes as he takes Jaemin’s cock in his hand eagerly. </p><p>The first thing he notices is how fucking <em>wet</em> he is, precum spread all over his length, and not just where the slit is. His precum is thin too, more watery than Jeno’s as it runs over his knuckles, Jaemin twitching in his arms. The second thing he notices is the thing that really makes Jeno’s head spin, because Jaemin’s cock is so… <em>textured.</em> </p><p>Jeno feels tentatively over his length just to make sure, and yeah, Jaemin’s cock is fucking <em>spined.</em> </p><p>“Fuck… Jaemin,” he gasps, voice low and full of awe as he trails his fingers experimentally over him. </p><p>“I— I was about to explain,” Jaemin whispers, an edge of worry to his voice. </p><p>“‘Don’t need to,” Jeno hums, ducking down to suck a bruise into his neck, and Jaemin’s whole body twitches. </p><p>Their desperate pace from the start has dissolved away, and Jeno doesn’t mind it, because he knows how it feels to be different, to fear that someone will reach into your pants and not like what they find. But Jaemin, he doesn’t need to explain himself to Jeno when he’s intimately aware of the fact that he’s not ‘normal’ between his legs himself, at least normal to a human, but Jaemin— he’s the same. </p><p>“You— you’re just like me,” Jeno breathes, nipping at Jaemin’s earlobe. </p><p>“Yeah,” Jaemin replies, just as breathless, “I’ll explain everything later, yeah? Just let me…” </p><p>He squeezes the base of Jeno’s cock, and he grunts at the sudden zip of heat. </p><p>“Yes, fuck, I wanna—” His words are cut off by a little pleasured noise as Jaemin starts stroking him slowly again, dragging his fist over him at a leisurely pace so that Jeno can focus on exploring the new texture beneath his fingers. </p><p>Jaemin isn’t human, that realisation alone has Jeno rock hard in a millisecond, and the younger hums amusedly as he squeezes Jeno’s tip. </p><p>“You’re so hot,” Jeno whispers, gilding his fingers over the spines that cover the entire surface area of Jaemin’s cock. </p><p>The top third of his length displays hundreds of short, blunt spines, arranged almost in a honeycomb pattern, and as Jeno reaches the middle, there are fewer of them but god, they’re <em>big. </em>Longer and wider than the ones at the tip - Jeno would guess around an inch long - these point down at a 45 degree angle, firm but still fairly flexible as Jeno uses his pointer finger to poke at them curiously. The middle of his cock swells out, almost like Jeno’s knot, thicker and more bulbous that the top of it, but unlike Jeno’s dick, it tapers back in again at the base, where the spines become smaller and smaller until he hits smooth skin, wrinkled and soft like Jeno’s sack, and that thought makes him even curiouser. </p><p>Jaemin’s body tenses as Jeno slides his fingers down further still, reaching into his pants, and where he would expect to find a scrotum, his fingers trail over the wetness of Jaemin’s taint. </p><p>“Fuck,” he breathes excitedly. No balls, he can work with that— he can <em>definitely</em> work with that when Jaemin’s cock stands erect in all its spined glory. He wishes he could see it, take in the stunning sight of it pulsing in his hand, but then Jaemin is making a small noise and rocking his hips up, searching for friction, and Jeno is pulled back into focus. </p><p>“Come on,” Jaemin whispers, rubbing his thumb over Jeno’s slanted tip like it’s a clit, and that has him trembling in Jaemin’s hold, wrapping his fist around the base of Jaemin’s cock. </p><p>Jaemin starts up a steady rhythm first, his grip a little too tight that what Jeno would use on himself, but he loves how it makes him gasp and twitch in sensitivity, and he drags his fist over Jaemin’s length a little slower, teasing him. Whines and expletives slip from his mouth endlessly, and he presses those noises into Jaemin’s slick bottom lip, hips twitching as Jaemin jerks him off with a confidence Jeno <em>loves </em>in a man - the confidence that he will, without a doubt, make Jeno cum, his grip strong around Jeno’s length. He holds onto Jaemin’s upper arm with his free hand, feeling the way his body works hard for him under his palm, muscles and tendons pulling together to make Jeno feel so good he’s drooling all over Jaemin’s tongue, messy and ready to fall apart. </p><p>It’s a learning curve, touching Jaemin, since the bigger spines are inflexible, and can’t be pushed upwards, so Jeno has the choice of either stroking him purely from base to tip, like petting a cat, or loosening his grip on the bulge to slide over the spines without catching them. He switches between the two techniques, listening intently to Jaemin’s moans and gasps to find out what feels the best, how he seems to love the mix of the two kinds of touches. </p><p>He speeds his hand up to match Jaemin’s pace, wet, slick noises echoing off the walls of the bathroom, as Jeno has very quickly realised that the reason Jaemin gets so wet <em>everywhere </em>is because he has no slit, no frenulum. He seems to leak precum from between every spine at the head of his cock, which streams down his length and across Jeno’s fist, stringing between his hand and his clothes, even creating a little wet smack every time the tip of his cock bobs and hits his stomach, and Jeno moans at the messiness of it all. </p><p>“God, Jeno, oh my god,” Jaemin moans, releasing his hold on the back of Jeno’s neck to instead brace himself against the door, pinning Jeno in place so that if his knees did indeed give out, Jaemin could still keep him upright. </p><p>“Close,” he whimpers, Jaemin’s fist twisting at the top of every stroke in a way that makes that coil deep inside Jeno curl tighter, ready to give at any second. </p><p>“Me too,” Jaemin moans, his hair tickling Jeno’s cheek as he rests his sweaty forehead on Jeno’s shoulder. </p><p>Jeno muffles his moans that climb steadily in pitch and volume by biting down on whatever part of Jaemin he can reach - his neck, his shoulder - Jaemin doesn’t seem to care, not when every bite makes him moan loudly, tailing off into low groans that tingle at the base of Jeno’s spine. </p><p>“Gonna cum—” Jaemin chokes out, hips trembling and hand still jerking Jeno off as he presses close, rutting once, twice against Jeno’s hip before he cums with a low, rumbling moan. </p><p>“Jaemin!” Jeno moans, jaw dropped as he feels cum leak from every angle of his cock, like sweat from his pores, just like the precum did. It doesn’t spurt out in ribbons like Jeno is used to, instead it streams down his cock, down Jeno’s knuckles as he jerks him through it, Jaemin moaning endlessly as it drips out of him, gasping right into Jeno’s ear. </p><p>It’s so hot, Jaemin cumming in his arms like this, and the whole experience tips Jeno over the edge, body pulling taught as he muffles a cry against Jaemin’s neck and cums, shooting over both of their bare stomachs as Jaemin rubs him through it clumsily, still twitching from his own orgasm. </p><p>They stand there, panting, and for a moment Jeno just has to take it all in, everything they’ve just done. </p><p>Jaemin licks fondly over his neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses into his skin, and right there, in the fucking post-nut clarity, of all times, Jeno realises this is what he wanted - <em>him. </em>He knew he found Jaemin attractive, but that’s very different from being attracted <em>to </em>Jaemin, and Jeno is, he’s been pining for weeks now to get a taste of him, because Jaemin is so fucking hot. Jeno slides his hands tentatively around Jaemin’s waist, ignoring his disgruntled whines as he smears his own wetness everywhere, and simply holds him. </p><p>He doesn't know what to say, so he stays quiet as Jaemin pulls back gently, guiding Jeno forward so he can tug the door open, and when he reaches around the doorframe to flick the light on, Jeno has to close his eyes for a moment to adjust to the sudden brightness. </p><p>When he opens them again, he’s first met with Jaemin’s eyes, blown wide with endorphins, but his gaze soft as he blinks lazily at Jeno, face so close he could kiss him again, and Jaemin would probably let him. His arm slips out from around Jeno’s waist, tucking himself back into his jeans before Jeno can get a look at him, and he pouts at the missed opportunity. Jaemin chucks a finger under his chin, his smile soft but tinged with something else; worry, guilt. </p><p>“You wanna talk now, or?” he asks softly, and <em>yeah,</em> they have a lot to talk about. </p><p>“In a minute, just— let me clean up first,” Jeno replies, throat scratchy, he can already feel the cum that’s sticky on his stomach beginning to turn crusty and gross. </p><p>“Of course,” Jaemin backs away to skirt around Jeno’s body and out of the door, but Jeno stops him by flashing his best puppy eyes. He wants Jaemin to watch this, and watch he does as Jeno lifts his hand to his mouth, licking up the cum striped across his knuckles. It’s bronze in colour, metallic looking, and Jeno would go as far as to call it beautiful, the taste heady and full-bodied as he laps it up, sucking the liquid off his fingers and giggling as some of it drips onto the lino before he could get his mouth on it. </p><p>“Jesus christ,” Jaemin laughs breathily, his eyes sparkling as he pulls Jeno’s hand away, and leans in to kiss the taste of his cum off his lips. He doesn’t use tongue, just kisses Jeno softly for a moment too short, until he pulls away and slips out of the bathroom. </p><p>Jeno finds him lounging on his bed when he returns, his hands and stomach now washed clean. </p><p>“Don’t get cum on my sheets, I swear to god,” he warns with a smile. </p><p>“‘S alright, it’s dry by now,” Jaemin drawls, running a hand sensually over his bare stomach, and Jeno rolls his eyes at him, leaving the bathroom door propped open. Jeno swats at him playfully with his t-shirt as he passes, Jaemin yelping and then glaring at him as he shuts the bathroom door. </p><p>He dumps his shirt and sweats in the laundry basket, changing into a clean set as he listens to the tap running. Pulling out his phone, he checks the time, and <em>shit,</em> he’s not got long if he wants to make his date. </p><p>Jeno glances at the bathroom door and sighs - he never wanted this date. Sorry Renjun, but as much as he kept telling Jeno he’s a nice guy, he just wants to be with Jaemin tonight. He texts him quickly, hearing the faucet squeak as it turns off: </p><p>
  <em>I’m really sorry, I’m not going to be able to make it tonight. You seem like a great guy but I’m just not ready for dating yet, sorry again. </em>
</p><p>He texts back immediately: <em>It’s okay, don’t worry! Would you mind if I saw the movie with a friend instead? </em></p><p>
  <em>Not at all, and don’t worry about paying me for my ticket, I owe you that, at least. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>You don’t owe me anything man but thanks, take care of yourself. Text me if you change your mind haha </em>
</p><p>Jeno locks his phone, tucking it into his pocket with a sigh as the bathroom door opens, and Jaemin steps out in a long sleeved shirt and sweats, wrinkled from sitting in his laundry basket since this morning. </p><p>“You ready?” he asks softly, hair ruffled and face fresh from washing it quickly in the sink, and he looks… <em>pretty. </em></p><p>“Yeah,” Jeno breathes, stomach churning with nerves, “Where do we even start?” </p><p>Jaemin flops down onto his bed, the collar of his shirt dropping to reveal all the bruises and bite marks littered across his neck. Jeno can only see his neck and collarbones, but he’s sure there are more marks underneath his clothes, and he makes a mental note to ask later if he can even up the other side where his neck is bare. </p><p>He takes the small ashtray and a lighter from his nightstand and brings them over to the bed, settling on his back next to Jaemin before lighting up the cigarette he had left in the glass tray that morning. His skin itches for physical touch now that the afterglow has settled in, and he tentatively shuffles a little closer until he can feel the heat radiating off Jaemin’s body. </p><p>“Your dick,” he says, exhaling a column of smoke in the vague direction of the window. Jaemin makes a startled choking noise, and he elabores, “Let’s start with your dick.” </p><p>“Oh— Y- Yeah, I can do that.” Jaemin clears his throat, avoiding Jeno’s eyes. He’s lying on his stomach, ankles criss-crossed together, and his bangs fall into his eyes as he tips his head down to fidget with the comforter. “I— Uh, I’ve never told anyone this before outside of my family, so please, uh, please just try to believe me.” </p><p>“Okay,” Jeno replies simply, mind racing with questions of what could possibly come out of Jaemin’s mouth next. </p><p>“You know now that I’m not human, well, my parents aren’t either, or my entire family. We’re a different race entirely - dragons.” </p><p>Jeno blinks. Dragons - a name he had only ever read about, a secretive and rare race, a race that almost everyone on earth believed to be extinct by now. They show up in the news every ten years or so, but no one has even been able to even estimate how many dragons there are left in the world. Most, according to folklore, live in remote locations where they never have to see a human, and understandably so, humans haven’t exactly been kind to dragons historically, hunted them for sport or to attempt to harness their powers. Jeno looks the younger up and down, he certainly doesn’t look like what he would picture a dragon to be - a 10-foot-long snake with claws and scales and no human features whatsoever - like Mr Na’s bronze dragon statue. He thinks about it, and actually, all of the dragons he’s seen on the news have looked human, but granted, so is every living werewolf Jeno has seen. Like werewolves, their powers and appearance must have been watered down over the millenia, tainted by human genes to leave - this. </p><p>“You— You— Oh my god…” Jeno just about manages to stutter out, speechless. </p><p>“I’m trusting you not to go around telling people, okay?” Jaemin says, staring deep into Jeno’s eyes. </p><p>“No, no, I won’t tell a soul.” </p><p>“Okay, good,” Jaemin nods, clearing his throat again, “I look like— like this because part of me is still reptilian, but truthfully, we’re only different from humans in the minor details.” </p><p>Jeno takes a drag from his cigarette - this feels so fucking surreal that he can’t tell if he’s dreaming or not. </p><p>“You’ve probably read all the stories of dragons protecting their treasure, right? We have those, but not gold or jewels - not necessarily. Our treasure is anything that has been very precious to us for a large portion of our lives, and being with it makes us happy, so happy that if we’re apart from it for a long time, we can die of heartbreak.” </p><p>God. It must’ve been so hard for Jaemin to keep this all under wraps his whole life, never telling a soul. </p><p>“What’s your treasure?” Jeno asks tentatively when Jaemin pauses, eyes still downcast. </p><p>“Mom,” he smiles weakly, and Jeno’s heart aches along with his, “and… you.” </p><p>“Me?” Jeno says after a beat. </p><p>“Yeah, from all those years we spent together as kids, it just happened, we have no control over it.” </p><p>“Oh…” he breathes simply, mind racing, trying to take everything in. </p><p>“So… I wanted to tell you for weeks now that I came back here for you. After mom died, it was like I lost a piece of myself. I’d already been using, nothing too hard, but after that was when I started getting really, <em>really</em> high to try and fill the hole that she left. It helped a little, but I just couldn’t cope, I couldn't get out of bed, couldn’t eat, couldn’t speak - that’s when Dad told me to go to you. He talked to me about it, that I would fly here, get a job, find you, and even if you still hated me, it would be better than this, right?” He laughs sadly, and Jeno can’t ignore how glassy his eyes are, lashline wet with unshed tears. </p><p>“I— I need you, Jeno. That’s the truth of it, that’s why I was so happy to see you that night when you found me half-dead. It was my own stupid fault, I’d been in the country for one day and was already trying to buy enough speed to put me in the hospital, and I got bitten, but then you were there, saving my life in more ways than one. Even if you didn’t want me to be here, I had to come back or I could’ve died, and I— I don’t even want to think what would’ve happened to Dad if he had lost us both. I flew here with nothing because I spent all my money on Mom’s funeral, her wake, and her tombstone - I wanted the best that I could possibly give her.” </p><p>“God,” Jeno sniffles, breath hitching, “All this over some stupid university application.” </p><p>“It’s alright,” Jaemin says sorrowfully, but it’s not alright, “You had no way of knowing everything that happened after I left. I didn’t really want to go, I couldn’t bear to leave you behind, but after we fought… there was no reason for me to stay in a country you didn’t want me to be in.” </p><p>“I did want you,” Jeno whispers, “I just— didn’t know it at the time, I needed some space.” </p><p>He takes a deep breath, allowing himself to think about that time again, when university was the most important thing on his mind, as opposed to simply making it through the month on a piss-poor healthcare salary. </p><p>“You broke my trust, Jaemin,” he says calmly; too many years have passed for him to still be angry. “You went behind my back and put in an application in my name, and it didn’t matter that you pretended to be me - what mattered was that you did it without <em>telling</em> me. I thought we told each other everything, and I just felt so… betrayed. Shit, it feels so stupid to say that now, but at the time, it really hurt me.” </p><p>“I’m sorry - truly,” Jaemin replies, once again seeking out eye contact as he speaks his apology directly into Jeno’s soul. “I’ve wanted to say those words to you for so many years, and I won’t ever be able to articulate how truly, truly sorry I am.” </p><p>Jeno shakes his head, “You're not the one who needs to be sorry.” </p><p>Jaemin cocks an eyebrow, and Jeno huffs out a small laugh, “Okay, you do need to be sorry.” </p><p>They laugh quietly, diffusing the tension, and Jeno reaches out to lace their fingers together, Jaemin holding onto him tight. </p><p>“What I mean is, I’m sorry too, Jaemin, so fucking sorry for the way I treated you. You fucked up, but you didn’t deserve everything we had to be thrown away like that, and for me to hold onto it for so long. I just… I don’t even know what I was thinking, grudges are in my blood, but that’s no excuse, and I’ve regretted it for all these years. That day, when you asked me about working with kids, and being a role model, I couldn’t stand it because I just felt so fucking guilty. How could I claim I can set an example after what I did to you? I couldn’t, and I’ve tried so hard to make things right, but the guilt never leaves.” </p><p>“I know how you feel, that’s why I wanted to just talk about it, tell you everything, and maybe we can help each other feel less guilty? I have my regrets too, and my hurt, because I spent <em>so</em> long hatching that plan. I did all my research into universities, spent hours and hours on it after school every day, I even studied your essays, your writing style. Hell, I put more effort into your application than any of mine because I just wanted you to be happy, I wanted you to be successful, and for you to hate it as much as you did? It hurt, not just because I had put in so much time and effort, but because it was meant to be a gesture of how much I cared about you, and you hated me for it.” </p><p>Jaemin takes a breath, closing his eyes and exhaling shakily like he’s in pain, and Jeno recognises it because he feels it too - that white hot poker of regret and of re-opened wounds. </p><p>“I’m so sorry,” Jeno says, “From the bottom of my heart, I’m sorry, and I wish we could’ve had this conversation three years ago, but we were just two dumb teenagers.” </p><p>“Oh, thanks very much,” Jaemin says sarcastically, and Jeno shoves his arm playfully. </p><p>“You know I don’t mean it like that.” He squeezes Jaemin’s hand in his, and Jaemin squeezes back. “But, seriously, I guess I’ve just always felt so inferior, because I’ll never be like my dad, I’ll never be like the full-blooded werewolves, and back then I had this obsession with making it by myself. I didn’t want help, I didn’t want pity, I wanted to get there on my own. For years, I was so clouded by my own selfish ambition that I didn’t realise it was taking over my life, and for the record, I would’ve hated university, it’s just not for me, but I wanted to be able to say that I got there of my own skill and determination.” </p><p>Jaemin’s thumb strokes over the back of Jeno’s knuckles, “I had no idea that meant so much to you. Jeno… why didn’t you talk to me about these things?” </p><p>He shrugs, “I just didn’t know how, and I didn’t want to ask anyone for help, or admit I was scared, because I was so scared of failure that it ate me up inside. But I was wrong, I should’ve opened up, I should’ve trusted you back then like we trusted each other with everything else, but I just didn’t want to get hurt.” </p><p>“Jeno, you may have tried to avoid getting hurt, but that just hurt us both in the end.” </p><p>“I know,” he sighs, bottom lip trembling, “I fucked everything up.” </p><p>“You kinda did, and I did too, but you’re trying to fix it now, and that honestly means the world to me. We’re both different now, more grown-up, and when you came to me that day in the convenience store and asked me to stay with you, I knew that you really wanted me back in your life. That gesture of kindness alone meant so much to me, it meant that I would get my chance to fix things, to try and make you feel for me now like you did back then.” </p><p>“You’re getting there,” Jeno smiles, thumb circling over the back of Jaemin’s hand. </p><p>“Good,” he smiles back, eyes soft and gentle, “Just, don’t be afraid to talk to me this time, you can be open with me, and I promise I would never judge you for anything, you know this.” </p><p>“I will,” Jeno nods, “I’ll talk to you, tell you how I’m feeling, when I’m happy, when I’m sad, all of it.” </p><p>Jaemin nods, satisfied. “Then I’m happy. You feel any better?” </p><p>“Much better,” he says gently, and he means it. </p><p>“Come here,” Jaemin smiles, tugging carefully at his hand, and that’s all it takes for Jeno to stub out his cigarette and shuffle into Jaemin’s waiting arms, where Jaemin cradles his face in his hands and kisses him softly. </p><p>“All better,” he hums, placing his warm palm over Jeno’s heart, rubbing their noses together sweetly, and Jeno can’t help but giggle, still swept up in the afterglow of sex. </p><p><em>Sex.</em> He just had sex with Jaemin. </p><p>…And he loved it. </p><p>Shit. </p><p>“Shhh, cuddle time,” Jeno mumbles, brain-dead from the orgasm and from their talk, but he feels lighter now, like he’s floating on the ceiling from all the guilt that’s been lifted off his shoulders. </p><p>“Okay, okay,” Jaemin giggles, rolling onto his back so Jeno can happily scoot closer, pressing himself up against the younger with his head on his chest. He can hear Jaemin’s heartbeat, steady and strong, thrumming away beneath his ribs, and Jeno smooths his palm over his chest, pulling himself closer still as Jaemin wraps his arms around him. </p><p>Tucking one arm around Jeno’s waist, Jaemin noses at the top of his head, rubbing his cheek against his dark hair, and Jeno sighs happily. He settles for a moment, breathing in Jaemin’s scent deeply, and then squirms around until he can press his face into Jaemin’s neck, kissing him there sweetly. Jaemin lets him mouth at his neck, making appreciative little hums as he rubs Jeno’s back, since Jeno doesn’t have the brainpower for anything that could turn Jaemin on, just small kisses, feeling the way Jaemin’s throat vibrates when he hums and the warmth against his lips. </p><p>He wiggles upwards to kiss the vampire bite, now faded so much so that it’s only noticeable if you knew it was there. Bypassing Jaemin’s lips, he then kisses the bridge of his nose, where he had been scratched the day they were reunited, then flops back down onto his chest and takes Jaemin’s hand to gently peck kisses over the faint scars across his knuckles. </p><p>“Mmm, don’t,” he whines when Jaemin’s fingers thread into his hair, blunt nails scratching slowly over his scalp. </p><p>“Whyyyy?” Jaemin teases, voice soft and fond. </p><p>“‘Cause I’ll fall asleep if you keep doing that.” </p><p>“Hmm, sleep well then, beautiful,” Jaemin says, laughing into Jeno’s hair as he flops down on top of him, face buried in Jaemin’s collarbones as his muscles relax and his breathing slows down, fingers still clutching on tightly to Jaemin’s shirt. </p><p>🐺</p><p>
  <em>March 12th 2021</em>
</p><p>It’s been two days, and Jeno still feels like he’s walking on a cloud. Renjun catches on straight away when he meets Jeno for lunch at the doctors surgery’s cafe. </p><p>“You had sex, didn’t you,” he smirks, pressing the Latte button on the instant coffee machine. </p><p>“I don’t kiss and tell,” Jeno replies simply, unable to stop a smile creeping onto his face. </p><p>“Oh no, you didn’t have sex, you <em>made love,” </em>Renjun says with a disgusted look on his face. He takes his coffee and homemade bento to a free table, and Jeno trails behind him with his plate of a cheeseburger and salad. </p><p>“I did not,” he says indignantly, face already heating up. “We just… had fun.” </p><p>“Uh huh,” Renjun deadpans, quirking an eyebrow at him, and Jeno is going to have to spill the beans if he wants to live to see another day. </p><p>“I gotta be honest Injunnie, I didn’t go on that date, I— I was with someone else.” </p><p>“You didn’t?!” Renjun cries, eyes full of betrayal, “Jeno, I put so much work into getting that date for you!” he whines. </p><p>“I know, but I <em>told you</em> I didn’t want it! Don’t worry, I wasn’t rude to him or anything, I just texted him that I wasn’t interested.” </p><p>“And then you went on Grindr,” Renjun huffs, rolling his eyes and aggressively chewing on his vegan sushi. </p><p>“Nooo!” Jeno protests, “We already knew each other.” </p><p>“Oh my god, Jeno, just tell me who it was,” he sighs, setting his chopsticks down. </p><p>“It’s uh— It was Jaemin,” he murmurs, staring intently at the slice of tomato he’s been pushing around his plate for the past few minutes, and then changes his mind and takes a huge bite of his cheeseburger while Renjun splutters just to give himself some stalling time. </p><p>“You— You <em>what?!” </em>Renjun whisper-yells, eyes bugging out of his head, before he plants his forehead on the table and groans so loud that it attracts glances from the next table. </p><p>“Injunnie…” Jeno giggles, shaking him by the shoulder a little when he doesn’t respond. </p><p>“I can’t fucking believe it,” he mumbles into the table, “You slept with Jaemin? Na Jaemin?” </p><p>“Uh huh.” </p><p>“When? How? Why? Just— <em>God,</em> I knew there was something up with you two at the bar,” Renjun says with a shake of his head. </p><p>“It was on Wednesday, because he was pissing me off, and because I think he’s in love with me.” Jeno ticks them off on his fingers, and for once, Renjun is speechless. </p><p>“Yeah, I know, it broke my brain too,” he laughs when Renjun just stares at him, then takes a bite of his burger. </p><p>“Oh my god,” Renjun hisses, and Jeno laughs again, giggling hysterically. “No, <em>oh my god, </em>eleven o’clock,”he repeats, pointing subtly to the other side of the room, and Jeno turns to follow his gaze. </p><p>It’s Jaemin. A sunshine-bright smile on his face as he walks over to their table, his powder blue hair bouncing with every stride. He’s wearing a black fuzzy coat, a sweatshirt and joggers, and his sweatshirt is so oversized on him that the neckline sits <em>way</em> too low for being in a hospital with his neck looking like <em>that.</em> Jeno stares, open mouthed, as he gives the pair a little wave and skips over to them, and Renjun whispers another little <em>‘oh my god’.</em> </p><p>“What’s he doing here?” he hisses. </p><p>“I have no idea,” Jeno whispers back, finally closing his mouth as Jaemin comes within earshot. </p><p>“Heyyy!” he grins, hands in his coat pockets, and his nose is bright red from the cold - he looks like a cherub. </p><p>“Hi Jaemin,” Jeno smiles, voice sickeningly fond, and he can <em>feel </em>Renjun rolling his eyes. </p><p>“What’s got you so pumped up?” Renjun asks evilly. </p><p>“Nothing in particular,” Jaemin hums, voice a higher pitch than usual, almost a coo. “You forgot this, I came along to give it to you.” </p><p>He hands Jeno his spare lighter, and he takes it with a puzzled look. </p><p>“Thanks, Jaemin, you didn’t have to,” he says, smiling up at Jaemin - he’s standing so close that Jeno has to crane his neck up to look him in the eye. </p><p>“Nonsense, I was just passing on my way to the gym so it’s no problem. Anyway, I’ll see you at home, yeah?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Jeno replies, breathless, “See you later.” </p><p>“Bye Injun-ah,” he smiles, eyes creasing. </p><p>“See you round.” </p><p>Renjun pops another piece of sushi into his mouth, smiling gleefully at Jeno. </p><p>“His gym is on the other side of town, isn’t it?” Jeno nods. “You didn’t forget your lighter either.” He nods again, ears flushing as red as the tomato he’s still pushing around his plate. “And you did <em>that </em>to his neck?” Another nod. “Fucking hell, he <em>is</em> in love with you,” he groans dramatically, as if this is the worst revelation ever. </p><p>“Y’know…” Jeno starts. </p><p>“Oh god,” Renjun interrupts, “You too?” </p><p>“I think so.” </p><p>🐺</p><p>Jeno hears about this from Donghyuck and Yukhei, of course, sat on FaceTime with them that evening, both of them not quite as horrified as Renjun, but still shocked. Hyuck is more curious, asking questions about the details, and Jeno gleefully tells him all about how Jaemin had pinned him against the wall and shoved his fingers in his mouth. His gut still twists with arousal every time he thinks about that. </p><p>“Hyuckkie, he keeps wearing all these low cut shirts and it’s so—” he lets out a quiet scream with his fist in his mouth, and the three boys on the other end of the line laugh. </p><p>“Ooooo,” Donghyuck sing-songs, like he’s a middle schooler with a crush, “He likes you~” </p><p>“We’ve established this, honey,” Renjun says, and Donghyuck shoved him. </p><p>“What does it mean?” Jeno whines, jumping in before they can start wrestling on the floor - he’s seen that happen too many times. </p><p>“Means he’s proud of them,” Yukhei says, and Jeno ignores the knowing smiles that his boyfriends exchange. “He’s showing them off, wants people to know he has someone who can— do things like that to him.” </p><p>“Shit,” Jeno breathes, “Really?” </p><p>“Uh, yeah,” Yukhei grins, as if this is the most obvious thing in the world. </p><p>“How does it make you feel when you see him like that?” Donghyuck hums, pointer finger resting on his chin. </p><p>“I—” he starts, cheeks heating up. In all honesty, it makes him super fucking horny. Whenever he sees those bite marks and bruises, he just wants to pin Jaemin against the nearest surface and do it all again, make out with him, mark him up, grind into his fist until— </p><p>“No, wait, don’t answer that!” Donghyuck laughs, and Jeno blushes deeper, because of course his best friends would know <em>exactly </em>what he’s thinking. “In that case, you want it to happen again, right? Then just flirt with him.” </p><p>“How?” Jeno whines again, already flustered at the mere thought of flirting with Jaemin: a natural-born flirt. </p><p>“Compliment him, tell him he’s hot, or smart - god, he’s a Leo so if you stroke his ego, he’ll be in your bed within the minute, I guarantee it,” Donghyuck grins slyly, like a cat cornering its prey. </p><p>“Gemini bitch boy,” Jeno grumbles; an old nickname that Renjun used to use when the two first started hooking up, and he laughs in delight when Donghyuck raises his fist to the camera, Renjun and Yukhei leaping up to hold him back. </p><p>Donghyuck is whisked away across the room, feet kicking in the air as Yukhei picks him up with his arms wrapped tightly around his middle, and Jeno laughs as he drops him on the other side of their L-shaped couch, leaving Hyuck to crawl back over to them, Yukhei now taking centre frame. </p><p>“You should go for it, Jeno,” Yukhei says earnestly, “You know he likes you, so what have you got to lose?” </p><p>Jeno hums, “I’ll think about it.” </p><p>“Jaemin, just fuck him already!” Renjun yells, cut off by Donghyuck slapping a hand over his mouth, and Jeno nearly falls out of his chair with laughter. </p><p>“He’s at work right now, stupid,” he giggles, clutching at his sides, and Renjun settles back down dispondantly, slapping Donghyuck’s hands away but letting Yukhei slip an arm around his waist to pull him into his side. </p><p>“Listen to your hyungs, Jen, we’ll help you get your man,” Donghyuck grins, and Jeno could strangle him right now. </p><p>“I’m older than you,” he scowls, arms crossed over his chest, and Renjun cries out in delight. </p><p>“Ah, cute!” </p><p>Jeno scowls even harder, “Well then, I’m gonna go make Jaemin some dinner, love you guys.” </p><p>“Love you too, lover boy,” Donghyuck hums, waving goodbye. </p><p>“You too,” Renjun and Yukhei say in unison, and Yukhei picks up the phone to end the call, all three of them waving sweetly. </p><p>Jeno sighs - seduce Jaemin huh? It’s certainly a very Donghyuck-flavoured plan, but if it gets him an experience like that again, maybe it’s worth a shot? </p><p>He’s due back in half an hour, so that gives Jeno time to whip something up for the two of them while he thinks of how the hell he’s going to flirt without making a fool of himself. </p><p>Jeno is still in the kitchen when Jaemin comes home, the door unlocking with a squeak. The pan of fried eggs sizzles noisily, so the next Jeno hears of him is his voice, smooth like honey as he sings along to the Ariana Grande song playing from the bluetooth speaker. </p><p>“You’re taking my song recommendations?” Jaemin hums, sidling up to the counter, and he looks absolutely ravishing, his American accent so good that he’s practically fluent. He cocks his hip against the countertop, his company polo shirt unbuttoned and cheeks flushed from walking home in the cold, hair ruffled from running his hands through it, and Jeno could devour him right here. The concealer on his neck is starting to rub off, revealing the dark bruises and teeth marks below, and Jeno can’t help that his gaze lingers on them long enough that it’s not subtle checking-out anymore. </p><p>“You have good taste,” he shrugs, turning back to the pan and adding ground pepper and spices. </p><p>“That smells nice,” Jaemin says, leaning closer to take a sniff, and Jeno lets him crowd into his space, Jaemin’s hand mere millimetres away from his on the counter. </p><p>“Go sit down, it’ll be ready soon.” He tries to hide how strained his voice comes out by clearing his throat, and Jaemin just quirks an eyebrow and pads off to the lounge. </p><p>“Couch?” he calls over his shoulder, “I can’t be bothered to sit at the table.” </p><p>“Couch,” Jeno agrees, stomach growling. </p><p>He plates up their bibimbap, pouring Jaemin a big glass of cola to boot, and the smile on his face when Jeno brings his dish over makes all the effort worth it. </p><p>“You’ve never cooked for me like this before,” Jaemin hums, tucking in as Jeno retrieves his own dish from the kitchen, “What’s the occasion?” </p><p>He curls up on the couch next to Jaemin with a comfortable amount of space left between them, his dish in his lap, “You were working late so, I just- thought I would return the favour for all those times you’ve cooked for me.” </p><p>“That’s sweet,” Jaemin purrs, cheeks full of noodles, and Jeno smiles bashfully before digging in. </p><p>They talk about work, about how Jeno is going to visit his parents at the weekend, about their new rota for sharing the PC. Once their dishes are empty, their stomachs comfortably full, Jeno switches on the TV, and they sit in comfortable silence, Jaemin occasionally scrolling on his phone, and the itch under Jeno’s skin grows more prominent again, until it’s all he can think about. </p><p>“What’s the matter, Jeno?” Jaemin asks, not looking up from his phone, like he’s been waiting to ask that for a while. </p><p>“Eh?” he hums, “Nothing, I’m all good.” </p><p>There’s a moment of silence, spare for the Real Housewives rerun playing in the background, and Jeno picks at his cuticles nervously. Jaemin sighs amusedly, and switches the TV off before turning onto his side to face Jeno, scooting closer until their knees touch. </p><p>“What’s wrong?” he asks again, want pooling into his eyes, voice low and raspy, and he must catch the way Jeno’s breath hitches as he ghosts his thumb over his bottom lip. </p><p>“I— I’m—” he stutters, unable to think with Jaemin so close to him, playing with his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger and squeezing it gently. </p><p>“You’re an open book, Jeno, just tell me what you want.” </p><p>“You,” he breathes, palm sliding experimentally up Jaemin’s thigh. </p><p>He blinks once, twice, holding his breath, until the tension snaps and Jaemin surges forward, grabbing the back of his neck to kiss him. It’s not as rough as the first time, but still aggressive as Jaemin nips at his lips like he’s trying to bruise them while Jeno lets out soft little noises, before slipping Jaemin his tongue. </p><p>He’s in Jaemin’s lap in seconds, swinging his leg over his thighs to land squarely in his lap, not wasting any time as he grinds down on the bulge beneath him, that plumps up with every swivel of his hips. Groaning around Jaemin’s tongue, he wriggles his hand between their bodies to try and pull Jaemin’s work slacks down, but the younger stops him with a hand around his wrist, guiding Jeno’s hand back up to his chest. He doesn’t push it if Jaemin isn’t ready for that yet, and instead rolls his hips back, pushing his ass out. </p><p>“Wanna see you cum in your pants, just like this,” he groans, grabbing two generous handfuls of Jeno’s ass, and, <em>oh, </em>Jeno forgets all about wanting to see his dick. </p><p>The pace makes his hamstrings and quads burn, but Jeno endures it for the reward of Jaemin moaning into his mouth as he rocks his hips up to meet Jeno’s desperate thrusts. They make out messily until they don’t have the coordination for it anymore, then Jaemin pulls him in close and bites down on his neck. </p><p><em>‘Fangs’ </em>is the only thing Jeno can think as he gasps loudly, hips stuttering, his head tossed back - because Jaemin’s lower incisors are so pointed, so sharp, that there’s no way they’re a product of his human side. </p><p>Jaemin forms his marks lower than Jeno did, sucking purple and red into the skin along his shoulders and collarbones. He even pulls the hem of his shirt down to leave a few hickies on his pecs, where he squeezes them together like they’re tits, groping him over his shirt, then soothing over the bruises with his tongue while he rolls his thumbs across Jeno’s nipples. </p><p>Bucking his hips faster, Jeno calls Jaemin’s name as he cums, hot and sticky in his boxers, and it only takes a few more messy grinds until Jaemin is cumming too, clutching Jeno tight to his chest. He pets down Jeno’s spine as they pant in each other’s arms, and his thighs shake uncontrollably, the spent muscles screaming at him that he’s going to struggle walking for a few days. </p><p>🐺</p><p>Struggle walking he does, wincing every time he moves to stand up or sit down, an ache burning along the backs of his thighs, but the pain is a constant little reminder of Jaemin, along with the bruises on his body that he presses on throughout the day just to feel that delicious sting. </p><p>Jaemin replaces old aches with new ones every few days, even when Jeno is exhausted from his late shift, he’ll crawl under the sheets with Jaemin on the sofabed, where the younger will press his chest to Jeno’s back and curl a hand around his cock, his mouth latched onto his throat. It’s addictive, the access he gets to Jaemin’s lips and hands at almost any time of day, there to hold him and make him feel so good that he forgets all his stress and worry. If they fuck in the evening, Jaemin crawls into Jeno’s bed with him in a new way, the kind where he’s still there in the morning when Jeno’s alarm goes off, snuggled into Jeno’s chest and snoring lightly. </p><p>Sure, it is a shame that he’s never seen Jaemin naked; the closest he ever got was when Jaemin had woken up still as horny as when they went to sleep - too tired for any physical exertion - so he’d slipped his cock between Jeno’s bare thighs from behind him, the elder still half asleep as Jaemin whimpered in his ear and clung onto him like a boa constrictor. </p><p>He tries not to think about it too much, because they’re taking it slow (allegedly), and Jaemin has his silent little ways of showing he’s going to be here for a while. His toothbrush now stays permanently next to Jeno’s in the bathroom, his coffee cup in the kitchen cupboard, half of Jeno’s wardrobe dedicated to Jaemin’s clothes, all of their meals eaten together. They’re always physically affectionate after sex, but Jeno has started plopping himself down in Jaemin’s lap whenever he fancies, earning himself kisses across his shoulderblades and warm arms around his waist that hold him tight. </p><p>It’s still too cold for clubbing, but they go out with their friends to the bar most weekends, and it always ends the same, tiding themselves over with drunken kisses, until they get through the front door of their apartment and the clothes come off. Jeno’s rut even skips for that cycle, his libido too fulfilled to need anything more, and he’s almost relieved when the date marked in his phone’s calendar passes without a hitch - he’s never been with a partner during a rut, and he knows that neither he or Jaemin are ready for that challenge yet. </p><p>Jeno’s phone buzzes in his pocket one afternoon when he’s in Jaemin’s lap, the younger kissing down his neck. </p><p>“You can answer it,” Jaemin hums, preoccupying himself with darkening up a bruise from the start of the week, on Jeno’s bicep this time. </p><p>“Hey,” he says as he swipes his thumb to pick up the call. </p><p>“Jeno,” Donghyuck says, “Stop ignoring my texts, when are you going to make things official with Jaemin? You can’t be fuckbuddies forever.” </p><p>Jeno glances down at the head of shaggy hair beneath him, Jaemin recently dyed it pink, and he looks unbelievably good. The TV is too loud for Jaemin to hear Donghyuck’s voice, and Jeno pets his hair gently as he nips at the skin. </p><p>“I’m not ignoring you, I’m just busy. And I’ve told you a hundred times - soon.” </p><p>“Alright fine,” Donghyuck huffs, “Text me when you’re free so I can interrogate you some more?” he whines. </p><p>“Of course, bye Hyuckkie,” he smiles, tossing his phone onto the couch. </p><p>“What’d he want?” Jaemin asks curiously, pulling Jeno down to settle against his chest. </p><p>“Just wanted to know when I’m going to pay him back for the papers he bought me.” </p><p>“Mm,” Jaemin hums, “Movie?” </p><p>“Hell yeah,” Jeno replies, sliding off Jaemin’s lap so he can set up the TV. </p><p>Jaemin settles across his lap instead as soon as Iron Man starts playing, Jeno’s fingers slipping into his hair as he makes himself comfortable, a cushion held against his chest and his cheek pressed against Jeno’s thighs. </p><p>“Good?” he mumbles, scratching at Jaemin’s scalp to get his attention. He only lets out a little hum from him in response as he pats Jeno’s knee fondly. </p><p>They get fifteen minutes into the movie until Jaemin breaks the comfortable silence - Jeno had divided his attention pretty evenly between watching the action scenes and playing with Jaemin’s hair, tucking strands of it behind his ear, then untucking them again. </p><p>“I’ve been thinking - you ever wanted to try shrooms?” </p><p>Jeno splutters on a laugh, “Where the hell has this come from?” </p><p>“Listen! I have some, and I don’t wanna be using drugs anymore, so rather than throwing them away or trying to sell them, why don’t we have a once-in-a-lifetime trip, and then I’m done?” </p><p>Jeno thinks about it for a moment. “Can you get addicted to mushrooms?” </p><p>“I have about ten caps, which isn’t even a half dose for one person, so if we split it fifty-fifty you’ll be just fine,” Jaemin says casually, shifting the cushion in his arms. </p><p>“I meant for you, Jaem, you’re the one who uses a lot of this stuff, you sure you don’t want to just throw it away?” </p><p>“Oh, I thought I already told you?” he replies, confused, and rolls onto his back so he can face Jeno. </p><p>“Told me what?” </p><p>“Dragons, because our treasure is like an addiction to us, we can’t get addicted to anything else - psychologically or physically.” </p><p>“Wow… Seriously?” Jeno gasps, no wonder Jaemin spoke about his drug habits like it wasn’t a big deal. </p><p>“What would I gain from making that up?” Jaemin teases, taking Jeno’s hand. “You don’t have to decide right now, and I understand if you don’t wanna, but I just thought it could be, y’know, special.” </p><p>“Special?” Jeno parrots, already melting in the chocolate-warm gaze that Jaemin fixes him with. </p><p>“Yeah, we could just trip out together and listen to music, watch movies, make out - all the stuff we usually do, just a bit more floaty.” </p><p>“I think ‘vibe’ is the word you’re looking for, Mr Experienced Stoner,” Jeno laughs, studying the curve of Jaemin’s smile as he laughs too, trying to imprint it permanently in his memory. “I can’t have it in my system at work though, so we’d have to take it at least 24 hours before.” </p><p>“Got it,” Jaemin smiles, saluting him, “Step into my office after the movie and we’ll pick a day.” </p><p>“The movie that we’ve missed half of,” Jeno pouts as he rolls over again to face the screen. </p><p>“You’ve seen this one a million times!” Jaemin protests, but he still grabs Jeno’s hand and places it back in his hair again. “And by the way, I like when you call me that,” he mumbles. </p><p>“Call you what? ‘Mr Experienced Stoner’?” he teases, and Jaemin bursts out laughing, slapping his hand on Jeno’s knee. </p><p>“Noooo,” he whines, “‘Jaem’... I like it.” </p><p>“Noted,” Jeno smiles, tickling his fingers under Jaemin’s chin like he would to his beloved cats, before settling them back in his hair again. </p><p>🐺</p><p>
  <em>April 2nd 2021</em>
</p><p>Jeno has never been high before, he was scared of authority as a teenager and too paranoid about getting caught to even consider it - never mind the fact that his friends weren’t part of that crowd. It wasn’t that he was afraid of the drugs themselves, just the idea of being found out, and how the hell he would explain it to his parents, his teachers, future employers. However, there’s no one to come looking for them as they curl up in Jeno’s bed, each with a cup of mushroom tea in their hands. Jeno had constructed a nest of sorts, piling up all their soft, comfortable things on the bed, along with water, snacks, and anything else they might need. </p><p>It’s a very weak dose, Jaemin tells him, not really enough to trip out on, but Jeno finds that the music playing softly from his bedside speaker seems to sound different the longer they sit there, propped up against the pillows. It almost pulses, vocals and instrumentals blending into one noise as Jeno studies his bedspread - the colours all seem brighter, and he taps his feet together too, watching the colour of his socks become more vibrant before his eyes. </p><p>“You doing okay?” Jaemin asks, voice sounding muffled, and Jeno has to turn to look at him in order to understand. </p><p>“So bright,” Jeno whines, voice small and babyish as he squints at Jaemin, backlit by the lamp beside him. </p><p>“Okay, okay,” he coos, leaning over to switch the bedside lamp off, making the room dimmer, and Jeno sighs contentedly. </p><p>“Feel so far away,” he pouts, reaching out for Jaemin and pulling his arm around his own shoulders, the weight of Jaemin’s arm helping him feel less floaty. </p><p>“You do?” Jaemin replies, shuffling closer until their bodies are pressed together from shoulder to ankle. </p><p>“Nooo, <em>you </em>do,” he says, poking his pointer finger into Jaemin’s stomach for emphasis, “Much better now though.” </p><p>“Tell me about America,” Jeno demands a moment later, or ten minutes later, he can’t tell. </p><p>“You’ve already heard all my stories,” Jaemin laughs, “Want me to tell you one again?” </p><p>“Nooo, like— you…” He breaks off to hum along to a line of the song playing, then picks up again, “Did you miss me?” </p><p>“Of course I did,” Jaemin sighs, rubbing his fingers over Jeno’s shoulder. </p><p>“I missed you too,” Jeno says, nuzzling his cheek into the side of Jaemin’s head affectionately. It feels nice, the softness of his hair, the soothing motion over his cheek, so he falls into a rhythm of it, rubbing his face against Jaemin with his eyes closed, breathing in the scent of his shampoo and the tea on his breath, and Jaemin nuzzles him back. </p><p>“When did you forgive me?” Jaemin hums, petting his hair. </p><p>“I dunno,” Jeno replies with a little pleased noise, setting down again, “It was after you moved in, I just… realised how much I missed you, missed what we had, and I knew that I was wrong, and that I should fix things.” </p><p>He curls his fingers around the strings of Jaemin’s zip-up hoodie, playing with them as he listens to the younger’s deep breathing. </p><p>“I’m glad you wanted to try. Also, I hope you know that I didn’t just want you back for the whole treasure thing - you’re more to me than that, I— I need you in my life the way that humans do.” </p><p>“Mmm,” Jeno hums. <em>Like love. </em>“Me too.” </p><p>“You’re not a dragon, Jen,” Jaemin chuckles, pinching his cheek. </p><p>“Who says?” he pouts, sitting up so he can jut his bottom lip out, placing his balled-up fists on Jaemin’s chest and giving him his best puppy eyes. </p><p>“Ah, you’re so cute, wolfie,” Jaemin smiles, cupping Jeno’s cheek in his palm and stroking his thumb over his skin. His touch is so warm, and Jeno melts into it, hinging forward at the waist until Jaemin is cupping both sides of his face and kissing his pout away. </p><p>Jaemin’s lips feel like they’re coated in electricity that thrums through Jeno’s body as they kiss, melting together as if they’re trying to become one person. Every touch is heightened, each press of lips overwhelming, even when it’s a simple, lazy kiss with no intention of deepening. Jeno whines, trying to communicate how he feels so confused and dizzy and a little scared, and Jaemin picks up on it, pulling back to thumb over Jeno’s cheekbones once again. </p><p>“You okay?” he asks gently, Jeno’s whole world shining in his eyes. </p><p>“Jaemin… dizzy,” he whines, bones feeling like they’re made of his favourite gummy worms. </p><p>“Come lay down, yeah? That’ll help,” Jaemin soothes, voice soft and calming. He’s not patronising about it, just carefully guides Jeno onto his side, facing towards the centre of the bed, where he reaches out for Jaemin’s body heat. </p><p>“Where are you going?” he asks, suddenly blushing when he realises how clingy he sounded. </p><p>“I’m right here!” Jaemin replies gently, retrieving something from the nightstand. </p><p>Jaemin doesn’t seem to mind his whining, he just smiles fondly and strokes Jeno’s hair when he turns back over, holding a bottle of water up to his lips. He tilts the bottle gently when Jeno accepts it, cooing at him incoherently as he lets him drink until Jeno squirms, his thirst quenched. </p><p>“My lovely Jeno,” he says, Jeno focusing on catching the words that fall endlessly from his kiss-swollen lips, “You rest well, that’s it, we’ll put a nice movie on, yeah? Whatever you like - and you can sleep it off if you want, or just lay here with me, hm? Nana will take care of you, you don’t have to worry about anything.” </p><p>“Mmmh,” Jeno hums insistently, pulling weakly at Jaemin’s shirt until he leans down, presses short, sweet kisses to Jeno’s lips. He pulls away only to be dragged back down again, over and over until they’re both giggling, and Jaemin finally lies down next to him, pink hair fanning out across the pillow as he lets Jeno arrange his body to his ideal cuddling position. </p><p>They end up spooning, Jeno cuddling up to the younger with his arms snug around his waist - facing Jeno’s TV so he can connect his phone to it and pick out a movie. </p><p>“Stay here?” Jeno whispers, not sleepy, just tired of the dizziness and floppiness of his limbs. </p><p>“Of course,” Jaemin breathes, lacing their fingers together. </p><p>They sit out the rest of their high like that, Jaemin dragging him out of bed only to brush their teeth, or rather, Jeno sitting on the closed toilet lid and Jaemin brushing his teeth for him while holding his jaw loosely. Gentle hands undress him, then dress him again in clean pyjamas, smoothing out his hair and feeding him more water, before Jaemin wraps his arms around Jeno’s waist and hauls him upright. He has to walk by himself to the bed, and Jeno whines that the ten steps it takes are <em>far</em> too many, Jaemin giggling at him and leaving for a moment to turn out the lights, before settling in beside Jeno, chest to chest. </p><p>It takes Jeno a long time to fall asleep, his heart still racing in his chest, and he watches over Jaemin as he sleeps, warm puffs of breath fanning across Jeno’s collarbones. The sight pulls at his heartstrings, and two, three tears escape onto the pillow as he traces his fingers over Jaemin’s shoulder, arm, waist, back, hair - ever so gentle, and appreciating every inch of him. He’s so beautiful, a peaceful expression across his face and fingers curled into Jeno’s shirt, pink lips parted gently, and Jeno never wants to let him go again, not for a second. In another life, he never would’ve had this, Jaemin would just be the boy who screwed Jeno over and ran off to America, but here, under his roof, Jaemin is his. </p><p>“My Nana,” he mouths, tasting the nickname on his tongue, words pressed into the top of Jaemin’s head, where he kisses his hair, letting an unconscious Jaemin pull him closer with an arm draped around his waist. “I like you so much.” </p><p>🐺</p><p>
  <em>April 10th 2021</em>
</p><p>“Any news?” Donghyuck says, practically bouncing up and down as he drags Jeno through the front door of their apartment. </p><p>“About what?” Jeno sighes, even though he already knows the answer, he just doesn’t want it to be true. </p><p>“You and Jaemin, duh!” </p><p>Jeno sighs, flopping down on the couch, “Hyuck, we’ve talked about this,” he warns. </p><p>“I know, I know, you’ll text me if anything happens, but I need updates,” he whines, “Come on, Jen, give me the gossip?” </p><p>“There is no gossip! I’ve told you everything, I go to work, I go to the gym, I hook up with Jaemin like once a week, and that’s it.” </p><p>“Ugh, fine,” Donghyuck teases, that playful spark in his eyes, as always, “I know you need time, but what are you worried about, Jen, what’s stopping you from telling him how you feel?” </p><p>“Just— It sounds so stupid, because of course Jaemin is more to me than sex, but how am I supposed to confess to him if we haven’t <em>done it </em>yet? Not fully, I mean,” he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. Donghyuck knows this has been stressing him out, and he just can’t think how to phrase his worries to Jaemin without sounding like a complete asshole. </p><p>The younger places a reassuring hand on his knee, “I get it, you need that physical connection before you can commit to him.” </p><p>“Exactly,” Jeno says, readjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose. “I just don’t know how to tell him that.” </p><p>“Uhh, with words?” Donghyuck deadpans, and Jeno glares at him. Renjun and Yukhei are both at work, and their apartment is eerily quiet without them, even though they watch over Jeno in the form of photos lovingly framed around their living room. </p><p>“You think Jaemin kept all the photos of us from when we were kids?” he asks suddenly, remembering the boxes of photos and yearbooks his mom still has in their attic. </p><p>“I’m sure he did, you know his dad would never let him throw anything sentimental away.” </p><p>“Yeah, that’s true,” Jeno smiles fondly, maybe he should take Jaemin to visit his mom and sister sometime, they always adored having him over for dinner. </p><p>“You okay, Jen?” Donghyuck asks genuinely, shifting so he’s sitting more comfortably. </p><p>Jeno thinks about it for a moment, the swirl of emotions in his head and his gut, “Was it easy for you, falling in love?” </p><p>“Yes,” Donghyuck answers immediately, “But, it was hard for the others. I’m only telling you this because we’re best friends, okay? Renjun will literally kill me if this gets out, but, he’d had his heart broken in the past, and he was scared to let not just one, but two people back in again. For Yukhei-hyung, this is his first relationship, so he found it hard to adjust too, to get used to the feeling of being in love with someone, of giving them that much emotional power over you.” </p><p>“How did you help them?” Jeno asks. </p><p>“I gave them time, that’s the only thing you can do really, just be patient - like how Jaemin is patient with you.” </p><p>Jeno nods, “I just feel bad, y’know? Because I get the feeling Jaemin has loved me for a long time, but I’ve only loved him these past, like, two months, so I just… feel like he loves me more, and that I’m making him wait.” </p><p>“Jeno, you’re not the only person in this relationship, remember? It’s not all on your shoulders to make the moves, or say what you’re both thinking. How long you’ve loved someone is no indication of who loves who more, and if you love Jaemin now, I’m sure that’s all he cares about. You were angry, and you needed time to come to your senses, so it’s understandable.” </p><p>“I suppose so,” he hums, picking at the seam of his jeans. </p><p>“You know I’m right, come on,” Donghyuck smiles, “You don’t have to beat yourself up like this, just let it happen, enjoy the honeymoon stage, and I’m sure the right moment will present itself to you.” </p><p>“Okay, okay, you’re right,” Jeno giggles, shoving Donghyuck’s arm lightly. </p><p>“But first, you <em>gotta </em>tell him you want more from him physically. Trust me, he’ll love the honesty,” he waggles his eyebrows, and Jeno shoves him again. </p><p>“Now,” Donghyuck says, clapping his hands together, “Let’s do this thing.” </p><p>They turn their attention to the jigsaw puzzle that brought Jeno here in the first place, it’s a scene of some mountains, and Donghyuck is stuck on the huge section of blue sky at the top of the picture. </p><p>He decides to talk to Jaemin that night, when he’s back from work, and he psyches himself up for it as he clears the dinner dishes away. The sofabed is now permanently a couch again, and they eat most of their meals on it, since Jaemin has been sleeping in Jeno’s bed every night for the past week or so. Jaemin is in their bedroom on the PC, R&amp;B music filtering through the wall as Jeno approaches him like Jaemin is going to chase him away if he makes any sudden moves. </p><p>“Hey you,” Jaemin smiles fondly when he spots him, and Jeno pads over, sitting on the end of the bed so he can rest his chin on Jaemin’s shoulder. </p><p>“Hey,” he replies, watching the younger scroll through a Spotify playlist. “Jaemin?” </p><p>“Hmm?” </p><p>“Can you— When are— Can we have sex?” </p><p>“Now?” Jaemin replies easily, and Jeno shakes his head. </p><p>“No, I mean like—” he gestures vaguely, <em>“Sex </em>sex - without clothes, and stuff.” </p><p>“Oh,” Jaemin says, tone unreadable. The silence feels like it goes on forever, and Jeno can already sense the rejection that’s coming. </p><p>“Don’t worry, we don’t have to, I— I’m happy with how things are now, if you are?” </p><p>“No, Jen, it’s okay,” he turns around in his chair, taking both of Jeno’s hands in his before he can run away. “I needed to tell you at some point, I was just too embarrassed.” </p><p>“Tell me what?” </p><p>Jaemin sighs deeply, “No one has ever seen me naked, well, except my doctor. When I hooked up with someone, I’d… hide myself with a jock strap, or just not take my pants off, and no one has ever been so insistent on returning the favour as you have, they didn’t really care about my pleasure when I offered to give them my undivided attention instead. What I’m trying to say is - you already know what I feel like, down there, but uh— what you don’t know is, I have two.” </p><p>Jeno blinks. Then he blinks again. Jaemin isn’t joking. “Uh?” </p><p>“Yeah, you assumed right.” </p><p>“You—” Jeno starts, “You have— You have two dicks?” </p><p>“Uh huh,” Jaemin nods solemnly. </p><p>Jeno might just pass out. </p><p>“And this is a bad thing?” he asks incredulously, lips splitting into a smile because - oh my god, <em>that’s </em>what this was about? “Jaemin, oh my god, seriously?” </p><p>“Yeah,” he replies, unsure of what to think of Jeno’s reaction. </p><p>“God that’s— that’s so— <em>hot.” </em></p><p>Two dicks. Two fucking dicks. Jeno has no idea how Jaemin hid this so well from him, but he’s already so aroused just thinking about <em>them.</em> </p><p>“Really?” Jaemin says, round eyes sparkling, “You’re okay with it?” </p><p>Jeno splutters on a laugh, “Why wouldn’t I be? Sounds like twice as much fun to me.” </p><p>“God, I— I’m so glad you don’t find it weird or anything I—” </p><p>“Jaemin,” Jeno interrupts. “Just take your pants off.” </p><p>Jeno doesn’t kiss him yet, just picks Jaemin up by his hips and throws him down onto the bed, eliciting a needy whine from the younger. He doesn’t even let Jaemin shuffle up towards the pillows, Jeno grabs the waistband of his sweats and pulls them down in one swift motion. </p><p>“Fuck,” he groans. Jaemin isn’t wearing any boxers. </p><p>There, nestled between his legs, is what at first glance would look like a pussy, if not for the scales outlining the diamond-shaped opening, where more folds of skin are just visible inside it. Instead of being a tanned skin tone, like the rest of his body, the whole area is a deep bronze, and Jeno reaches out tentatively to run a finger over the scales. They’re firm, but with a bit of give like cartilage, and the muscles of his hips and groin twitch under Jeno’s hands. </p><p>“This okay?” he asks breathlessly, falling onto his elbows so he can study Jaemin’s body closer </p><p>“Yeah,” Jaemin nods, clearly flustered, with a healthy smattering of blush to his cheeks. He senses that Jeno doesn’t quite know how to touch him, so he reaches out to guide his hand. </p><p>“They’re under here,” he breathes, placing the flat of Jeno’s palm across his crotch, and right <em>there,</em> he can feel two phallic shapes under the skin - small, but hardening rapidly the more Jeno touches him, and he knows Jaemin definitely isn’t small when he’s fully hard. </p><p>“Like this?” he replies, grinding the length of his hand against both the bulges, and when he looks up, Jaemin is staring hazily down at him, bottom lip caught between his teeth. “You gotta tell me what feels good.” </p><p>“That—” Jaemin gasps, “That feels good, really good.” He’s so hot, and being the first person to ever touch Jaemin like this awakens something possessive inside Jeno, like a bottle of soda being shaken up with the lid screwed on tight. </p><p>The diamond shape at the centre of his core draws apart the more Jeno touches him, until his cocks start to push past the folds of skin, and Jeno pulls them out gently, both of them easily sliding free and already <em>soaking </em>wet. </p><p>“Oh fuck,” he groans, finally face-to-face with Jaemin’s cocks, the cocks he’d been grinding up against for weeks without knowing that there were two of them. They stand erect, side by side as Jaemin gasps and twitches, and Jeno promises with his eyes to touch him soon, he just has to take in the view. Like the surrounding skin, they’re a metallic, tan-brown colour, clear slick weeping from every pore at the tip of his cocks, running down his lengths to pool at the base, where the folds of skin have receded again to create a seamless transition from genitals to body. </p><p>Jeno blows cool air on the tip of the left one just to make Jaemin squirm, his fingers tangling in Jeno’s hair as he whines desperately. They’re exactly the same shape as he remembered, maybe even a little bigger, with a wide bulge in the middle and spines that Jeno would think were sharp if he didn’t know any better from touching them himself. What he missed before, however, is the subtle details, like the irregular pattern of spines on the top two inches that are arranged in a honeycomb pattern, and the slit that runs down the centre, like a human cockslit, but a good two-and-a-half inches long, and acting like a funnel for the precum to flow down. The base of each spine is bronze and fades out to a pale yellow, and he can’t keep Jaemin waiting any longer, not when he aches to explore every inch of the two lengths. </p><p>“Jeno,” Jaemin whimpers, desperate for the touch of another person in the places he had only ever touched himself, bar their first time in the bathroom, and Jeno thanks all his lucky stars that he got to be the first. </p><p>“I got you,” he soothes, lifting a hand to the right cock, and wrapping his fingers carefully around the head. Jaemin arches high off the bed, tossing his head back with a throaty groan, and Jeno touches him again a little more confidently, refamiliarising himself with the sensation of the hot, wet weight throbbing in his hand. He’s hypnotised by them, stroking the right cock gently, and watching as the left one twitches untouched, bobbing against Jaemin’s stomach like it’s begging for Jeno’s touch, and Jeno indulges them. </p><p>He treats each side with equal amounts of close attention, switching between his right and left hand to feel the subtle differences between them, all while Jaemin writhes on the bed and holds onto Jeno’s wrists for support. </p><p>The first time that he strokes both at the same time, Jaemin moans louder than Jeno’s ever heard before. </p><p>“Fuck, Jen, oh <em>fuck,” </em>he gasps, jolting and moaning when he does it again, playing around with stroking them in unison, or alternating his downstrokes, switching around between the two, with different speeds and pressures until he finds a sweet spot that makes Jaemin tremble fiercely. </p><p>“Oh my god, fuck— feels so— ah! So good, Jeno, please,” he groans, thighs starting to shake, and Jeno brings him back, not finished experimenting yet, slowing the glide of his fingers down until Jaemin is just whining softly in the back of his throat. </p><p>“I was wondering,” he muses, catching Jaemin’s gaze, “Are the spines identical on each side?” </p><p>“I don’t— I don’t know,” Jaemin pants, his voice already so wrecked, and Jeno <em>loves </em>this, having Jaemin at his mercy as he lets Jeno play with his body, exploring all the places that make him moan the loudest. </p><p>“I wanna count them,” he hums, almost talking to himself, and he pushes up his glasses before holding the intense eye contact as he leans down towards the left dick. </p><p>“One,” he says, flicking the tip of one of the big spines with his tongue, and Jaemin’s reaction is <em>perfect. </em></p><p>He gasps, presumably at both the sight and the sensation, eyebrows pinched together as if asking Jeno if they’re really doing this, and fuck yes they are. </p><p>“Two,” he continues, ticking off the next spine as he goes. </p><p>He gets to five before he loses count when Jaemin groans his name, the rumbly sound going straight to his dick. </p><p>“Jaemin,” he hums, lifting his head to take in Jaemin’s wild eyes, his bitten lips and his messy hair. “You made me lose count, I’ll have to start over.” </p><p>“Shit,” Jaemin whines, clearly enjoying the game too much to just shove Jeno down on his cock, and Jeno rubs his hip with the pad of his thumb, silently promising that he’ll make it all worth the wait. </p><p>He gets to eight this time, interrupted by the involuntary bucking of Jaemin’s hips, and his hands that grab at Jeno’s hair for purchase. </p><p>“Careful,” Jeno warns, fixing Jaemin with the most stern gaze he can conjure, which wouldn’t be intimidating at all if Jaemin was anything but out of his mind with pleasure. </p><p>Jeno pins his hips to the bed, leaning almost all of his body weight on his forearms as they rest on Jaemin’s hip bones, but even that doesn’t stop Jaemin from slipping a hand down to tug loosely at the base of his cock. Jeno growls a warning, batting his hands away, and Jaemin only whimpers in response. </p><p>“Hips up,” he pants, hauling Jaemin’s hips into the air and manhandling his palms so they lie flat against the bed, then guiding his body down again so he’s sitting on his hands, unable to touch. Jeno hums in satisfaction as he holds Jaemin’s body down again, giving up on his counting task and instead flicking his tongue over the spines on either side, swirling his tongue around the base and licking up the precum that pools between them. </p><p>“Jeno, <em>baby,” </em>Jaemin moans, and Jeno’s whole body jolts like he’s been electrocuted - <em>baby. </em>Jaemin called him baby. </p><p>“Again, call me that again,” he replies, desperation slipping into his own voice as he grinds his hips down against the mattress. </p><p>“Baby, just— give me your mouth, please,” Jaemin gasps, and Jeno has no mental strength left to deny him, so he wraps his lips eagerly around the tip and sinks down onto Jaemin’s left-hand cock. </p><p>“Oh <em>fuck—”</em> Jaemin groans, hips jerking in Jeno’s hold as he swirls his tongue over the head, and he releases one hand to wrap around what he can’t fit in his mouth. </p><p>He only takes the first few inches, not brave enough yet to try the big spines, but he digs his tongue into the slit, and Jaemin moans loudly, tossing his head back. Jeno pulls away with a slick pop, tasting the right cock with no hesitation this time, letting Jaemin serenade him with an endless stream of groans and whines. </p><p>“Baby,” he breathes after a moment, making Jeno’s stomach twist with arousal every time he uses that pet name. “There’s something I’ve always wanted to try.” </p><p>“Hmm?” Jeno hums, pulling off slowly to tongue at the head, where precum drips steadily out. </p><p>“Come up here.” </p><p>Jaemin grabs him for a heated kiss, Jeno’s hips grinding down against the younger’s stomach of their own accord as he moans into his mouth. </p><p>“Nana— Nana,” he pants, Jaemin’s fingers threaded tightly into his hair as he kisses him breathless. </p><p>Jaemin pulls at his clothes until they’re both naked, hands roaming over bare skin as their tongues dance together, before Jaemin pulls away with a groan. </p><p>“Look,” he breathes, tilting Jeno’s chin down until he’s looking at Jaemin’s cocks as he brings them together in one hand. They both curve towards each other, creating the perfect gap for Jeno to— </p><p>“Oh fuck,” he marvels, “Between them?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Jaemin replies, just as breathless. </p><p>They scramble into position, Jeno perched in Jaemin’s lap as he holds his lengths together, the heads rubbing against each other. Jeno swallows roughly, before taking the base of his own dick in his hand and pushing it gently into the gap between Jaemin’s. </p><p>The sensation is nothing he could’ve predicted - soft yet rigid, and so unbelievably wet and sticky, their precum mixing together and dripping hot across their lengths. </p><p>“Fuck, Jaemin,” he whines, holding onto his shoulder for support as he pushes his hips all the way through the ring of spines. </p><p>His whole body feels like it’s on fire, aching for anything Jaemin will give him, and right on cue, he leans down and sucks Jeno’s nipple into his mouth, laving his tongue over the nub. </p><p>“Go ahead, baby,” he groans into Jeno’s chest, one hand reaching around to grab Jeno’s ass, pulling his hips closer until the head of his cock bumps Jaemin’s stomach. </p><p>It’s like nothing he’s ever felt before, like fucking an extra-textured cock ring, every nerve ending firing off as he fucks into Jaemin’s hold, whimpering every time Jaemin bites down on his nipple just right or sucks a bruise into his chest. </p><p>“Feels good?” Jaemin pants, teasing and coy and everything that makes Jeno sticky between the legs. </p><p>“Yes, Jaemin— oh <em>shit,”</em> he breaks off into a hopeless whine, rocking his hips desperately in the way that his thighs have adjusted so perfectly to doing. </p><p>“‘Could cum like this,” Jaemin gasps, adjusting his grip so he can jerk the tips of his cocks against each other. “‘Specially when you look so pretty like this, you like my cocks that much, huh?” </p><p><em>Oh fuck. </em>“Uh huh!” Jeno replies pathetically, purely chasing his own high now as his balls draw up tight, Jaemin pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses along the column of his neck. </p><p>“Gonna cum all over me?” he hums, voice vibrating against Jeno’s throat. </p><p>“Almost there, Jaemin-ah,” he warns, too far gone to do anything but grind sloppily against Jaemin’s cocks, letting the spines catch on his delicate skin in a way nothing ever has before, and oh god, Jaemin’s fingers are trailing down to press over his hole. </p><p>“Go on, Jen, make a mess of Nana,” Jaemin purrs. </p><p>“Close!” he manages to gasp, Jaemin’s fingers running experimentally over his rim as Jeno pulls him in close, traps his cock between their stomachs, and cums with a loud cry of Jaemin’s name. The younger swallows up his moans, licking hotly into Jeno’s mouth as he trails his hands everywhere, feeling up his thighs the most as Jeno twitches with the aftershocks, still dragging his cock through the sticky mess of cum. </p><p>“Baby,” Jaemin whines, and Jeno manages to peel their chests apart to bat Jaemin’s hands away and wrap one hand around each of his cocks. </p><p>Jaemin rakes his nails down Jeno’s back over and over, leaving bright red, stinging trails across his skin as Jeno pumps both his cocks, able to study Jaemin’s face carefully as he pleasures him. </p><p>“Nana, you look so good,” he breathes, biting his lip as he casts his eyes over Jaemin. He’s leaning on his hands, head thrown back to expose the long column of his throat where his adam’s apple bobs with every moan, and Jeno perches in his lap still as he jerks him off. </p><p>“You <em>feel </em>so good, baby,” he groans, pushing his hips up to meet every pump of his fist, and Jeno can’t keep his eyes off him as his moans climb higher and higher in urgency. </p><p>“Jeno— fuck, oh, <em>baby— </em>fuck!” he babbles, elbows buckling, and he falls onto his back as he cums, thick, copper-coloured fluid spurting from both cockheads, making twice as much mess as the first time Jeno got his hands on him, and the force of his orgasm seems to knock him out of a moment. </p><p>“Nana?” he whispers, stroking him gently through it, and Jeno can’t even imagine what it must feel like to have two orgasms at once like that. </p><p>“I’m here, I’m here,” he mumbles, sounding so out of it that Jeno can’t help but giggle and nuzzle against his chin, draping himself over Jaemin’s body. He lets go of his softening cocks, and already they start to dip back beneath the folds of skin that keep them neatly tucked away. </p><p>“Hey, you alive?” Jeno teases, hovering on his hands and knees over the younger, gazing down fondly at his blissed-out face. </p><p>“Barely,” Jaemin murmurs, smiling dopily, and <em>fuck, </em>Jeno is so in love with him. “Christ, Jeno, I don’t normally do both at once.” </p><p>“Sorry,” he giggles, tucking Jaemin’s hair behind his ears, “Special occasion?” </p><p>“Definitely,” he agrees, reaching up to pull him in for a kiss - slow and passionate. </p><p>“Jaemin-ah?” Jeno whines after a few moments of lazy kissing. “Will you shower with me?” </p><p>🐺</p><p>They don’t get to have sex again for another two weeks, schedules too slammed with Jaemin picking up extra shifts, and Jeno exhausted from starting his new pediatrics course, that he doesn’t think he could get it up even if he tried - and he’s too drained to try. </p><p>However, he and Jaemin still find time for each other - going out on early morning drives to watch the sunrise, having dinner dates, or even just lying in bed together, Jaemin telling stupid made-up anecdotes and Jeno laughing until his abs hurt. Jaemin is his little pocket of sunshine, goofing off with him at every opportunity, but more than that, he’s Jeno’s rock - a calming, reassuring presence in his life that Jeno can’t think how he ever lived without. Their bond is stronger than ever before, and those three little words are on the tip of Jeno’s tongue every time they say goodnight or good morning, but never quite make it out of his mouth. </p><p>Still, Donghyuck says the right time will come eventually, and Jeno believes it whole-heartedly, he wants the moment to be absolutely perfect. </p><p>🐺</p><p>
  <em>April 25th 2021</em>
</p><p>It’s a Sunday, the full moon is two days away, and Jeno is so incredibly bored - even with Jaemin for company, he feels a restless itchiness that crawls under his skin. He’s already been to the gym, wet hair clinging to the back of his neck from the shower he took as he presses his shoulder blades against the couch. </p><p>Jaemin hums somewhere behind him, he makes these little subconscious noises, Jeno has noticed, and it doesn’t bother him at all, it’s nice to know he’s near. </p><p>His fangs are getting bigger by the day, so big now that he won’t be able to go out without a mask on to cover them up until the moon is waning again. What’s more, his gums <em>ache</em> and few things seem to make them better. Jaemin bought him lemon ice pops, and the sour flavour combined with the cold did soothe his mouth a little, but he chewed through a whole box of them within a day. That morning, he had had to swallow his embarrassment and open the sealed tupperware container he keeps under the sink specifically for times like this. He does warn Jaemin that this is the only thing that will stop him from chewing on the furniture, but he still looks a little horrified when Jeno emerges from the kitchen with a bone between his teeth. </p><p>The raw femur is fresh from the butcher’s, Jeno managed to sneak it into the refrigerator when Jaemin was at work and hide it away, and he’s been gnawing on it for an hour or so. Renjun hates these things, and as much as he would love to join him in his veganism, eating meat like this is literally in his blood. The bone soothes his gums like a treat, and it doesn’t take him long to get into the marrow; fatty and rich in flavour. Jaemin keeps flicking between channels on the TV, and they’re watching some programme on a low volume about restoring old cars but Jeno isn’t really paying attention. </p><p>What occupies all of his conscious thought instead is the feeling of Jaemin’s fingernails scratching lightly at his scalp. He’s not sure when Jaemin’s fingers slipped into his hair, and neither of them acknowledge it, but he can’t help noticing how Jaemin’s fingers tighten whenever he digs his tongue into the end of the bone to lick out the marrow. It goes on far too long for Jeno to think it’s a coincidence, and he gets the growing impression that Jaemin might have other things on his mind. </p><p>“Jeno,” he hums, voice low and gravely, and Jeno has to hold in an aroused shiver. “Are you sure you don’t want to come up here? That can’t be comfortable…” </p><p>There’s something about sitting on the floor that he finds so grounding, but Jaemin has been asking that question all afternoon, determined not to let Jeno be uncomfortable. </p><p>“I’m fine, Jaemin, promise.” He turns to look over his shoulder, bone in his right hand, and flashes him a reassuring smile. </p><p>That’s when he notices something is definitely up with Jaemin. His knees bracket Jeno’s shoulders, lounged back on the couch with his phone resting on his thigh, but he couldn’t look more on-edge while in such a reclined position. He’s tense, like Jeno could sneeze and he would jump out of his skin, eyes a little wild as Jeno stares into them, and he tries to close his legs, forgetting Jeno’s body blocks them. </p><p>There’s a hint of pink to the tips of his ears, and Jeno flickers his eyes down his body just to see what will happen, where Jaemin’s shirt clings tight over his torso, outlining his pecs, his abs, his tight waist and dancer hips. Jeno’s mouth goes dry as he pulls his gaze up again, taking in the heavy rise and fall of Jaemin’s chest, broad and muscular, and Jeno aches to work his tongue over it. </p><p>When their eyes meet again, Jaemin is breathing shallowly through parted lips; he shifts in his seat and Jeno doesn’t dare look down at his lap. </p><p>“Are <em>you </em>okay?” he asks, voice far too breathy. “You’ve been fidgeting for the past half hour?” </p><p>Jaemin swallows roughly, and Jeno’s eyes lock onto the bob of his adam’s apple. “Yeah,” His voice is dry and scratchy, and he clears his throat, “I’m fine.” </p><p>He smiles tightly, lips pressed together, and Jeno stretches his neck a little further to nuzzle his cheek into the side of Jaemin’s knee, eyes fixed on Jaemin’s face. </p><p>The younger’s breath hitches, muscles jumping underneath Jeno’s touch, and he grins, teeth bared. </p><p>“You’re definitely not fine,” he murmurs knowingly, tossing the bone back into the tupperware box and turning his whole body around so he’s kneeling between Jaemin’s legs. </p><p>“Jeno…” he warns, but Jeno ignores him to curl his hand around Jaemin’s ankle. </p><p>It’s almost comical how turned on Jaemin is, his hands resting uselessly alongside his body, and Jeno makes it his mission to have them pulling at his hair in no time. He studies Jaemin’s face as he drags his hand up the side of his calf, crimson now draining into the high points of his cheeks, and his tongue pokes out to wet his lips. </p><p>Jeno pauses, his hand now resting on Jaemin’s knee, and he uses it as leverage to surge upwards and kiss him. </p><p>Jaemin makes a little surprised noise as Jeno licks into his mouth, his foot curling around Jeno’s leg to hold him in place as he stands between Jaemin’s thighs, a hand braced on the back of the couch beside Jaemin’s head. He uses his other hand to hold his neck, angling Jaemin’s chin up so he can push past his plush lips and take what he wants from Jaemin’s mouth, sucking on his tongue and sighing against his lips as his hands come up to hold Jeno’s waist. </p><p>The kiss is aggressive, wanting, and Jeno is surprised when Jaemin pushes him away gently with a hand on his chest. </p><p>Jeno simply stares down at him, panting, taking in the sight of Jaemin laid out for him like this, Jeno making his back arch so he has nowhere to hide. </p><p>“Your breath,” Jaemin laughs breathlessly, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand and wrinkling his nose. </p><p>“Oh shit, sorry, I forgot,” he murmurs, sinking back down onto the floor, and Jaemin smiles fondly at him. </p><p>“It’s okay, I didn’t know you had that in you.” Jaemin runs a hand through his hair, practically high off the arousal, and Jeno feels a surge of pride that <em>he </em>gave Jaemin that loopy smile, not some pill, powder or paste.  </p><p>“We don’t have to—…” Jeno trails off, embarrassed. </p><p>“Don’t be ridiculous,” Jaemin grins, “Just go brush your teeth and it’ll be fine.” </p><p>“Yeah?” Jeno perks up immediately, and Jaemin nods, leaning back against the couch again, and Jeno does glance at his lap this time. </p><p>He’s hard - obviously so - Jeno can see the outline of his cocks resting against his hips through his sweatpants. <em>Fuck. </em></p><p>“Okay,” he breathes, standing up and wobbling a little as the blood drains south, away from his head. “Don’t get soft while I’m gone.” </p><p>“Oh I’m sure I won’t,” Jaemin purrs, dragging his thumb over a nipple through his thin t-shirt, and Jeno needs his cock down his throat, like, yesterday. </p><p>He brushes his teeth for what probably isn’t two minutes, but he does two rounds of mouthwash and figures that’ll do, spitting the second mouthful into the bathroom sink and padding back into the lounge. </p><p>Jaemin is right where he left him, and he tips his head back when he hears Jeno’s footsteps, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth as he pinches his nipples lazily. </p><p>Jeno comes up behind him, smiling when he catches his eye with Jaemin’s head upside down over the back of the couch. </p><p>“Took you long enough,” he teases, but there’s a breathy, needy lilt to his voice that Jeno can’t miss. </p><p>“I’m doing you a favour, don’t complain,” Jeno says, stopping directly behind Jaemin, and from this angle he gets the perfect view of him circling the pads of his fingers over his nipples, legs still spread wide for Jeno to slot himself between. </p><p>He’s about to reply, but any argument dies in his throat as Jeno curls his fingers around his neck, not pressing or squeezing, just caressing the delicate skin as Jaemin’s breath hitches. His throat is completely exposed, the scar of his vampire bite steadily fading away and Jeno’s own teeth marks overshadowing it, deep red and proudly on display. </p><p>Jeno kisses him briefly, upside down and a little awkward, Jaemin’s nose bumping his chin, and he pulls away when a hand curls around his wrist, squeezing impatiently. He lets Jaemin tug him around to the front of the couch, but breaks out of his grip to drop down onto his hands and knees to crawl over to Jaemin. </p><p>He’s a little shocked by his own forwardness, but any embarrassment he might’ve felt vanishes when Jaemin’s hands drop away from his chest to brace himself on the arm of the couch, holding on for dear life. Slowly, sensually, he crawls across the tattered rug until his breath is ghosting over Jaemin’s crotch, Jaemin himself looking like he’s about to explode with anticipation. </p><p>“Now, where was I?” he teases, placing both hands on the inside of Jaemin’s knees, giving him a little squeeze there before he continues. </p><p>Teasing Jaemin is <em>very</em> fun, he decides, hypnotised by the way his eyes widen and his breath comes out faster the higher his hands travel. When the angle gets too awkward to slide his palms higher, he instead grips Jaemin’s hips and rubs his cheek over his inner thigh, earning him a quiet gasp. </p><p>He kisses and nuzzles his way up, squeezing the healthy cushion of fat on Jaemin’s hips in his hands as he gives each thigh equal amounts of attention, occasionally scraping his teeth over his skin, making Jaemin jolt. </p><p>“Jeno,” he whines - <em>whines. </em>It’s music to Jeno’s ears, his reward for dragging this out longer than even he could stand it. </p><p>“Hmm?” he asks, his face close enough to the danger zone that he can feel the heat radiating off Jaemin’s cocks, rubbing his cheek against the plush skin just beside it, but never touching where Jaemin wants him. </p><p>“Come on, I—” He cuts himself off as Jeno drags him closer by the hips, pressing his face into Jaemin’s crotch and lovingly bumping his nose up against the underside of his cocks. </p><p>Tentatively, Jaemin cups the back of Jeno’s head with one hand and holds him in place as he rolls his hips once, wordlessly asking if it’s okay. </p><p>With that, Jeno leans back to tug his sweats off his hips, yanking the waistband down just enough to pull his dicks out, and Jaemin gasps as the cool air hits his flushed skin. </p><p>Jeno has to stop himself from drooling on Jaemin’s lap, because they’re just as beautiful as last time he saw them, curved and spined and dripping with precum, and Jeno runs the point of his tongue along the groove that runs from base to tip. </p><p><em>“Fuck,”</em> Jaemin gasps, fingers curling in Jeno’s hair as he repeats the movement on the other member, taking the left one in his hand and pumping it gently. </p><p><em>“Oh—</em> Jen— Oh my god, holy <em>shit—</em>” he groans, and Jeno smirks against his skin, lapping at the base of his cock to catch the slick that drips down his length. </p><p>“You’re so wet, look,” he hums, taking his hand away from Jaemin’s cock to hold it up, spreading his fingers to show how the precum webs between them, already coating his palm in a sheen of it. </p><p>Jaemin doesn’t reply, doesn’t have a clever quip, doesn’t tease him, just draws his bottom lip between his teeth again and whimpers high in his throat. </p><p>“Okay, okay,” Jeno soothes, jerking him in his hand a little faster this time, and Jaemin tips his head back with a groan. </p><p>He enjoys the view for a moment, stroking one cock in each hand, and he’s so thankful for his decent coordination skills when he moves each hand at a different speed and Jaemin moans even louder. His thighs keep trying to draw together, looking like he’s on cloud nine as his grip loosens in Jeno’s hair and he holds onto his shoulder instead for support, eyes closed in bliss. </p><p>Jeno lets go with his right hand to push his thighs apart, smearing precum all over Jaemin’s sweats in the process, and leans in to wrap his lips around his cock. It’s still an odd texture, the spines firm but with a little bit of give to them, and he’s just adjusting to the weight of it in his mouth when Jaemin yelps and flinches back. </p><p>“What’s wrong?” he gasps, pulling his mouth and his hands away immediately. </p><p>Jaemin sits up, looking down at him with wild eyes, his chest heaving, and Jeno cups his cheek, searching his eyes for any hints of an answer. </p><p>“What did you—” he pants, “Why does it <em>burn?”</em> </p><p>“Huh?” Jeno replies, mind too full of lust to think properly. </p><p>And then, “Oh my god - the mouthwash.” </p><p>“Mouthwash?” Jaemin parrots, and Jeno groans in frustration. </p><p>“I’m an idiot, Jaemin, oh my god.” </p><p>Jaemin pouts, tucking strands of Jeno’s hair behind his ear, “You're not, Jen, it’s okay.” </p><p>“I didn’t even think about that, I’m sorry.” </p><p>“Hey, hey,” Jaemin soothes, brushing his thumb over Jeno’s cheekbone, “I just said it’s okay, don’t worry about it.” </p><p>“But—” </p><p>“Can you…” Jaemin starts, nervous, “Do it again?” </p><p>Jeno doesn’t even need to ask if he’s sure, because Jaemin leans back again, spreading his thighs wide. He picks up the hem of his shirt and drags it over his torso, dropping it somewhere behind him over the back of the couch. When he looks back down at Jeno, he smiles gleefully, gliding a hand along the centre line of his chest, and Jeno once again clambers up onto the couch to kiss him silly. </p><p>He rocks their hips together as they kiss, not caring about the slick seeping into the front of his shorts when Jaemin is making such sweet little gasps and whimpers as they grind against each other. Jaemin’s skin is hot under his fingers as he trails them over his bare shoulders, and he spreads his legs wider over Jaemin’s lap to grind his clothed cock in dirty circles over both of Jaemin’s. </p><p>“Nana…” he whispers as Jaemin reaches into his shorts and palms his ass, pulling him close and encouraging him to roll his hips harder. </p><p>Jaemin’s body comes up to meet him with every thrust, and Jeno loses himself in the pleasure, burying his face in Jaemin’s neck and moaning breathily. </p><p>“That’s it, baby,” Jaemin purrs, nudging Jeno upright until he’s sitting pretty in his lap, back straight so Jaemin can tuck his face under Jeno’s jaw and kiss him there. </p><p>“Jaemin-ah,” he whines, gripping his shoulders as the roll of their hips doesn’t even slow down. “I’m supposed to be— <em>mmnn!” </em></p><p>He breaks off into a groan as Jaemin bites gently at the column of his neck, and he’s torn between chasing his own high and getting Jaemin back in his mouth. </p><p>“I know, but you feel so good like this,” he hums, his hands slipping out of Jeno’s shorts to instead hold onto his upper arms, squeezing the muscle. Jeno flexes for him, and Jaemin makes a little appreciative noise, feeling up his arms like he so loves to do whenever Jeno wears sleeveless shirts. </p><p>“Jaemin,” he breathes again, slowing the frantic bucking of his hips to a standstill and gently pushing Jaemin back against the cushions again. </p><p>His breath hitches, and Jeno experimentally presses a little harder, his hands on Jaemin’s shoulders, and he <em>feels</em> the way his cock twitches against him, stars in Jaemin’s eyes. </p><p>“You like that?” he asks, taking back the upper hand while Jaemin is distracted. </p><p>Jaemin’s eyelashes flutter and he squirms against Jeno’s hold, like he’s testing how hard it really would be to escape. “God,” he whispers, “I— I, I like it, Jeno, wow…” </p><p>“Yeah?” He cocks his head, shifting so that he can pin Jaemin down with his forearm across both shoulders. </p><p>“You’re so strong, Jen,” he praises, lifting his hand to stroke his arm, but Jeno grabs his wrist and pins it beside his head, making Jaemin gasp unguarded. </p><p>“I— I don’t know what I’m doing,” he confesses quietly after a pause, ducking his head. </p><p>“That’s okay,” Jaemin murmurs back, “Everything you’re doing right now is,” he gulps, “really hot.” </p><p>“Really?” he asks, and when Jaemin nods earnestly he continues, “Then, what if I…” </p><p>He releases Jaemin’s wrist to feel up his chest instead, tracing over old bite marks and scratching lightly with his nails just to see Jaemin shift against his hold. When he tweaks Jaemin’s nipples and the younger groans in sensitivity, Jeno leans down and flicks his tongue over one of the tan buds. </p><p>Jeno rearranges himself so he’s sitting back on Jaemin’s thighs, one arm braced against his collarbones to pin him down, leaving the other hand free to roll a nipple between his finger and thumb while he sucks on the other. Jaemin gasps and searches for any kind of friction, letting Jeno play with his chest as he wriggles his hips as best he can with Jeno’s weight holding him down. </p><p>“Your mouth, Jen, <em>fuck,” </em>Jaemin pants, squirming non-stop as Jeno attacks his nipples with his tongue, lips, teeth, fingers, anything he can do to pull those delicious moans out of him. </p><p>“Want you,” Jeno huffs, sliding off his lap and onto his knees again. </p><p>Jaemin spreads his legs immediately, and Jeno decides to keep the sweatpants on him, he likes fucking half-clothed, decides it makes it feel so desperate, like they couldn’t even wait to strip before getting their hands on each other. </p><p>He picks Jaemin’s hips up, only to throw him back down again, fingers digging into his skin as he pressed him hard into the furniture, and Jaemin moans at the sudden roughness. </p><p>“Can I touch you?” Jaemin asks breathlessly, hovering his hands over Jeno’s shoulders with a wild look in his eyes, pupils blown wide. </p><p>“Yeah, want you to pull my hair,” he whimpers, taking one cock in his hand and spreading precum all over it. </p><p>Jaemin moans, and Jeno doesn’t give him time to recover as he flattens his tongue and drags it over the underside of his other dick, flicking it across the tip and then wrapping his lips around it. </p><p>He glances up through his eyelashes, watching as Jaemin seems to consider the sensation, and Jeno can feel it now too, the alcohol in the residual mouthwash making his tongue and gums tingle. </p><p>Tentatively, he strokes the length in his right hand, the circle of his fist shifting tighter and looser and tighter again as he moves from the shaft to the swell in the middle to the slimmer base and all the way back up again. Jaemin shudders, and wordlessly he threads his fingers into the hair at the crown of Jeno’s head and thrusts his cock gently into his mouth. </p><p>Jeno tips his head back slightly to let the weight of it slide across his tongue and straight to the back of his throat, his right hand absentmindedly petting over the spines of the other cock. </p><p><em>“Oh.” </em>Is all Jaemin can say as he drags his length out again, precum hanging in wet strings between Jeno’s lips and his tip, and Jeno’s eyes nearly cross as he tries to focus on a bead of slick that forms along the slit and finally becomes heavy enough that it drips onto Jaemin’s sweats, pulling all the threads of precum and saliva down with it. </p><p>For a moment, Jeno just stares at the sticky mess soaking into Jaemin’s sweats, his cock bobbing inches away from his face, and when he looks up again Jaemin is <em>gone. </em>His mouth hangs open, the blush on his ears spreading down to his neck, bangs plastered to his forehead, and Jeno follows a bead of sweat as it rolls down Jaemin’s stomach. Without thinking, he leans across Jaemin’s sticky lap and catches the droplet with his tongue pressed against his navel, and Jaemin holds the back of his neck with far too much sweetness for the context. </p><p>One cock in each hand, Jeno lets Jaemin tilt his chin up until Jaemin is kissing him tenderly, hooking his tongue behind his teeth and holding Jeno’s face in both of his hands. It shatters the mood, but Jeno couldn’t care less as Jaemin kisses him like he <em>loves </em>him, folded in half at the waist and sighing against his lips. He sits up on his knees, looping his arms around Jaemin’s neck as he holds him close, the blowjob he had promised left forgotten about for a second time as Jeno pours every drop of affection he has in him into the kiss. </p><p>They part with a lingering press of lips, Jaemin placing a gentle kiss to Jeno’s forehead before hooking his thumb into his mouth and feeling Jeno’s fangs against the digit. </p><p>“Are you ever gonna let me make you cum?” Jeno laughs, mouth full of fingers, and Jaemin giggles. </p><p>“Eventually,” he smiles, “I haven’t forgotten about you, too.” </p><p>He nods towards Jeno’s lap, and he squirms, suddenly reminded of the boner he’s been sporting for the past god-knows-how-long. </p><p>“Open up,” Jaemin says casually, not as a command, as a request, and Jeno happily obliges. </p><p>Jaemin holds the base of his cock as Jeno sinks down onto it again, this time letting his lips slide even further along the length. The boy above him sighs contentedly and lounges back in his seat, taking his other cock in his hand and stroking it lazily, leaving both of Jeno’s hands free to hold his hips down. </p><p>“Ah, Jeno,” he hums once he starts up a steady rhythm, bobbing his head and gradually opening up to the spines that run over his tongue and the roof of his mouth. It’s an odd sensation, but Jeno finds he adjusts far quicker than he would’ve predicted, lips stretching wider over the swell at the centre each time he drops down. </p><p>The slick noises of Jaemin’s hand working next to his ear drives him crazy, and he hums around Jaemin’s cock, relaxing his jaw to take him deeper until he gags. Jaemin reaches into his hair to pull him off, but Jeno holds himself there, feeling his gag reflex gradually relax as he breathes heavily through his nose. </p><p>“Holy fuck,” Jaemin gasps, eloquent as ever, his hips twitching ever so slightly in Jeno’s hold. </p><p>Shuffling closer, he looks up through his eyelashes and Jaemin groans, tugging on Jeno’s hair just like he wanted him to while he strokes his cock. </p><p>“Careful with the fangs,” he whispers, and Jeno hums, effectively cockwarming him with his fucking throat, and he moans automatically at the realisation. </p><p>Jaemin echoes him, the vibration of his throat making it flutter around his cock, and Jeno sinks down further. </p><p>“Jen— oh my god, be careful,” Jaemin gasps, voice strained and grip deliciously painful in Jeno’s hair. </p><p>He moans again, Jaemin’s cocks could literally <em>break him, </em>and that’s the hottest fucking thing Jeno could’ve ever thought of. Whimpers slip from his throat uncontrollably, muffled by Jaemin’s cock, and he can only whine needily and try to stuff Jaemin further into his mouth. </p><p>“Oh my god— Fuck, Jeno you’re so hot, baby,” Jaemin groans, slipping into mindless desperation now too. “You look so good on my cock like that, fuck.” </p><p>It’s like the floodgates have opened and he can’t stop himself now, “No one has ever taken my cocks so well, but I bet you could swallow all of me, huh?” </p><p>Jeno tries to nod, whimpering, and he bobs his head carefully, jaw aching from the sheer <em>girth</em> of Jaemin’s cock, and his body aches for Jaemin to fuck him. He can’t even imagine taking both of Jaemin’s cocks at once, but he needs it more than he’s ever needed anything before, needs to be stuffed full and held down while Jaemin ruts into him. And the cum - oh god the cum - it would leak out of him for hours afterwards, a reminder of how he pushed his body to a limit no one had ever gone to before for Jaemin. </p><p>His mind reels, and Jaemin seems to be on the same page, never taking his eyes off Jeno for a second as he babbles in ecstasy. </p><p>“Who would’ve thought a fierce wolfie like you would be such a <em>good boy?” </em>Jeno could cum in his pants, no one has ever talked to him like this before - praised him and subtly degraded him all at the same time until his bones feel like molten metal. </p><p>Jaemin continues, “You’re so fucking tight, too— <em>ahh!</em> You like being full like this?” </p><p>Jeno moans, saliva and precum foaming at the corners of his mouth, and Jaemin tries to move his hips, but Jeno holds him down firmly. </p><p>“Fuck you drive me crazy, Jen, ‘spent so many nights thinking about you doing this to me, but you’re better than I ever could’ve dreamt of. Look at you, you got a mouth full of fangs but you still want more? Such a — <em>cockslut.” </em></p><p>Jeno <em>sobs, </em>a tear finally slipping from his waterline from how fucking good he feels, and Jaemin coos, letting the tear roll down to drip off his chin like the rest of the spit and precum. </p><p>“You’re so pretty, <em>fuck, </em>I’m close,” he breathes, and Jeno lets go of one of his hips to wrap his fist around what he can’t fit in his mouth. </p><p>Jaemin jolts and moans as he sucks him off faster, his back arching, sweatpants slipping down his thighs and legs spread impossibly wide. He grabs a fistful of Jeno’s hair and pulls on it, hard, and Jeno finally releases his cock from his throat to press his tongue against the underside of it, gasping for breath and jerking Jaemin’s cock over his open mouth. </p><p>“Gonna cum all over that pretty face,” Jaemin moans, letting go of Jeno’s hair to hold onto the couch, knuckles white as he bucks his hips frantically. </p><p>Jaemin’s whole body shakes, and he moans loudly as the cock in Jeno’s hand cums first, squirting molten bronze cum from the slit and all over the head, and Jeno watches it all run down his length for a second before diving forward and chasing it with his tongue. Gasping, Jaemin goes limp as he cums again, and Jeno detaches his tongue from the length in his hand to try and catch the thin liquid on his tongue from the other cock. </p><p>Some of it lands in his mouth, but most streaks across his lips and cheeks, some even striped over the bridge of his nose, and Jeno presents the cum on his tongue to Jaemin for a moment before swallowing it down. Jaemin moans brokenly, coming down from his high as Jeno milks each cock dry, digging his tongue around every spine to clean up all of the cum. </p><p>When they both soften in his hands and he deems them clean, he chases the cum that escaped him down Jaemin’s taint, licking over the sensitive skin as Jaemin hums appreciatively. He looks up through his eyelashes again as he grows bolder and pressed his nose flush against Jaemin’s skin, his tongue dipping down to collect the last few drops of cum that reached the pucker of his hole, and Jaemin shudders. </p><p>“Fucking hell, Jeno,” he gasps, petting his hair as Jeno licks slow, wet stripes over Jaemin’s hole. </p><p>“Can I eat you out?” he hums, throat rough and voice thoroughly wrecked - he sounds like he smokes three packs a day. </p><p>He’s already pushing Jaemin’s legs up towards his chest, trying to arrange his body so Jeno can lathe his tongue over him, slicking him up, but Jaemin stops him with a hand under his chin. </p><p>“As much as I would fucking love that, I’m too spent to go again, baby,” Jaemin says gently, pulling Jeno up into his lap and petting over his body. </p><p>“Besides, I still have you to take care of,” he smirks, curling his fingers around Jeno’s cock through his shorts, and Jeno keens. </p><p>“I wanna cum so bad, Jaemin,” he whimpers, bucking his hips into Jaemin’s fist as he reaches into his shorts. </p><p>“I know, I know,” he murmurs against Jeno’s lips, “Shh I got you, I’ll make you feel really good.” </p><p>“Please,” he breathes, eyes slipping closed as Jaemin kisses him. </p><p>Jaemin rearranges him so he’s face down on the couch, his shirt and shorts discarded on the rug as Jaemin runs his hands from his shoulders to his waist to his hips and down the backs of his thighs. </p><p>“You did so well for me, let me take care of you now.” Jaemin’s voice and his gentle touch soothes Jeno’s frantic movements, and he hugs the pillow beneath his chest tightly. </p><p>“Jaemin, <em>please,”</em> he gasps, and Jaemin shushes him, the couch dipping where Jaemin must settle behind him. </p><p>“You’ve been so patient,” he says, splaying his palm across Jeno’s ass and squeezing it playfully. “Here you go, my good boy.” </p><p>Jaemin’s palm is wet with spit as he wraps it around Jeno’s cock, and Jeno sobs at the contact, arching his back. </p><p>He strokes Jeno without hesitation, setting up a pace that makes his toes curl, and oh god, Jaemin is kneeling up and pressing his hips against Jeno’s ass. He’s pulled his sweatpants back up over his hips, but the implication of Jaemin fucking him from behind like this pulls Jeno closer to his climax. </p><p>“Jaemin, Jaemin, <em>ah! Mnnn!” </em>he moans, pressing back against Jaemin’s body, and Jaemin leans forward to kiss along his spine. </p><p>“Feels good?” he hums, and Jeno suddenly has an idea. </p><p>He hauls himself up onto his knees, holding onto the back of the couch for support, and searches blindly for Jaemin’s other hand. When he finds it, he pulls it around to his chest, and he tips his head back against Jaemin’s shoulder as he pressed his front to Jeno’s back, jerking him off in one hand and toying with his nipples with the other. </p><p>“Fuck,” Jeno grunts, completely exposed to Jaemin’s touch, and he cries out as Jaemin bites down on his shoulder. </p><p>“You like me touching you like this, hm?” Jaemin hums amusedly, tilting his head to capture Jeno’s lips in a sloppy kiss, mostly tongue and not much else. </p><p><em>“Yes,” </em>Jeno gasps against his mouth, “Want you to fuck me just like this one day.” </p><p>“Oh yeah?” Jaemin asks, “Just like this? You'd let me feel your body up while I fuck you?” </p><p>“I would, Jaemin, I would!” he cries, <em>so </em>far gone, and he’s <em>so</em> fucking close. </p><p>“You’re so cute, I wanna fuck you every way I possibly can.” Jaemin punctuates his confession with a kitten lick to the shell of Jeno’s ear, his hand tugging faster at Jeno’s cock. “Every position, every room in this flat, in your car, at every time of day.” </p><p>“Jaemin!” he wails, the first spurts of cum leaking out of him as his knot swells. </p><p>“I wanna fuck you <em>stupid, </em>wolfie.” </p><p>Jeno <em>screams. </em>His knees buckle and Jaemin pulls him backwards into his lap, holding him close as he cums all over his own chest and Jaemin’s fist. </p><p>“Jaemin, ah— Jae- <em>nnn!</em> -Min,” he whimpers, head thrown back against his shoulder as Jaemin rubs the last few ropes of cum out of him. </p><p>“I got you, I got you,” Jaemin soothes, the arm draped around Jeno’s waist moving down so he can circle his knot with both hands, hugging it with gentle pressure. </p><p>Jeno laughs breathlessly, eyes still closed, “How did you know I do that to myself?” </p><p>“You knot your own hand?” Jaemin teases, a grin in his voice, “That’s really cute.” </p><p>“Shut up,” Jeno smiles, “It just feels good, y‘know? Like I’m really knotting someone.” </p><p>“I’d let you knot me,” Jaemin says casually, nuzzling his face into Jeno’s neck since his hands are occupied. </p><p>“Wait— Seriously?” he asks, head spinning. </p><p>“Yeah,” Jaemin drops a row of kisses from his ear to his collarbone, “I want you to.” </p><p>“God, Nana, you’re a dream, you know that?” he laughs, bringing a hand up to pet Jaemin’s hair, their bodies pressed close, legs tangled together. </p><p>“Nope that would be you,” he hums, “You haven’t looked at yourself yet, baby.” </p><p>“Hmm?” Jeno lifts his head reluctantly from its Jaemin-shaped pillow and opens his eyes. </p><p>“Oh… <em>wow,”</em> he gasps, taking in the sight before him. </p><p>Jaemin hooks his chin over his shoulder as he lets go of Jeno’s softening knot and trails his fingers through the river of cum sticking to his abdomen. It’s all over Jaemin’s hands, the tops of Jeno’s thighs, his crotch, his stomach, a few streaks ribboned over his pecs and even his collarbones. </p><p>“It’s pretty, hm?” Jaemin giggles, and Jeno blushes fiercely. </p><p>“You really… Wow.” He’s speechless - Jaemin is just insane. </p><p>“All this because you were chewing on that stupid bone,” Jaemin muses, wrapping his arms around Jeno’s waist like a koala. </p><p>“What does that have to do with— Oh no. Jaemin, you didn’t,” he turns his head and Jaemin hides behind his bare shoulder, the pieces clicking into place. </p><p>“I can’t help it!” he groans, “It just made me think of last time when you…” </p><p>“You got hard from watching me chew on a bone?” Jeno teases, his heart swelling as Jaemin tries to make himself even smaller, and Jeno reaches behind him and pinches Jaemin’s waist. </p><p>“Whatever! You enjoyed yourself, didn’t you?” Jaemin pouts, and Jeno ruffles his hair. </p><p>“I think it’s pretty obvious I did,” he smiles softly. </p><p>Jaemin peeks his head out from behind Jeno’s shoulder, and Jeno kisses him sweetly. </p><p>“How are we gonna clean all this up?” he groans after a moment of cuddling and peaceful silence. </p><p>“Shower’s the only way,” Jaemin hums, sounding half asleep. </p><p>“You’re helping me then,” he huffs, trying to wriggle out of Jaemin’s arms, but admittedly he doesn’t try very hard. </p><p>“No way, I’m tired,” Jaemin whines, wrapping his arms even tighter. </p><p>“Yes way, you’re gonna help me wash my naked body whether you like it or not,” he laughs. </p><p>“You drive a hard bargain, Jen, but when you put it like that…” </p><p>In the end, Jeno has to carry him to the shower - bridal style, because he’s a gentleman. </p><p>“This is very sweet, but you’re ruining my joggers,” Jaemin grumbles, not-so-subtly feeling up Jeno’s shoulders as he holds on. </p><p>“They’re not ruined, it’ll wash right out, you big baby,” he smiles, putting him down gently inside the shower cubicle. </p><p>“Where are you going?” Jaemin calls as he pads over to his drawers. </p><p>“Getting you a towel!” </p><p>“Well, get back here, I need my post-sex kisses!” he says dramatically, and Jeno laughs, dropping the clean towels on the bathmat and guiding Jaemin to steady his hands on his shoulders as Jeno tugs the rest of his clothes off for him. </p><p>“Better?” he asks, straightening up and pecking Jaemin on the lips. </p><p>“Not really,” he pouts, folding his arms cutely over his chest, not looking very threatening at all while stark naked. </p><p>“Alright, alright,” Jeno sighs, a stupid smile on his face as he wraps his arm around Jaemin’s waist, turning the water on so he can kiss him under the spray until he’s satisfied. And if Jaemin steps out of the shower with more bite marks than when he got in, he doesn’t complain. </p><p>🐺</p><p>
  <em>May 1st 2021</em>
</p><p>It’s Labor Day, and Jeno is looking forward to doing absolutely nothing with his day off, moving no further than from his desk to his bed and back, but that is rudely interrupted when his phone rings all of a sudden. </p><p>“Jaemin?” he croaks, voice rough from not being used much since he woke up. Jaemin said he was just going to get groceries, so why is he calling? </p><p>“Look out of the window,” Jaemin replies, a smile audible in his voice. </p><p>“But I’m all comfy,” Jeno whines, and Jaemin clicks his tongue at him. </p><p>“Please, baby?” he pouts, and Jeno gives in, always a pushover for Jaemin’s pet names. </p><p>He gets up and shuffles over to the window, pushing the curtains aside and peering out at the street below. </p><p>“What am I supposed to be looking at?” he asks, a smile creeping onto his face without his permission. </p><p>“Down here!” </p><p>Jeno looks down at the road, and parked behind his own car is a vehicle he’s never seen before, a silver Hyundai, and Jaemin is waving to him from the driver’s seat. </p><p>“Oh my god,” he laughs, waving back, “You seriously went out and bought that just now?” </p><p>“Yep, I told you I was saving up for a car, didn’t I?” Jaemin grins, tapping the horn once for emphasis. “Are you doing anything right now?” </p><p>Jeno looks over to the TV, where he was halfway through an episode of some American drama that Jaemin likes, but that can wait until later - for Jaemin, anything can wait. </p><p>“Not really,” Jeno replies down the phone, anticipation already making his heart race. </p><p>“Wanna come for a spin with me?” he grins, winking up at Jeno through the window, and Jeno is already nodding before he can get the words out. </p><p>“Let me put some proper pants on first,” Jeno says, closing the curtains so he can change. </p><p>“Or you could just take them off?” Jaemin offers, teasing. </p><p>“Maybe later,” he hums, hanging up with a grin before Jaemin can say another word. </p><p>Jeno pulls on a pair of fitted sweatpants, checking his hair quickly in the mirror before locking up the apartment, and taking the steps two at a time. </p><p>“Where are we going?” he asks as he slides into the passenger seat - and either he’s going crazy, or Jaemin looks so hot in the driver’s seat that it should be illegal. </p><p>“Our spot,” Jaemin says, starting the engine and resting his arm on the back of Jeno’s seat as he backs up. </p><p>Their spot is a little place they always used to run to as kids when their parents needed them out of their hair for a few hours. It was about a fifteen minute walk from the side of town they used to live on, making it a car journey of all of ten minutes, where they fall into easy conversation as Jaemin follows the route they both know off by heart, taking them away from the town and onto quiet woodland roads. </p><p>Jaemin keeps his eyes fixed on the road, giving Jeno the perfect opportunity to sneak glances his way; admiring the slope of his jaw, his frankly adorable expression as he concentrates, and his elegant fingers as they drum against the steering wheel. He really is beautiful, inside and out, and Jeno still gets butterflies every time Jaemin flashes him that fond smile, like he’s thinking the same about him. </p><p>“You go find our bench, I’ll meet you there,” Jaemin smiles when they’re parked by the side of the road, a few minutes walk away from the wooden bench they always used to sit on as kids. It looks out over a small lagoon, too small to attract anything more than a few ducks, and the water too murky to house any fish that they could catch, but it was their secret spot, tucked away between the trees, and Jeno had honestly forgotten all about this place. </p><p>“Okay,” he hums - Jaemin is so bad at bluffing, but Jeno doesn’t try to discover what he’s up to now, he knows he’ll find out eventually. </p><p>After taking a moment to get his bearings, he heads off into the long grass, following a narrow dirt path carved out by hikers, until Jaemin’s car is no longer in sight, and he catches a glimpse of the concrete slab that the bench sits on top of. It’s exactly as he remembered - albeit a little more weathered - and Jeno can’t help but smile as he sits down on the slats of wood, his mind flooded with memories of himself and Jaemin playing in the long grass, making mud pies, staging sword fights with sticks, building dens - everything a child could possibly dream up with the resources they had. </p><p>He looks over his shoulder when he hears footsteps approaching, tearing his gaze away from the surface of the lagoon that sparkles in the morning sunshine. Jaemin is holding something behind his back, and Jeno waits for him with a smile on his face so wide that it makes his cheeks ache. </p><p>“For you,” Jaemin says with a nervous smile, holding out a bunch of flowers wrapped in paper. </p><p>“Oh, Jaemin,” he breathes, taking the gift as Jaemin sits down next to him, their shoulders pressed together. The tissue paper is an off-white, and crinkles as Jeno turns it around in his hands, admiring the blush pink roses, delicate and tasteful and romantic. “They’re beautiful.” </p><p>“I thought pink would be more your style than red,” he laughs, scratching the back of his head. </p><p>“They are,” Jeno smiles, “No one’s ever given me flowers before.” </p><p>He looks out at the water, then over at Jaemin - sweet, thoughtful, perfect Jaemin. </p><p>“I’m glad I could be the first,” Jaemin says, before taking a deep, shaky breath. “Truthfully, I wanted to give you these because I thought they might help me tell you something - how I really feel about you.” </p><p>Jeno takes his hand, silently urging Jaemin to continue. </p><p>“Now that I’m here, it’s a lot harder than I thought to say it,” he laughs, bangs ruffled by the light breeze, the tips of his ears the same shade of pink as his hair, and as the roses. </p><p>“Say what?” Jeno whispers, careful not to shatter the intimacy of the moment. </p><p>Jaemin pauses, and for a split second Jeno thinks he won’t be able to do it, that maybe he himself should say it first, the words he’s been trying to spell out to Jaemin with every kiss, every touch. </p><p>“I love you.” </p><p>Jeno nearly drops the bouquet as he surges forward, coming home to Jaemin’s arms and kissing him with tears in his eyes. Wrapping his arms around his waist, Jaemin kisses him back, pouring his heart and soul into the few presses of lips they manage to share before Jeno bursts out into elated laughter. </p><p>“I love you too, Jaemin-ah,” he beams, heart threatening to burst as he pulls Jaemin’s knuckles to his mouth and kisses them sweetly. </p><p>“Don’t cry,” Jaemin sniffs, smile so bright it rivals the sun, “You’ll make me cry too!” </p><p>“I’m trying!” Jeno laughs, pulling Jaemin in for a tight hug, holding him close as the younger presses kisses against his hair, his ears, his temples. He doesn’t let go for a long moment, wanting to imprint this feeling in his memory forever, and when he finally pulls away, Jaemin is smiling at him with pure adoration plastered across his face. </p><p>“God, I don’t know what to say,” Jaemin breathes, stroking his thumb over Jeno’s cheek. </p><p>“Then tell me it again,” Jeno replies, cupping Jaemin’s hand to his face. </p><p>“I love you, Lee Jeno,” he repeats, voice soft, only for Jeno’s ears. </p><p>Jeno kisses him again, pouring all of the passion and tenderness he can muster against Jaemin’s lips, kissing him over and over until Jaemin is pulling him closer, and the kiss takes a different turn, one that makes heat curl at the base of Jeno’s spine. He holds onto the front of Jaemin’s shirt for purchase, sighing softly against his mouth, and he only has to lick the seam of Jaemin’s lips once for him to pull back just enough to whisper: </p><p>“Wanna go home?” </p><p>“Please,” Jeno sighs, dragging him back in for one more kiss before they hurry back to the car, fingers interlocked. </p><p>🐺</p><p>“Jen,” Jaemin gasps as he’s pinned against the front door the second it’s closed, slick lips pressing together urgently. </p><p>“God, just, let me put these in some water quickly,” he says breathlessly, reluctantly pulling away to take the flowers to the kitchen, Jaemin trailing after him. </p><p>“Why? ‘You planning to be busy for a while?” Jaemin teases, grabbing Jeno’s hips and pressing himself up against his ass, fingers trailing up his sides and making Jeno shudder with arousal. </p><p>“Definitely,” Jeno grits out, trying to hold in any needy sounds as he grabs the closest glass and fills it up halfway with water, before placing the flowers in as gently as he can with Jaemin feeling him up. </p><p>“Yeah?” he says, voice low and dripping with lust, “Tell me what you want.” </p><p>“Want you to fuck me,” Jeno breathes, more sure of this than anything in his life, and Jaemin’s response it immediate - letting out a low growl as he bends Jeno over the counter, grinding against him. </p><p>Jeno humours him for a moment, enjoying the desperate rutting of his hips as he tries to hold onto the counter, fingers scrabbling against nothing on the smooth surface. </p><p>“God, fuck, Jeno, I wanna fill you up, baby,” he groans, and Jeno’s head spins, knees already shaking. </p><p>“Bed. Now.” he growls. </p><p>Jaemin holds his hand tight as they move to the bedroom, pausing only to strip their shirts off before Jaemin is kissing him again, grabbing at Jeno’s body and tilting his head to try and draw him as close as possible. </p><p>“How do you wanna do this?” Jaemin pants, looping his arms around Jeno’s neck and nuzzling against his throat. “You want both?” </p><p>“Both?” Jeno repeats, like he can’t believe his ears. </p><p>“Yeah, like, double penetration?” </p><p>“God,” Jeno breathes, the wording isn’t exactly romantic but the <em>implication?</em> Shit - this might just break him once and for all. “I want it,” he nods, “Want both of them, Jaemin, I can take it.” </p><p>“You can?” Jaemin challenges, licking a hot stripe up the column of Jeno’s neck. </p><p>“Yes - fuck - just, get some lube and I’ll show you that I can.” </p><p>Jaemin can’t take his eyes away from Jeno as he pulls his clothes off, trailing delicate fingers over hot skin, chasing the goosebumps away with feather-light kisses that make Jeno’s whole body light up with tingling arousal. The look Jaemin gives him is electrifying, this deep, dark, molten heat dripping from his gaze, and Jeno has never felt as alive as he does in this very moment, in bed with Jaemin, minutes away from making their connection deeper than ever before. </p><p>“Cold,” he whines when Jaemin drips lube over his perineum. </p><p>“I thought you could take it?” Jaemin teases, rubbing the pads of two fingers over his rim, slicking him up, and Jeno arches his back with a pitiful mewl. </p><p>“I can,” he insists, “Just— fucking give it to me, Jaemin—” He cuts off into a gasp as the younger breaches him with his middle finger, pressing inside gently, a fascinated smile on his face. Jaemin holds the eye contact as he starts gently gliding his finger in and out, gaze so intense that Jeno feels his face heating up with every passing second, but he can’t bare to look away, not when Jaemin is curling his finger and pressing in so deep that it sets Jeno’s every nerve ending aflame. </p><p>“More,” he whispers, his body already adjusted, aching for a bigger stretch - and Jaemin gives it to him. He slips his ring finger in, arm muscles flexing as he works them inside him, pressing and scissoring and curling as Jeno chews on his bottom lip. </p><p>He’s still getting used to two fingers when Jaemin settles back on his haunches and leans down, Jeno’s heart in his throat as he watches him pull his cock away from his stomach and suck the head into his mouth. </p><p><em>“Oh—”</em> he groans, speechless, because Jaemin is still holding his gaze as he suckles on the slanted tip like a lollipop, cheeks hollowing lightly. </p><p>“You’re so beautiful,” Jaemin murmurs, pulling away to swirl his tongue over the head, before running the pointed tip of it over the slit, pressing kitten licks to the sensitive bundle of nerves. His fingers still work slowly inside him, thrusting gently as Jaemin slaps Jeno’s cock against his tongue, making a show of sucking him off - and Jeno loves every second of it. </p><p>He threads his fingers into Jaemin’s hair, tugging gently on his scalp just to make him moan with his mouth full of cock, Jaemin’s eyes like saucers as he bobs his head, sinking down lower and lower. It’s so good, the wet heat around his cock and the weight of Jaemin’s fingers inside him, his mind already going fuzzy from the pleasure, and they’re only just getting started. Jeno’s never been much of a talker during sex, and Jaemin makes him even more tongue-tied than usual, stealing every breath of air from his lungs as he sucks him off a little faster, lewd, wet noises filling the room as saliva and precum dribble down his chin, his eyes wide and sparkling as he studies every reaction that he pulls from the elder. </p><p>“Fuck, Jeno, you’re so big, makes my jaw hurt,” Jaemin pants, pulling off with a disgustingly hot squelch. </p><p>“You just need some more practice then,” he teases, giving a tug to Jaemin’s hair, and he leans down to tongue at the base of his cock, where his knot would swell from. </p><p>“With a dick that tastes as good as yours? Glady, my love,” Jaemin grins, fangs glinting as he thrusts his fingers harder, and Jeno lets out a soft moan of his name. </p><p>It’s not long before Jaemin is adding a third digit, and this time it burns a little, Jaemin lapping at his balls to distract from the stretch, not batting an eye that Jeno’s a little sweaty - he really should’ve known that Jaemin would be a sweat monster. He kisses every inch of skin he can get his mouth on, hot tongue sweeping over twitching muscles and teeth scraping against sensitive skin, and it’s only when Jeno relaxes again does he wrap his hand loosely around his cock. </p><p>“Wait, Nana—” Jeno hiccups, pushing his bangs back and grabbing onto the pink strands. </p><p>“Hmm?” he hums, “Don’t you <em>want</em> to cum?” </p><p>“N— Not until you’re inside me,” he breathes, and he knows he’s won when Jaemin’s eyelashes flutter, his hands stuttering in their rhythm. </p><p>“Ohoh, in that case…” Jaemin grins, letting Jeno’s cock spring back against his stomach, leaving a little wet patch where precum drools onto his abs. “You’re gonna need some more prepping, baby.” </p><p>Jeno whines, high and needy as Jaemin sets to work stretching him out, first pressing his fingers in as deep as they’ll go, then dragging them out so slowly that a long whimper is drawn out of Jeno, hands clenching in the sheets. He misses Jaemin’s lips, so he pulls the younger up until he’s leaning over Jeno’s body, the change in angle making his fingers brush over his prostate, and Jeno gasps as he licks into Jaemin’s mouth, arms thrown around his neck. </p><p>It’s not so much a kiss, more just muffling his noises on Jaemin’s tongue as he slowly relaxes, knees knocking together and thighs trembling already. Jaemin dances around his prostate, but as if he’s not even searching for it on purpose, just letting his fingers land wherever they like as he fucks into Jeno’s core. A fourth finger prods at his rim, and Jeno doesn’t know if he can take the teasing much longer, body burning for Jaemin to just fuck him silly, but then he brings a hand up and palms at Jaemin’s bulge, and maybe he does need it. </p><p>“Yeah, like that,” Jaemin grins against his lips, pressing his hips down into Jeno’s hand, who rubs at the front of his boxers fervently. “You feel good? No pain, right?” he hums, nosing behind Jeno’s ear. </p><p>“Feels so good, Jaemin,” he pants, “I don’t wanna wait much longer.” </p><p>“I know, I know,” Jaemin soothes, kissing just under his jaw, “You’re doing so good, opening up so perfectly for me, baby.” </p><p>Jaemin’s praise goes straight to his dick, making his whole body tremble under his attentive gaze, his talented hands, his warm, slick mouth. He spreads his fingers one last time before pulling out gently, and Jeno whines, clenching around nothing and squirming against the sheets. </p><p>“I got you,” Jaemin says, holding Jeno’s chin gently and petting down his sides. </p><p>“Please, Jaemin,” he pants, vision blurry and veins on fire with need, he can’t wait any longer now. “Fuck me, please.” </p><p>The words sound so good rolling off his tongue, whispered against Jaemin’s parted lips, tone breathy and desperate but he doesn’t <em>care. </em>For Jaemin, he’ll do anything, give anything, take anything, as long as he gets to receive his love and attention, and right now he needs just that to complete him, his body uncomfortably empty. </p><p>“Of course, my love,” he breathes, capturing Jeno’s lips in a heated kiss as he moves to kneel between his thighs, Jeno pressing up onto his elbows so their lips don’t part for a second. Jaemin runs his palms over his thighs, squeezing the flesh and muscle as he goes, all while Jeno cups a hand at the back of his neck, pulling him closer. </p><p>Mouths still connected, Jeno reaches blindly for his nightstand, opening the bottom drawer and fishing around for the box of condoms. </p><p>“Oh, no baby I need—” Jaemin examines the box, before smiling devilishly, “Actually, these are the same ones I use.” </p><p>Jeno can’t help but blush - of <em>course</em> he and Jaemin would both use the leading brand of werewolf condoms on the market. They’re made especially tough, which compromises some of the pleasure, but allows werewolves to knot their partners without tearing the latex, and it makes sense that those with literal spines on their dicks would want the same. It’s a mixed box of sizes, and Jaemin picks out two condoms a little smaller than Jeno’s usuals, but he’s glad for the size difference when he’s about to have <em>both</em> lengths inside him, thicker than anything Jeno’s ever taken before. </p><p>As if sensing his nerves, Jaemin kisses him sweetly as he wriggles out of his boxers, tossing them off the end of the bed and grinding his dicks against Jeno’s once before pulling back to roll the condoms on. Jeno holds his lover’s hip as he watches, thumbing over the tanned skin of his toned body while Jaemin spreads lube over both of his lengths, the glide smooth now that his spines are tamed down. </p><p>“You okay?” he whispers, shuffling closer so his hips line up with Jeno’s. </p><p>“Never been better,” Jeno smiles gently, passing a pillow to Jaemin so he can place it under his hips, tilting his pelvis up higher for what will be an even better angle. </p><p>“We’ll go slow, yeah?” Jaemin reaches for his hand, entwining their fingers and giving them a gentle squeeze. </p><p>“Yeah,” Jeno repeats, spreading his legs wide so Jaemin can slot himself even closer. </p><p>Jeno watches with baited breath as Jaemin slips the tip of one cock inside him, sliding the first inch inside, and then angling his hips so he can press the head of the second against his rim. </p><p>“O— Oh my god,” Jeno chokes, finally realising how <em>big </em>of a stretch this will be as the blunt head slips past his rim, and it feels like he just got sucker-punched in the gut. </p><p>The room spins as Jaemin falls onto his hands to comfort him, their fingers still linked together against the pillows as he kisses Jeno’s cheek and temple between shuddering exhales. </p><p>“Fuck, Jen, you’re so tight,” he rasps into Jeno’s ear, dropping his forehead to rest on his shoulder, and Jeno gasps as the lengths shift inside him, sliding over each other as his walls clench around the sheer girth of them inside him. Jaemin holds him as he gets used to the stretch, his hips already aching from spreading his thighs so wide, and he sucks mark after mark into Jaemin’s neck to distract himself while his body relaxes. </p><p>He can tell Jaemin is itching to fuck him, arms shaking, and Jeno understands, since this is his first time feeling a warm body wrapped around his lengths - it must be driving him insane, feeling Jeno clench around him but not being able to push past the first inch yet, and Jeno kisses apologies into his salty skin. At last, his body starts to relax, and Jeno pulls the younger’s hips down until the burn gets too much again, and he’s so <em>unbelievably </em>full. </p><p>“You feel so good, Jaemin-ah, so deep— <em>fuck, </em>it’s so good,” he whimpers, stars at the corners of his vision as Jaemin rocks his hips a little, Jeno hooking his ankles around Jaemin’s lower back. </p><p>“Baby,” Jaemin moans back, licking up the sweat that beads on Jeno’s neck, swirling his tongue over the delicate skin of his pulse point. </p><p>“Okay, move,” Jeno gasps, pulling Jaemin closer with the leverage he has from his legs, and Jaemin rests their foreheads together as he slides home, their moans melting together into one lewd chorus. </p><p>“Shit, oh my— <em>mm!</em> God, so full, Jaemin, ‘m so full, oh fuck,” he moans, squeezing Jaemin’s hand tight, and pulling him down for a desperate kiss, his whole body on fire from how <em>deep </em>he can feel Jaemin inside him. </p><p>“Wolfie, wolfie, you’re gonna kill me, this is so fucking— <em>ahh!” </em>Jaemin pants, drool running off his lips from the exertion, and Jeno pokes his tongue out to lick it up, lapping across his plush, bitten lips. </p><p>“I love you,” Jeno whimpers, “Love you so much.” </p><p>“I love you too,” Jaemin says with a fucked-out smile, and Jeno wriggles his hips, showing him it’s okay. </p><p>Jaemin doesn’t ease him into it, doesn’t start out gently - oh no, he snaps his hips, driving his cocks deeper, and Jeno throws his head back with a wail. He moans, and sobs, and cries Jaemin’s name as he fucks him into the mattress, the bed creaking from the force of his thrusts as he splits Jeno in half, his guts twisting already from being worked up for so long. </p><p>“Not— <em>ah! </em>Not gonna last much— <em>fuck—</em> much longer,” he sobs, eyes welling up with tears from the overwhelming pleasure - and he never wants it to stop. </p><p>“Me neither,” Jaemin moans, sounding just as fucked out as he looks, with sweat dripping down his back as Jeno rakes his fingernails across it. </p><p>“Jaemin, cum inside me, please?” he begs, forcing his eyes open to catch Jaemin’s gaze, “I wanna feel it - <em>please!” </em></p><p>“I will, baby, I will,” he promises, snapping his hips even harder to chase his own high. </p><p>Jeno can’t wait another minute, so he leans up and bites down on Jaemin’s shoulder, sinking his fangs in so hard that Jaemin <em>screams. </em>For a moment, he thinks he’s gone too far and broken the skin, but there’s no tang of copper in his mouth, and Jaemin pulls out to rip both condoms off, before immediately slamming back in. </p><p>The second he’s buried inside Jeno again, the spines brushing firm against his walls, he grinds his hips a couple of times, needing only that to tip him over the edge, and he moans brokenly as he fills Jeno up. </p><p>Jeno doesn’t need a hand around himself - the feeling alone of Jaemin’s cocks pulsing against his prostate, massaging it carefully, has his body pulling taught and everything turns to white as he cums, clutching onto Jaemin’s body. </p><p>“Jeno, Jen, love you, love you so much— Jeno, baby,” Jaemin babbles, kissing his cheeks as Jeno cries in pure ecstasy, hot tears falling onto the pillow as he sobs, face buried in Jaemin’s neck. </p><p>“I love you, I love you,” he chants, hiccuping a little, and Jaemin is there to kiss his tears away, stroke his sweaty bangs off his forehead. </p><p>“Oh my <em>god,” </em>Jeno breathes when he’s a little calmer, the intensity of his untouched orgasm making him exhausted to his bones, and a little delirious. “You’re insane,” he grins, cupping Jaemin’s cheeks in his hands. </p><p>“You love it,” Jaemin smiles, face flushed and bangs plastered to his forehead. </p><p>He pulls Jaemin down into his arms, ignoring the mess that smears between their bodies, and he rubs his back gently, letting Jaemin relax on top of him with his cocks still nestled inside. They lie there for a long moment, and Jaemin’s breathing is so heavy he could be asleep, if not for the movement of his fingers as they stroke Jeno’s bicep, and his happy little hums every time Jeno presses a kiss to the top of his head. </p><p>“I wish we had a bath,” Jaemin grumbles, voice small and soft. </p><p>“Me too,” Jeno hums, “I can’t carry you to the shower this time, though, I don’t know if I can even walk.” </p><p>“Sorry,” Jaemin giggles - but they both know he has nothing to apologise for. “Come on,” he sighs with a yawn, stretching out sore muscles as he gingerly sits up, “I need to wash the cum off you before you make even more of a mess of our bed.” </p><p>“But I like being messy,” Jeno pouts, securing his arms around Jaemin’s neck so he can pull him upright, a hand on Jeno’s lower back. </p><p>“No, baby,” he hums, kissing his forehead, “You like messy sex, not messy aftermath.” </p><p>“Okay, you’re right,” he sighs, accepting defeat and letting Jaemin pull out carefully. His cocks are soft now so it doesn’t hurt, and they immediately retreat back inside his body when Jeno is empty again. </p><p>Jaemin hauls him up onto his feet, and immediately Jeno sees why he wanted him in the shower pronto. </p><p>“Oh god,” he gasps, feeling cum slide down his inner thighs, and he sucks up the muscle pain and hurries to the bathroom with Jaemin’s arm around his waist. </p><p>“It’s okay,” Jaemin soothes when they step inside the shower cubicle and Jeno shivers. He wraps him up in his arms, kissing Jeno against the shower wall as they let the water heat up - meanwhile Jaemin’s fingers dip inside him to encourage more cum to leak out. </p><p>“Jaemin,” he whimpers, feeling so small in Jaemin’s arms as he holds Jeno close, grabbing the shower head with his free hand and letting the hot water run down Jeno’s back. </p><p>“I know, I know,” he hums, caressing sore muscles and bruised skin as he gently washes Jeno clean, rewarding him with as many kisses as he likes - even massaging his scalp when he shampoos his hair. Jeno returns the favour, his spent legs trembling, but he cherishes every second of gently washing Jaemin’s body clean, until Jaemin turns the water off and wraps him up in a towel. </p><p>Their sheets are fucked, so Jeno bundles the whole duvet up in his arms and dumps it on the bathroom floor while Jaemin gathers up all the blankets they have between them and layers them up on the bed. Jeno has to lie on his side, ass too sore for any other position, so Jaemin slides in behind him, both still stark naked, their hair dripping wet, but Jaemin is kissing the backs of his shoulders softly, and all he cares about is a nap. Jaemin cuddles into his back, wrapping his arm around Jeno’s waist and tangling their legs together. </p><p>Just like the end of every cheesy romcom, everything fades to black as Jeno’s breathing slows, pulled under by sleep, but the only difference is, this isn’t the end - it’s only the beginning of the rest of their lives together. </p><p>🐺</p><p>
  <em>Three months later </em>
</p><p>“So you like it here?” Jeno smiles, wrapping his arm around Jaemin’s waist in their new kitchen. Jaemin hands him a glass of wine, clinking their glasses together as they look over the scene of their housewarming party, Jeno’s closest colleagues mingling with his friends, along with his parents and sister, and Jaemin’s father. </p><p>“I love it,” Jaemin grins back, leaning into Jeno’s side and kissing him tenderly. </p><p>“I’m glad,” he hums, swaying Jaemin gently to the background music. Mr Na is taking them all down to the bar later, where it’s certain to get much noisier, but for now, he’s enjoying the relaxed atmosphere of their apartment. </p><p>It has a bath, as Jaemin insisted, and a proper parking garage, walls that aren’t paper thin, taps that don’t squeak - and it’s all thanks to Jaemin’s new job. </p><p>“Hey - you worked hard for this too!” he insists every time Jeno praises him for his new career move, and in fairness, Jeno’s generous pay rise did have something to do with it. Most importantly though, he’s so incredibly proud of his lover for putting himself out there and applying for jobs at any dance studio he could find. A studio in Andong saw his application, and recognised him immediately from his American days, and now he teaches his own class, coaching the next generation of young talent. </p><p>His father flew out for the occasion, and an expression of pure pride never leaves his face, shaking both Jeno’s and Jaemin’s hand every chance he gets, congratulating them on the happiness and success they’ve found in each other. </p><p>Jeno’s friends were upset at first that he was moving away, but as soon as he promised they could visit any time they liked, they soon came around. Jaemin is closer to them than ever, and he makes his own friends at the dance studio too, people who really care about him and want the best for him. </p><p>Leaning against the kitchen counter, Jeno thinks back to those dark winter days before Jaemin came home, thinks about how he’s a completely different person now - both of them are. </p><p>Considering where they started, they’ve come a long way, and Jeno knows now that it’s always been Jaemin, and it always will be - forever. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you made it to the end, I just want to say thank you so so much for checking out my work. This started out as a little project to keep me from losing my mind when I was off sick from work at the beginning of this year, and it grew into... this. I've never written anything of this size or depth before, and I never thought I could do it in 6 weeks at that! I've thought about every detail of this fic more than anything else before, so I'm not sure yet if I can call this my magnum opus, but it sure feels like it! </p><p>Also, for the monsterfuckers, I have got an epilogue fic planned which is just pure PWP, I'm sure I'll tweet about it when I do start writing that, for now I just wanted to get this one out and posted. </p><p>Now, for the goodies I promised, I would like everyone to take a look at the one picture that inspired Jaemin's whole dick design. Originally I was going to make him a human who fucks monsters, but then Chii inspired me with this bit of "biology research" and I just had to give him the spined hemipenis he deserves! Jaemin's design is labelled D (appropriately). <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/figure/fully-everted-and-expanded-hemipenes-of-a-Mastigodryas-reticulatus-isla-de-la-Plata_fig2_247164112">Here</a> is the picture itself, and <a href="http://200.12.169.19/bitstream/25000/14600/1/Revalidation%20of%20Herpetodryas%20reticulata.pdf">here</a> is the research paper it's from (does contain pictures of dead snakes, there's no blood or anything but if you're squeamish like me then just look at the first link bhhjfjs) </p><p>Lastly, if you are a fanartist and would want to collaborate/are open for commissions for sfw and/or nsfw art, then send me a dm, because I would love to see my fanged monster boys brought to life and I have plenty of reference pics hehe </p><p>Thank you so much again for reading, and please let me know what you think! I was really nervous to post this one as it's so different from my usual works, so I will deeply cherish every single comment &lt;3<br/> <br/><a href="https://twitter.com/JENOXCX">my twitter</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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